1. The second generation of the first rich went on a blind date, and the girl asked, "Do you have a sports car?" Fu Er Dai scratched his head: "This is not true, my family only has SUVs" The girl scorned: "Then you are still a rich second."

1. The second generation of the first rich went on a blind date, and the girl asked, "Do you have a sports car?" The rich second generation scratched his head: "This is not true, my family only has SUVs" The girl scornfully said: "Then you are still a rich second generation, let's forget it." Out of the door, the girl saw Fu Er Dai walking straight to a Maserati icon sports car girl ran over in a huff, and said, "Hate, don't you mean you don't have a sports car, what is this!" Fu Er Dai said, "Isn't this just an SUV?" The girl looked at him, suddenly realized, shook her head and walked home, the girl's mother scolded: "Are you stupid, the rich second generation you still can't see, what do you want." The girl said helplessly: "You just say that his height, look at the car is an SUV, I don't want to be with him." "

2 At noon, I often go to a restaurant to eat Chaos. Over time, I became acquainted with my boss's children. One day, I teased him: Little friend, do you want to eat chaos? It's delicious, oh ~ the little boy said: I don't want to eat. I asked: Why, did you eat too much and get tired of eating? The little boy replied: No. Mom said, dirty, don't let me eat!

3 A colleague got drunk in KTV, picked up the gourd on the table and aimed it at the boss lady, and then he asked in the surprised eyes of everyone: "Liu Zong, Liu Zong, I call your name, do you dare to agree?" The hostess said, "What's not to like!" So the colleague shouted at her, "Eight mothers! "As a result, the next day my colleague was transferred to the sales department because of his boldness...

4 Sometimes taking the first step bravely can really change a person's life, and my personal experience can prove it very well! That summer, I was still in school, and suddenly I felt a little discomfort in my abdomen, so I hurried to the toilet, just in time to meet a group of smoking at the door of the toilet: Yo! Isn't this Xiao Ai? The boss stopped me, and I, who was already anxious, pushed him away and bravely took that step! Since then I've had an extra code name in school! Look, that's the kid who was punched out of yesterday!

5 Co-workers broke up with her boyfriend and then made a very strange move. She boarded her boyfriend's qq and sent a message to every woman: I broke up because I found out I love you! This includes classmates, colleagues, friends and other people who do not know. After that, she calmly withdrew, using her own words to leave a message for qq's ex-boyfriend: As an ex-girlfriend, I can only help you get here...

6 Husband is drunk. I lost my wallet and phone. There were ID cards, bank cards, etc. in the wallet. After a few days of being drunk again, he came home to find his wallet and mobile phone back. The next day he said that the last time he was drunk, he was afraid that his wallet would be lost, so he dug a pit and buried it, and when he woke up, he forgot about it. This time drunk again, I remembered. Dig him out. Oh, what a talent!

7 After dinner, the family sat on the couch watching TV. I couldn't help but lean on my husband. Who knew that these two goods pushed me with disgust, and I was aggrieved: Husband, when you first got married, you were not like this, you like to put your arms around me to watch TV, why has it changed now? My husband didn't answer me, but he asked his son, who was in kindergarten: Son, the Transformers that dad bought for you last month, why don't you play? The son's head was not lifted: That, play tired!

8 My cousin played all night eating chicken last night, and fell asleep during class today, and the teacher asked him to answer questions. Teacher: You get up and make a sentence, a question sentence. The cousin was a little overwhelmed: Teacher, are you asking me? Teacher: Very good, recreate a prayer sentence. Cousin: Teacher I didn't hear clearly, please say it again!! Teacher: Next, recreate an exclamation sentence. My cousin was about to cry and said: It's too hard!! I won't. Teacher: The answer is very good, the students should study as well as she did. 

9 The boyfriend has an ambiguous relationship with the landlady, and yesterday he came to my house for dinner. I pointed at the dinner table and scolded Mulberry: "I hate men eating soft rice the most, I have a stinky face, and I also eat women's soft rice, don't face!" Grandpa, who was sitting opposite, slapped the table and got angry. Grandpa: You SI, who are you scolding, I'm eighty years old, my teeth have fallen out, let your grandmother make the steamed buns soft for me and then eat them, what's the obstacle to you! "I:" ....."

10 This day shopping met the first love boyfriend, he saw me very excited, dead grabbed my hand, broke up for 5 years, I miss you all the time! My tears of emotion are about to flow, and he can't forget me! My first love boyfriend pulled me along: I didn't expect to meet you on Valentine's Day, go, follow me to a place! I happily asked: Wouldn't it be a bit hasty to register so quickly? First love boyfriend: My wife gave birth in the hospital, she was bleeding heavily, and she was a rare blood type, just as you are!

11 I remember that once I went to the male ticket's house during the menstrual period, I went to the toilet to change my aunt's towel in the middle of the way, and I was worried that my parents would see it and deliberately fold it and throw it in the trash. After a while, I heard the male ticket mother exclaiming, only to see their dog rushing over with a piece of white and red, tearing while running, the whole living room floor was covered with blood-stained white cotton, at that moment, I wanted to die...

12 festival ago, resigned, the phone did not ring for three months, I doubted that the mobile phone was a problem, so I took it to the repair shop to find a master to repair it, the person took my mobile phone to check for a long time, said no problem, I looked at the record, that is, you have not called for several months, no one sent a message, sleeper, big brother, please don't say it...

13 Last night, after my husband fell asleep, I secretly picked up his finger to untie the phone, but I didn't expect that the moment I saw the screen, my face was full of red, and the screensaver was a string of words: Wife, nothing, I love you to death. So I put down my husband's cell phone and closed my eyes to sleep. But it seems that my husband breathed a sigh of relief!!!!!

14 On the bus, a man said that there was no change, looking for girls everywhere to borrow, no one paid attention to him, and a girl behind him could not bear to help him swipe the card, the man said to add her, sent red envelopes to her, the girl gave him a white look. Along the way, the man stood on the side of the girl to talk to her, the girl ignored him, he was going to get off, and the man used a trick: Sister, you are like my ex-girlfriend. The girl turned back and said, "Scumbag, I am your ex-girlfriend!" ” 。。。。。

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #