Since becoming a parent, I feel that I am practicing every day, and when I am upset, I am even more tormented.
Will a voice unconsciously emerge in the heart complaining that the child can't do anything when he delays himself?
But is that really the case?
In fact, the child is what you want, when he is still in his mother's belly, every day he hopes that she can land safely and thrive.
When the child smiles at you every time, every time he says something childish, every time he wants to make you cry, your heart is so gentle and loving, but why is it that when the child makes trouble and wants you to play with you more, he is annoyed.
The reason is that the reason is that their own mentality is that their own non-acceptance of the status quo has caused inner rejection and annoyance.
So how to solve it? Set a few small goals.
No complaints.
I have done this okay, so many years have not complained much, yesterday there was, so out of this article, the purpose is to share, the second is to warn themselves.
When my sister wants to complain, she can do it in a different way:
Just be honest about your feelings and needs.
For example: I see shredded paper on the ground, and my psychological feelings are blocked, which is not good.
The couch is so messy, I need you to clean up with me.
Also, if you love to complain, I recommend that you check out the book "The World Without Complaining".
I am the beneficiary, so I have the say.
The range of motion should be small.
Sometimes in order to save trouble, figure fast, figure lazy, will directly use "throw", "kick" and "fall" action, which is very bad.
My family has this problem, it really affects the children.
The voice is small.
If you can go to the front to communicate, don't shout in the air.
While you can hear it upstairs and downstairs, the child learns a rude mode of communication.
Pit not pit ~
Be graceful every time you turn.
When parents are angry, the child's little heart is very brittle and sensitive.
For you, unhappily turning around and ignoring your child may be a small reaction, but what your child feels is indifference, oppression, isolation, and abandonment.
Hurtful and sad, the gains outweigh the losses.
Can not turn around and stay still, let the child's subconscious understand a little "how he is how his parents love him",
Problems encountered are resolved maturely.
The reaction mentioned above is actually one of the manifestations of immaturity.
When we solve the problem, it is also the process of proofing the child.
Encountering problems is very troublesome, but if you can use this to cultivate children's problem-solving ability and good habits, then parents are wise parents.
Crouch down, crouch down, squat down.
How to do temperature and love, first of all, we must respect the child.
How can you do it with respect?
Start by lowering your body, first crouch down and look up at your child (instead of standing tall and asking your child to look up).
Shut up and stop the suffering.
People have seven passions and six desires, and their parents are not gods who are flesh and blood people, and it is inevitable that there will be times when they are not in a good state. At this time, when the child makes a fuss and does something unpleasant, it is easy to provoke himself.
What to do?
I thought of a trick for myself:
If you can't open your mouth calmly, keep your mouth shut, this process will be quite painful, because here is the influence of your original family on your own deep bone marrow, it is against your original intention, against your original "human nature", and compete with yourself.
But there is no trick, in order for the child to be able to get rid of this sea of suffering (if you can't do it, the child will continue the influence of your original family on him, either you are bitter, or the child is bitter, which one you choose), I have to shut up the suffering.
The thing to pay attention to is that the suffering of shutting up is itself a practice, and it will be painful at the beginning, but after the bottleneck period and the breakthrough, it will not feel like a suffering, and you and your children will be liberated and free.
Regardless of the child.
A child is born free, so why bother with him?
Tube is not love, it is interference.
Think about it in a different way, you are stared at for 24 hours, this can't be done, that can't be seen, it's not right to do this, it's not good to do that, can you stand it?
So why can the child bear it, he is still just a young child.
So what to do?
The accurate idea is to guide, assist and cooperate.
If the child's behavior is not in the right direction, we can guide him to find the right direction.
If your child is going to do something he can't do yet, we can help him do it.
If you want to point fingers at your child, we can lead him to do it together, which is called cooperation.
In short, you can't let the child feel oppressed, and it is not right to threaten and induce.
Confiscated confiscation deep breath.
It's a good habit to help yourself stay calm.
It's also good for the body, so let's do it now
I am Jian Shuxin, love children, love life, love writing, pay attention to me, we empower together.