1, there is a young woman living upstairs, and she and I have a good feeling for each other, but we have not broken the window paper. One night, I was watching TV at home when I suddenly received a text message from the young woman upstairs, only two words, save me! I was shocked and didn't know what had happened to her. I dialed her cell phone, only to find that it was turned off, so I ran straight upstairs and knocked desperately on her door, but no one responded for half a day. I thought to myself that she didn't know if she was at home or not, didn't know what was going on? I thought about it for a while and decided to pry the lock and go inside to see what was going on, but I wouldn't pry the lock either, so I pulled out my phone and made a phone call to find my ex-wife, because she had the contact information of the person who pried the lock! The phone rang and my ex-wife coldly asked me what was going on? I asked her if she could send me the contact details of the person who had picked the lock, and she sneered and said, Why should I give it to you? I have nothing to do with you, you go find someone else! I was in a hurry, saying that I was saving people, let her stop making trouble, and quickly give me the contact information!
2, the man sneaked into a rich family in the middle of the night, knocked the man unconscious with a wooden stick, and then carried out a crazy sweep, and when he was ready to leave, he suddenly heard the shouting in the bathroom: "I'm washed, you come in!" So the man moved evil thoughts and rushed into the bathroom, the man can never forget, in the bathroom, his wife saw his surprised expression.
3. The village chief was tied to a tree by thieves. The thief found nothing of value in the village chief's house. The village chief's wife said: He is worth the same thing. The village chief was angry and said that you are talking nonsense, don't say that I am so poor, I am very rich. The thief asked: The most valuable person is my wife, you still arrest her and tie her up. She knows what's going on. Only to see the thief quickly tie up the wife of the village chief. Only to hear a scream as usual when wronged. Soon the villagers arrived. The thief was curious: Why did you villagers come to see it at the first time, why? The village chief laughed and said, "As soon as my husband and wife fight, she will shout." I was all here to see what I had been beaten into.
4. As a team leader at Foxconn, I have a good relationship with a female colleague, and we can both say anything! That night, she lay in bed and asked me: Which girl do you like in our unit?" Then I told her directly. Female colleagues said: Like why not confess? What if it succeeds! I said: Will you say yes if I confess to you? Her: I... We don't fit in. Me: If you can't look up to me, she's even less likely. This is good, she will ignore me!
5, one of the front desk of the company is very good-looking, there are two colleagues are pursuing her. The two argued, and finally started to move directly. The boss quickly stopped and shouted: Everyone works in an office, what can't be said well? Why do you still want to do it? Give me a good job! Fortunately, both of them were reasonable people, and they immediately shook hands and apologized to each other. The manager was satisfied with putting down the keyboard in his hand!
6, the old man bought a two-color plant for a large amount of money, and the brother who got the bonus one thing was to buy a villa. Later, I went to the Audi 4s store to pick up a Pike Peak, and the little life was leisurely. In the evening, the mother-in-law said to the father-in-law: If you divorce me because of other women, the house must belong to me, the car must belong to me, and the monthly salary will be half of it, until I find the next home. After the old man listened, he happily agreed. Then he asked rhetorically: What if you get a divorce because of you? The mother-in-law immediately said: Don't worry, I will definitely find a special rich one, and then come back to support you! The old man listened, and immediately his eyes lit up: What are you waiting for, hurry up and find it!
7. When I came home for the Chinese New Year this year, my brother asked me to send him a red envelope, and if I didn't send it, he cried with me. I first sent 30 red envelopes in one go, the 31st was 200 yuan, and then I sent 30 in a row. As a result, my brother did not have patience for a long time, took a few found that they were one point, they did not receive it, the next day I returned more than two hundred to my account, I screenshot to show him, he has 100,000 regrets.
8, is going to work, girlfriend sent me a message: "Come out to accompany me to shop - in the afternoon, in the evening hot pot I invite guests!" "I immediately took a hot towel to warm my head, and then quickly ran to the chairman's office. I said, "Boss, I have a cold and a fever, can I ask you for an afternoon off?" The chairman laughed when he heard it: "Who are you lying to? Colds belong to respiratory diseases, you talk like an old hen laying eggs, croaking, where does the cold come from?? Next time pretend to be sick don't say cold, say stomach pain I believe!! I could only stretch out my head and say, "If you don't believe it, you will wipe it." ”
9. The local tycoon drove a Bentley on a country road, and was rear-ended by a tricycle of a tattered old man. When the local tycoon got out of the car, he scraped off a piece of paint on the tail. He was silent for a while, and in order to make the old man remember a little longer, he said: In this way, you will lose 30 yuan. The old man was also silent: young man, 30 yuan can buy a large bucket of paint, enough to spray you a car, you can't blackmail people!?
10, do not know what the reason, the brother-in-law is particularly afraid of his wife. I couldn't look at it and said, "Brother, why are you so afraid of your daughter-in-law?" The brother-in-law did not speak. I said: You live too much this day, brother tomorrow to introduce you to a gym, you go to play sandbags, just beat your wife, out of breath. The next day the gym coach called me: Your brother-in-law is all right, they have been kneeling in front of the sandbags for an afternoon.
11. When I first went to Tsinghua University, I fell in love with the beautiful rich woman professor of our school. Once, when I came out to a party with my roommates, I drank a little too much, and I was encouraged to confess to the rich woman. The rich woman didn't say anything, she just wanted my medical report. After marriage, I learned that her ex died because she was very sick and very young, so I would let me give her a medical examination report, it seems that in the future I will pay attention to exercise!
#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #
![In 2021, there was a lady Ning Shunhua who filed for divorce 5 times in 5 years, but the first 4 times were rejected and was on the hot search. Her state in marriage is the object of being PUA.[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)