1, Fa Xiao family is poor, junior high school dropped out of school to go to work in other places, some time ago suddenly learned the news of his fortune. I was just tight on hand and ready to borrow money from him and ask him to drink at an upscale hotel

1, Fa Xiao family is poor, junior high school dropped out of school to go to work in other places, some time ago suddenly learned the news of his fortune. I happened to be tight on hand and ready to borrow money from him and ask him to have a drink in an upscale hotel. Curious, I asked, "Dude, what did you get so rich on?" Can you tell me about it? Fa Xiao lit a cigarette: "I'm ashamed to say, I didn't rely on anything at the time, I was beaten up on the plane." ”

2, overnight, the renminbi depreciated by nearly 4%, if you have 10 million, overnight lost an Audi Q5. If you only have 100 yuan like me, there may be no breakfast. Fortunately, I have no money and the bloody lesson tells us that the future money is not counted by what you say, you should eat, drink, and buy!

3. When I was studying at the University of Petroleum, I had a very good relationship with a roommate. Two years after graduation, I heard that he suddenly became rich and became a multimillionaire. Once, I asked my roommate to go to a barbecue stall for a drink. Curious, I asked, "Dude, how did you get so rich?" Can you tell me about it? The roommate lit a cigarette: "I'm ashamed to say, I didn't rely on anything, I was beaten up on the plane!" ”

4, after eating, I was ready to go to the checkout, and said to the waiter: "Beauty, checkout." Waiter: "Okay, swipe card or cash?" Me: "Is it okay to brush the dishes?" Waiter: "Good, you can discount." I asked excitedly, "How many folds?" Waiter: "Broken bones." ”

5, the cinema in the big shopping mall, I excitedly said to my wife: "Wife, this movie has a good reputation!" No urine throughout. Point, be sure to see! The excitement is definitely not to be missed! The wife also said excitedly: "Good, good! "I bought tickets and dragged my wife into the movie theater. My wife really liked this movie and watched it intently. I forgot to eat the popcorn on my hand. And I sat in a comfortable chair and pinched my broken leg after a day of shopping with my wife. After a while, the picture in front of my eyes gradually blurred, and the beautiful entered the dreamland...

6, the northeast to the winter is really cold, a few days ago to interview a job, just in time for the snow, against the snow to go to the interview, fortunately passed in the end, but the examiner read my words but said: very good-looking a girl, how to write so ugly. Me: Frozen. A few days after going to work, the original examiner happened to see what I wrote again: After so many days, this heating in the house has not slowed you down.

7, in the square, a man ate a bite of pepper, tears are about to come out, he got down on one knee, proposed to the woman, "Marry me okay?" "When the woman hesitated, the man kissed the woman. The woman said, "So spicy! "The man answered the call and put the ring on the woman's ring finger, and there was a cheer at the scene... ———————————————————————

8, today the kindergarten opened, the daughter of the kindergarten class pitifully tugged at the corner of my clothes: "Can I not go to school today, I feel that I have a fever." I touched her head and said, "Okay, just rest at home, let's go get an injection first." She was furious: "How did you become a mother?" I said I won't go if I don't go, will you take the child? "Finally, I went to kindergarten with a sigh of relief!

9, the wife bought a lot of snacks and dog food online, the result of half a month has passed, or delay in the goods, the wife called customer service: when do you ship? The customer service lady said sorry: Sorry, recently it is a special time, so the delivery may be slower. Me: I don't listen, I'm starving. The customer service lady was silent for a moment and said: "However, you bought dog food!"

10. Female: Why add me? Me: I wonder how hooking up with a girl doesn't make her feel disgusted. F: Oh well, I can teach you this. For example, you can talk like this. Me: How to talk? F: Hello, can I send you a red envelope? Me: Yes! "How much do you like me", "A dime", "Why", "Because it's very much"

11, the aunt is on a business trip, the uncle immediately drove a Porsche to take the cousin to eat KFC. Uncle is queuing up to order food, a big mother came in and said to the waiter: two red bean pie, hurry! The waiter said: I'm sorry, this gentleman came first, please queue up. The aunt glanced at the uncle in the back, and the uncle was angry from the heart, and asked loudly: How many red bean pie are there? Waiters: 250. Uncle: It's all right, I'll just ask!

12 My girlfriend and I hid in the movie theater for the first time we kissed, and I almost threw up because I wasn't used to the taste in her mouth. I said to her, "Let's not kiss again, shall we?" She said, "Good! She said to me, "I can't stand the smell of your garlic, I spit out sour water." ”

13, a couple went to the bank to withdraw money, the wife said to the husband: "I am going to lose the password, you let go", the husband slipped back to the side. After hearing only three sounds of Didi, the wife turned to her husband and said: "Well, I have lost, it is time for you to lose the last three" Oh, I strangled one, really open eyes, it turned out to be mutual restraint and mutual supervision ah... high! Then I saw: my husband pressed the backspace button 3 times and then entered the 6-digit password... My whole person instantly had an iq....

14, a company is laying off employees, the manager said to employee A: Unfortunately, you are going to be laid off. Employee A cried and said: Ah, I have old and young, what will I do in the future? The boss smiled and said: "It just so happens that you have more time to take care of them later...