The company has a new young woman, good figure, beautiful looks, full of charm, I heard that the divorce was not long ago. I took a fancy to her at first sight, chased her for three weeks, and she finally agreed to be my girlfriend

The company has a new young woman, good figure, beautiful looks, full of charm, I heard that the divorce was not long ago. I took a fancy to her at first sight, chased her for three weeks, and she finally agreed to be my girlfriend. Yesterday and my girlfriend went shopping, on the road met a man, looking very obscene, he stared at us both, saw his dirty eyes, I was suddenly angry, shouted at him, look at your sister! Unexpectedly, at this time, a scene against the sky appeared, and my girlfriend's eyes lit up and she shouted: Brother! How do you come shopping, my God, it turned out to be her old brother, this is really a big water washed away the Dragon King Temple, my face brushed red, my girlfriend's brother patted me on the shoulder, smiled and said, to their girlfriend so tight, good, I appreciate you! After saying goodbye to her, when I got to my house, I watched horror movies with my proposed girlfriend, and of course I was happy to watch horror movies with her. A film has not been finished, bang bang, heard someone knocking on the door, a look at the girlfriend girlfriend, I called her to watch a horror movie with us, after the movie, her girlfriend paled and said that she was scared to see it, tonight I must have my girlfriend sleep with her. I sighed, I am doing my own evil, I can't live! Hang as high as Haman!

2, the daughter-in-law and the male manager went on a business trip together, I did not want to cook alone, so I went downstairs to eat buns. After going in and finding a place to sit down, I picked up the bun and took a bite, shouting angrily: Boss, is your meat stuffing not fresh, why do I feel like throwing up when I eat it? The boss said to me: If you eat buns, don't stare at the mirror in front of you, you will think that the buns are particularly delicious. I tried it, and it really was, it seems that this bun is really no problem!

3, yesterday overtime to very late, the next day did not get up to catch the meeting. The boss called and said that there were several customers coming to the company and asked me to come right over. I hurriedly washed my face, brushed my teeth and changed my shoes, feeling a little cold, so I found a pair of thick insoles. Just one of the pads, the phone rang again. So I answered the phone and put the other one in my pocket. To the company to exchange business cards with customers, the brother pulled out an insoles... Boss, I didn't mean to embarrass you...

4, this day I was off work, my sister and my little nephew came to the house. My nephew asked me: Uncle, have you seen Journey to the West? I said: My uncle grew up watching Journey to the West, watched it dozens of times, and every winter and summer vacation was put on TV, and every line could be recited backwards like a stream! The nephew said: Then can you recite the Tang monk's tight curse to me? He buzzed too fast each time to hear clearly.

5, take the bus, halfway up two students-like girls, come up and stand next to me. One of the girls said what to do when they got to the pedestrian street, and the other nodded in agreement with me and wanted me too. Since the two got into the car, all kinds of roars and all kinds of chats. When the car finally reached the end, I couldn't stand it anymore and had to tell them, "You're sitting in the opposite car." ”

6, in a remote rural area, there is a particularly magical custom. It is the wedding day of the bride, secretly put on her husband's shoes and walk around the house twice, and her husband listens to her all his life. A woman with a bride did this, and a relative asked her curiously, "What will happen after you wear it?" Woman: "As a result, he was infected with severe athlete's foot by his stinky shoes!" ”

7, I am a courier in SF, usually work particularly hard, good in the salary is good. After today's salary, my wife plans to buy a pair of LV high heels for 5,000 yuan. I thought it was too expensive, and no matter how much she pleaded, I disagreed. After a while, the wife came out of the kitchen and angrily asked, "I asked you one last time, is the pair of high heels I picture expensive?" I said weakly, "It's not expensive." The wife was immediately happy: "It's not expensive, is it?" Then don't kneel. As soon as her voice fell, I stood up from the ground trembling against the wall.

8, recently my husband and mother-in-law have become better and better for me, and every day is a good meal and drink to take care of me. After a week, I couldn't help it. So I asked my husband: Why did you and your mother-in-law suddenly treat me so well? Husband said: Who made you pregnant? I said: Who told you I was pregnant? I'm not pregnant. Husband said: You know that you are not pregnant and do not hurry to lose weight, so that people look like pregnant.

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #