1. One day five years ago, my sister was beaten by my brother-in-law, and my sister cried and went back to her hometown. When the father knew, he stood up and said to his mother. "Please comfort my daughter. I'll go out for a while. Then the parent

1. One day five years ago, my sister was beaten by my brother-in-law, and my sister cried and went back to her hometown. When the father knew, he stood up and said to his mother. "Please comfort my daughter. I'll go out for a while. Then the father went to the brother-in-law's house with red eyes and said to the brother-in-law. "If my daughter does anything wrong in the future, you will beat me." Because I didn't educate her. Ready to kneel, I was pulled up by my brother-in-law, crying and whispering, "Daddy, I'm sorry, I was wrong." So far, I have never heard of my brother-in-law beating my sister.

2, visiting the park to see a couple arguing, the woman took off the ring and stuffed it for the man: "Give it back to you!" The man "pounced" the ring and threw it in the pool. The woman turned her head and ran, and the man chased after him. I'm idle and have nothing to keep up with to see the hilarity... Then the man hugged the woman, pulled out a ring, and said, "Lie to you, I just threw a stone." I smiled and went back to the same way to continue shopping, and then I saw an uncle standing in the pool, fishing happily.

3, the girlfriend's appetite is particularly large, others eat a bowl of rice is full, she has to eat ten bowls to be full. On this day, the girlfriend went to eat the rice bowl, ate a large bowl that was not full and was embarrassed to order another one. Then I went out for a few minutes and went into the store and asked the store: Did you just see a girl who looked like me? The stall owner said: I recognize, she left five minutes ago. My girlfriend said, "Well, she's my twin sister, and she's bringing me a meal." Stall owner: Don't pretend anymore, I recognize you!

4. The same table did not seriously study the text. After class, the teacher said to him, "Hey, you can't understand the text!" Well, let's copy this text ten times. The next day, the same table handed the copied text to the teacher. The teacher looked at it and asked, "What, you only copied it five times?" Table mate: "Huh?" Teacher, you say yourself, 'Let's copy the text ten times.' Then it should be me copying five times, and you copying five times. ”

5. A few days after my wife and I got married, my mother-in-law became pregnant and gave birth to a little daughter. Now my sister-in-law is in kindergarten, and recently my mother-in-law often found a piece of meat in her pocket when she washed her clothes. Because it was hot, it was a little smelly, so the mother-in-law called out to the sister-in-law and asked why the meat was packed. The sister-in-law is very aggrieved: the kindergarten every day stir-fry vegetables put fat meat pieces, the teacher does not let picky eaters, Xiaomei does not like to eat meat are given to me, I have eaten tired of these two days, so I put on my pants pocket and take it home!

6, met a beautiful woman on the Internet, at first I thought her photo was a network map, but then added a V letter. I clicked into her circle of friends to see, all of them are beautiful and shiny self-pai pictures. I didn't expect the beautiful woman to look so beautiful, and I fell into it all at once. I chuckled and said, "What do you think I'm like to be your boyfriend?" Beauty said: You are like a joke! I immediately became serious: I was serious. Beauty: I said that the self-pai photos in your circle of friends are like a joke!

7, just paid today, thinking of treating yourself, I went to a nearby Western restaurant to have a meal. But what I didn't expect was that I met my ex-girlfriend, and she came straight to me: Why are you here? I took a small sip of steak, drank a sip of red wine, wiped my mouth with a tissue, and replied: This kind of place, I often come, and I can't spend much money. Just then, the store manager came over and said, "I'm sorry sir, you just sat at this lady's table, and the steak you just ate is also the rest of what she ate!"

8, two days ago, I saw that the people on the TV were holding car keys to pick up my sister, so I bought a Ferrari car key style lighter online. When I went to the bar after work for a drink, I deliberately took out the key and threw it on the table. Then all kinds of beautiful girls will come over to talk, all kinds of ambiguity. When I had had enough of playing drunk, a sister pestered me and simply took it home. When I got to the door, my sister asked: Brother, what about our car? I said very calmly: drinking and never driving, let's take the bus back!

9. My son is 3 years old, and when he reaches the age of kindergarten, I took him to register yesterday. My son suddenly asked the teacher, "Teacher, do you have a boyfriend?" The teacher smiled and said, "No, are you going to introduce me to a boyfriend?" Then the son turned to me and said, "Mom, let's introduce my uncle to this teacher, and we will have a relative in the kindergarten in the future!" ”

10, this morning when I was unwell, so I took a leave of absence to go to the pharmacy to get medicine, there were a lot of people at that time, they were in line, and suddenly I felt that someone slapped me from behind, so I looked back and found that it was two sisters. One of them smiled at me and said, "I'm sorry, I recognized the wrong person..." I looked back and ignored it, but it seemed to hear one of them say, "Isn't that handsome?" ”

11. During the summer vacation, I was about to grow hair at home, and I found my brother and said to him: I have discovered a big secret! The buddy looked at me with a silly look on his face and said, "You didn't take the wrong medicine today, did you?" I said, "Don't blame me for not being righteous, I've found a way to travel through time." The buddy was shocked and said: I went, how did you find out? I said proudly that I often stayed up late and went to ask the doctor, who said that I would stay up for another two years and be in the coffin!

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