1, when I was a child, I got a double hundred in the midterm exam, my father took me to Hong Kong to play, and when I returned home, I told my friends in the village about the anecdotes on the road and the high-rise buildings in Hong Kong. More than ten years have passed,

1, when I was a child, I got a double hundred in the midterm exam, my father took me to Hong Kong to play, and when I returned home, I told my friends in the village about the anecdotes on the road and the high-rise buildings in Hong Kong. More than ten years passed, my father sent me to Zhengzhou to go to college, I stood in the square of the railway station stunned, this place seems to have come...

2, silver wheat beer is on fire! It's so dirty... Hahahahaha my own daughter, just graduated from college, Shandong, just got a job, in the silver wheat brewery to do sales. Excitedly, he called his dad, "Dad, I've got a job selling silver wheat beer!" "On the same day, my father drove more than a hundred miles to find me

3. When I was in college, I had no money to eat at the end of the month, so I had to call my father to ask for living expenses. Dad said, "Okay, hit your card, thirty thousand." I was very touched, I didn't expect my father to be so generous to me. After checking the balance, I called my father and said: Dad, I checked it, why is it only 300? Dad said: Don't bother me, sanjo!

4, in the past month, my father called me more than ten times, each time he said that he was wrong, asked him, and he said it was okay. The more I thought about it, the more wrong it became, and I immediately drove home. When I saw my father, who had just woken up and was confused, my eyes were hot: "Dad, what are you doing?" Dad patted me on the head and said, "Silly girl, you're back!" My phone is broken, always auto dial to you, you buy me a new phone to go. ”

5, after dinner, I lay on the bed, my wife snuggled in my arms, I lowered my head and gently kissed my wife's forehead. Wife: Husband, my white hair is getting more and more, you can help me pull it out! Me: Haven't you heard that white hair is pulling out more and more? Wife: I've heard of it, but why do you pull more and more? Me: You think, you pulled this white one, next to the black, looking at the face is frightened white!

6, when eating in the school canteen, was forced into debt by the girls at the same table, I said that recently the hand is tight, the girl licked her lips, then you can pay for the meat. I looked at her one hundred and sixty pounds and said humiliatingly, Well, I'm fleshy. Then the fat man took the braised meat in front of me...

7, just at the train station, a girl pulled me and said that her wallet was lost, she couldn't go back, and she needed twenty yuan to buy a ticket. I said, "Sister, don't you have a place to stay at night, go to my house, I'll cook you food, and then drive you home." The little girl was shocked at first, and then said, "Lie down!" Then quickly turned away.

8, buddy to confess, we mixed in the crowd and shouted "together", but the girl did not say no. Embarrassed, an old lady selling tea eggs next to her couldn't look at it anymore and came over and said, "Promise, I only have one regret in my life, that is, I missed the right person." The girl was silent for a moment and took the flowers. After that, I bought a few tea eggs and said, "Thanks to you just now, can you tell your story?" The old lady was expressionless: "There is no story, your friend gave me a hundred pieces to let me say." ”

9. I fell in love with my girlfriend in Tsinghua University for 4 years. One day after graduating, my girlfriend took me home to meet my parents. When my uncle saw me, he looked at me carefully and asked, "You practice karate, right?" I said seriously: Uncle, although I am physically strong, but karate is a Japanese thing, I definitely don't practice it. The uncle was instantly angry: Then you still come empty-handed!

10, when I came home, I saw my brother and sister-in-law playing with rock scissors cloth, and my sister-in-law was playing with lai, and my brother would not let me with a straight face. I couldn't help but say that he let his daughter-in-law do it, and my brother said, "Or you can do it for me, I have a headache!" "Substitute for the substitute, what's the big deal?" Then I lost. Mom, I also have a headache, and they bet on who lost and who taught the third-grade nephew to write homework...

11, the mother called: Son, Sunday is a holiday, why not come back? Son: Mom, I didn't do well in this midterm exam and I don't want to go back. Mom: Son, I know, come back, me and your father, have prepared a big meal for you, comfort you. As soon as the son arrived home, the mother dragged it to a big truth and talked for more than an hour. He sighed and said, "Son, my spiritual feast is over, it's time for your father to eat." Dad holds a bamboo piece: Finally it's time for me to appear, just say that he can remember, can he do well? Look at my bamboo slices of roast meat, my son took the road and fled: Liar, you are all liars...

12, my wife and male colleagues went on a business trip, I can finally indulge myself. After work, I texted my buddies: Are you free? There is business to talk to you about. Dude replied: Let's just say what the activity is, my daughter-in-law is not at home. I immediately said: Well, come with me to that bar fishing girl last time? At this time, the tone of speech suddenly changed, buddy: Sure enough, he is kneeling on the washboard, I am his daughter-in-law.

13, the boyfriend tattooed a Tang monk, the result of the first day to lose money, the next day crash, the third day to let the unit fired. So he went up the mountain to find the senior monk to calculate, and the senior monk finished calculating and said, you go back and wait! I can't break it, my boyfriend said, you are breaking it for Lao Tzu! The senior monk said: You can't tattoo anything, tattoo Tang monk, he is ninety-nine eighty-one difficult, you are only three difficulties! Go home and wait

14. Can you imagine going to a bathroom and being watched? It took 20 minutes to squeeze into the bathroom and found that it was full of people (on the floor, in the washbasin). I said I wanted to be convenient, and they said: Pee, let's watch... Look...