1, the brother-in-law is 40 years old, very rich, is a billionaire! The last time I had a drink with my brother-in-law, I asked my brother-in-law: "Brother-in-law, you don't go to work every day, why are you so rich?" ”

1, the brother-in-law is 40 years old, very rich, is a billionaire! The last time I had a drink with my brother-in-law, I asked my brother-in-law: "Brother-in-law, you don't go to work every day, why are you so rich?" The brother-in-law said: "Alas, it was in 2007, when I was just a small contractor, taking more than a dozen people to work at the Shanghai construction site, and then things on the construction site gradually became familiar." I couldn't wait to ask, "And then you're fighting?" The brother-in-law slapped me on the back of the head and said: "Don't interject, then I took over a construction site, after the matter was done, the developer did not have money to check out the house at that time, the house was cheap, the black-hearted developer took 20 suites in Pudong, Shanghai mortgaged to me, and then the house price rose sharply, I had money!" ”

2. I am the workshop director of Foxconn No. 5 workshop, and I am 23 years old this year. Usually, I don't have any special hobbies, and I like to eat fritters at the door. It was almost 8 o'clock in the night shift, and the street fritter seller had not yet come, so I could only call him. The eldest brother said over there: Labor has sold fritters for so many years, it has always been free, since I met you, I actually have the feeling of going to work!

3, I was an accountant in a company, at noon overtime, there was no meal, hard to be hungry until the afternoon, after work I rushed into a noodle restaurant. Eating well, a big man with a big waist and a round waist came in. After he sat down, he said that he wanted a bowl of beef noodles, and the owner of the noodle shop asked him: "Big brother, do you want a big bowl or a small bowl??" The big man asked curiously, "How big is the big bowl?" The boss pointed at me and said, "This girl ordered a large bowl of beef noodles." The big man looked at it for a moment, then said, "I can't eat it, so you better bring me a small bowl." ”

4, the man found that he was green, a sad, looking for his brother to come out to drink. Man: That mother-in-law greened me! Brother: How did you find out? Man: The mother-in-law is pregnant, brother: Isn't that a good thing? Man: The problem is that I am congenital infertile Brother comfort: don't be sad, this is not buy one get one free! The man thought it made sense, but he was still drunk. Until the next day when I woke up and called my brother: that's right! Giveaway I want! But I'm going to do that adulterer too!" The brother hung up the phone silently, packed up his bags, and booked the plane for the night?

5, the festival to the manager's family gifts with two Chinese, and two bottles of Maotai, the manager is very warm to invite me to sit down. However, I have been not good at words and sat down to chat for a few words, which was a bit cold, so I quit. Before leaving, the boss's son watched me leave with expectant eyes. As a result, I went downstairs and found that I didn't have my mobile phone, so I went back. Just heard the boss's son ask: Dad, this uncle is usually very stupid, right? Boss: How do you see that? Boss son: All cold, I don't know to ask my results, I scored 100 points this time!

6. Some time ago, the company arranged for me to inspect the construction progress and quality of the suburban construction site. At that time, I was in a hurry to go out, forgot to light a cigarette, and there was no supermarket in the place where the bird did not pull SHI. I crouched on the side of the road looking for a car to borrow a cigarette, and a Mercedes-Benz came in the distance, and as soon as I reached out, I stopped. I went up and asked the driver: Big brother, the addiction is coming, can you give me a cigarette? The driver's big brother was very enthusiastic and took a bag of large gold bricks for me, and I opened and smoked a few. I took a hundred sheets to the owner and said thank you ha. The eldest brother said urgently: Do I look like I am selling cigarettes? You mean to say you're rich, right? Smoke sent you! After saying that, he threw the money out of the window and left...

7. Today, overtime lunch in the unit canteen, I finished the meal, took the lunch past the goddess's table, asked her: "Do you want chicken legs?" The goddess glanced at me, "Don't! So I took the chicken leg from her plate, and Gorgeous Li di turned and left, leaving the goddess in the wind messy.

8. When a local tycoon was drinking in a bar, he met a beautiful girl. The two people knew each other for half a month and then got married with a license. After getting married, the sister said to the local tycoon: "Husband, there is one thing I have been hiding from you, and we will have to send a child support every month in the future, because I have a child to raise." The local tycoon said generously: "It's okay wife, I also have something that I haven't told you, and we will receive a child support every month in the future, because I also have a child to raise." ”

9. Walking in the park and seeing a child eating marshmallows on a bench is particularly happy. Seeing that he was cute, I teased him and said, "Little friend, is it okay to give your uncle something to eat?" "I didn't expect him to give it all to me, and I instantly felt that his character was so good." The kid turned and left, and 5 minutes later he came with his dad. The bear child said, "He robbed me of my things." ”

10, my girlfriend is in school at Peking University, and yesterday I bought her an apple 12 and took it. Driving the Maserati to the door, I saw a boy blocking his girlfriend at the door. The boy says to his girlfriend: Whoever bullies you, I will protect you! I laughed, then went up and grabbed my girlfriend's shoulder and said, "Yo, the chick is so pretty!" The bear boy looked at me, threw up his legs and ran! Didn't my boyfriend just say protect you when I said that boy? Then I heard a lot of footsteps, and when I looked back, twenty or thirty bear children came to me, and I ran away!

11, the company's recent funds are relatively tight, the female boss just came out of the bathroom did not pay attention to the fall, I rushed over. She said breathlessly, "Why didn't you fall to your death, you don't have to send you money when you fall to your death." "I looked pitiful, and gave her the only twenty-eight dollars in my pocket. Aunt Janitor sighed and said, "You really look like pure love." As a result, the cleaning aunt directly transferred 8,000,000 yuan to the company account in front of us. On the day of the wedding, I learned that it was my daughter-in-law's aunt. Looking back, how did I feel calculated? Will the escapee be beaten?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #