1, go out to run Didi at night, pull a beautiful girl, after getting on the car she said: "Brother, run casually!" "I said girl, let's dodi, not rent. The girl was arrogant: "Brother, I am not bad."

1, go out to run Didi at night, pull a beautiful girl, after getting on the car she said: "Brother, run casually!" "I said girl, let's dodi, not rent. The girl was arrogant: "Brother, I am not bad for money, just run, just listen to me!" I immediately got angry, pulled the girl along the city wall, and an hour later, I kindly reminded: "Sister, 300!" The girl looked at it and said, "Brother, are you taking a detour?" You pull from the south gate of the city wall to my goose pagoda, how can you have so much money? I suddenly became vigilant: "Sister, you said to run casually." The girl was not pleased, and said, "If you can prove that I said that, I will marry you!" "I said I couldn't prove it, count me unlucky, I don't want money." The girl was anxious: "Brother, Didi Car recorded the whole process, you check ah, must have said, you check it and you will know!" "I'm getting more and more vigilant, even if I paste 300 upside down, it can't prove it, do you say I did the right thing?"

2. When a prisoner is about to be executed, the executioner suddenly runs up to the prisoner and whispers, "Brother, can I ask you something?" The prisoner said, "What's the matter, do you want me to give a word to your dead relative?" Policeman: "No, no, no, your brother before me has already done this for me!" This time it was like this, I forgot to wear contact lenses, and when the gun is fired, please aim your head at the muzzle of the gun! ”。。。。 (The story takes place abroad)

3, the cousin chased the flight attendant for two years, the flight attendant still ignored her love, this day suddenly sent a WeChat to the cousin: "Is there time?" The cousin said, "Empty, what's wrong?" The flight attendant said: "Can you send me 2,000 yuan, I am in a hurry." The cousin immediately sent it over, and then asked: "What, what do you want the red envelope for?" The flight attendant replied in seconds: "Buy AJ for my boyfriend to wear." ”

4, today back to the mother's home to see the daughter, the car to the train and then to the taxi, after twelve o'clock in the morning to the mother's home. When I got out of the car, I heard someone calling me, and it turned out to be my mother! I immediately burst into tears, so late, my mother actually picked me up outside. I ran over and took my mother's hand and was about to express my feelings. Mom said: Today's hand is too skimpy, and I lost hundreds of more, I originally wanted to fight for a while, they all have to go back to sleep.

5) I once asked a friend, and I asked, "How fragile is the love between you and your boyfriend?" She said, "Actually, it's nothing, but as soon as I take off my makeup, he doesn't want to see me again." It startled me a lot, and I asked, "Then how did you respond?" She replied, "When we were together, I never removed my makeup. "Hahaha, that's embarrassing!

6. The in-laws who are over 50 years old decided to practice trumpet and went to the hospital for IVF surgery. I felt very curious, so I asked my mother-in-law: Mom, you are so old, why do you have to have a second child! The mother-in-law said: I see that many people around me have given birth to a second child. I suddenly realized: So you are also moved?? The mother-in-law shook her head: No, let me tell you the truth, I am mainly blind to those months of maternity leave.

7, the girlfriend is the entertainment industry eighteen-line star big name, I dare not propose in front of her face. Only dare to go far beyond the operation on the phone, test it, and it is not so ugly to be unsuccessful. After the phone call, I said: Honey, my family has been demolished and lost 30 million, will you marry me? Girlfriend: Sure, my dear, where are you? I'll go find you now!"

8. My cousin went to school at Shandong University, talked about a boyfriend in college, and has been together for more than 2 years. A few days ago, my cousin's boyfriend took her home, and after understanding, my aunt was very opposed. Because the conditions in the young man's home are not very good, the aunt does not agree, and the cousin does not obey and says that he does not marry! But the aunt was angry. The aunt said that the poor boy would not come to the door to propose marriage with a dowry of half a million, so she asked her cousin to become a nun. Alas, the poor boy is an office worker, only four or five thousand yuan a month, let him take fifty thousand is difficult, and take half a million? So I came up with an idea and asked the boy to write a contract, saying that he would pay fifty thousand a year and pay ten years in installments. My aunt agreed, let me be the guarantor, the poor boy will come to me without paying back, I said yes. Finally I wrote my uncle's name on the contract guarantor!?

9. A man rejoices with his friends for three days in a row and spends his entire salary. The angry wife scolded for nearly an hour. Then ask him: What do you think if you don't see me for three days in a row? He replied: I feel good. Monday passed and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday also passed, and he still didn't see his wife. By Thursday, the swelling had subsided a bit, and he could barely see his wife a little from the corner of his left eye.

10. The brother-in-law works in Haidilao and is favored by his 40-year-old female boss. Later, the brother-in-law could not resist her crazy pursuit and married her. When the bride was picked up on the wedding day, a large group of bridesmaids coaxed around the brother-in-law after asking for the red envelope. I don't know who took the head first, shouting: kiss one, kiss one! The brother-in-law blushed, with a nervous look. At this time, the bride was a little upset and said to her brother-in-law: Why don't you kiss yet? The brother-in-law scratched his head and said: So many bridesmaids want me to kiss, I haven't considered which one to kiss first... Oops, instant worship!

11. On Children's Day this year, my dad paid three hundred dollars to the youngest niece in the family. My dad said: Today's Children's Day, nothing else will be given to you, what you like to buy yourself! I grumbled next to me: I haven't seen any gifts, isn't today also my holiday? Before my father could speak, my mother scolded: What gift do you want, I have spent several Women's Day at your age!?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #