1, the old man opened a world five million enterprises, I hung up a vice president position. Idle and bored, I drove the Rolls Royce sent by the husband to run Didi, and just received a couple.

1, the old man opened a world five million enterprises, I hung up a vice president position. Idle and bored, I drove the Rolls Royce sent by the husband to run Didi, and just received a couple. The man who got on the bus said, "Go back at night and go to bed early, I'm going to play five rows with my brother, and tonight I'm going to stay up all night!" "The woman didn't make a sound, and her face was not happy! When we arrived at the destination, the man got out of the car, and the woman did not get off, and directly closed the door. Open the window and say to me out loud, "Master, go to the nearest hotel, you can collect the car now!" "With the aim of helping others, I went out with one foot on the accelerator, and the man chased me three streets.

2, Shanghai work every morning crowded bus. One day, an old woman came halfway through, and someone gave way. Then the old woman began to say that you foreigners came to Shanghai to make the Shanghai buses crowded, and the Shanghai buses were still very good without you. Then he was decisively picked up by the young man and sat down on his own

3, randomly find a few sisters to ask, all of them long reported a long list of things to buy. From children's toys, to household items, to the clothes of a family, to the things they like, to pile up a shopping cart full of them. I also saw friends posting shopping cart lists on the Internet, long, long, a long list! A friend said to her: "You are really bold enough, dare to be open, you are not afraid of your husband clearing your shopping cart!" The friend smiled: "Pull your husband black in advance!" Wait for the goods to arrive and then release him from prison. ”

4, walking on the street today, two women are fighting. I thought to myself, so many people have persuaded me to fight, I will not go to join in the fun. Just as I was about to turn around to leave, I suddenly heard a voice, "Rip her clothes, pull her pants, and see how she will behave in the future." Oh I go, what a man this is. So I went back into the crowd

5, quarrel with my girlfriend In the Cold War, I played games in the study. My girlfriend called out to me at the door: "Would you like to have dinner at night?" I apologize when I you off! "As a generous good boyfriend, a competent foodie, I readily agreed. As he walked toward the door, he asked, "What will I eat?" At this time, the girlfriend suddenly roared: "Closed door soup! "Snap, the door is closed.

6, the goddess said shyly: When I get married, I hope you are also present. Me: You want me to go to the ceremony? Goddess: Of course not, how can you be so stupid!! I want you to be the one I can't get married without you!" I was overjoyed: Do you want me to be a priest to give you a marriage? Wow, I've thought about the priest's addiction, well, that's it. goddess:......

7, my brother is 13 years old———— today to go to my aunt's house. My brother watches cartoons. My brother said that he is still watching cartoons when he is so old, he should watch some adults... Then my brother said, adult TV can not see... Then I felt that the world was quiet

8. After returning to work yesterday, I resigned. Then I went to my friend and asked about my new job. I asked, "Dude, what are you doing?" He replied: "I work in a newly formed company, and I don't have a good job. Oh, yes. Don't you work at a funeral home? What about your salary? I said, "The salary is not bad, about 10,000 a month." Then he smiled and said, "Do you still want people?" I replied, "Yes, of course, 24 hours open door to collect people." ”

9, taking advantage of the wife to return to her mother's house, I was crazy to ask my sister on the "detective". I met a girl from the same city, and I planned to ask her out. My sister said to me: I can chase after me, but I like honest boys. That night, she messaged me: What are you doing? I said: Playing League of Legends. She also said: I just got off work and didn't eat and starved to death, have you eaten? I'm very honest with you: I've eaten, I've eaten a lot! Then, she ignored me again, and half an hour later I messaged her and a red exclamation point appeared on the screen...

10, one day a classmate saw five yuan, originally wanted to give it to the teacher, but because of his mouth, he actually bought a five-dollar marshmallow, just wanted to eat, he began to feel guilty, and finally he decided to be an honest child. So he excitedly ran to the teacher's office and said to the teacher, "Teacher, I picked up a marshmallow today." ”

11, blind date to know a beautiful woman, she smiled like a flower said, follow me to the house to see, right? I smiled and nodded yes to her. She was driving, I was sitting in the co-pilot, and although it was late, the city's roads were still busy and bustling with traffic. She took me back home, a relatively large suburban villa. She took me upstairs and brought me a brand new set of change of clothes, and I said in amazement, how can you have men's clothes in your house? She smiled and said, I bought it before you came! This is called being prepared!

12, my cousin talked about a boyfriend when she went to work in other places last year, and her home is southern. My cousin took her boyfriend home for the New Year, and apart from being a little short, everywhere else was good. At lunchtime, my cousin's boyfriend had a pot of chicken soup in front of him, and my cousin said, "Honey, you help me scoop a little chicken." He took the bowl and asked the sister-in-law: Are you sure? Cousin: Yes, scoop it up! Then we saw him pick up a piece of chicken and carefully bite down on the chicken and spit it into his sister-in-law's bowl!

13, the brother met the mother-in-law in the hotel, the mother-in-law was stunned, and then said: You recognize the wrong person. The brother was stunned for a moment, and then reacted and said: I'm sorry, I'm disturbed. Later, when my brother and sister-in-law went back to my mother's house for dinner, my brother silently bought all-green vegetables and a turtle to take to the soup for my father-in-law to eat: I don't know if my father-in-law can understand what I mean!

14, the wife is very high in her family. When I first went, I was almost a few years old and called me Grandpa! When I got married, there was a banquet there, and when I was toasting, a grandfather in his eighties stood up very hard, and I rushed to help him: Grandpa, you just sit. Him: Little uncle, you don't have to care about me, I'm okay...