◇ My wife went abroad, there are only two people left in the family, my mother-in-law is 48 years old this year, looks still charming, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, my father-in-law

◇ My wife went abroad, there are two people left in the family, my mother-in-law is 48 years old, looks still charming, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, my mother-in-law is in a company as a financial director, the ability is very outstanding, the income is also very high, so there are many bachelors who want to pursue my mother-in-law. But because my wife was not happy that her mother would find a stepfather for herself, she has always opposed her mother's remarriage. This time my wife went abroad, and many bachelors felt that there was an opportunity, and they all flocked to my house to propose to my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law was embarrassed to face such a scene, so she asked my son-in-law to come forward for her. In the end, I worked out of the shadows, selected the chairman of our company, and let him and my mother-in-law come together. Our chairman promised me that when he retired, the whole company would be taken care of by me. I'm so witty!

◇ The wife took maternity leave for half a year, and was inexplicably fired from the factory. After his wife was well raised, she went to work in a food factory. After working for a few days, my wife was promoted to the director of the workshop. When I got home, I said, "Look how capable your wife is, you are really discerning!" I said, "Well, it's really good, my wife is a pig (pig)." "My wife punched me and punched me. I burst out laughing, "Oh, wrong, wrong, my wife is Pearl (real pig)!" ”

◇ My daughter-in-law, who had been ligating for many years, suddenly became pregnant, and I did not hesitate to divorce my daughter-in-law. Heartbroken, I was ready to go to Yunnan by myself, I first went to the wholesale market to buy a batch of small trinkets worth three yuan and four cents, and began my Yunnan self-driving tour. Use navigation to walk less high-speed, county by county, live in the cheapest hotel, meals can be eaten on the line, trinkets sell for five yuan a, played this for three months, and now also earned more than three thousand yuan ...

◇ On a business trip to a hotel, I was taking a shower in the bathroom, when suddenly a woman broke in and opened the door of my bathroom. She stared at me, I stared at him, we both looked at each other, the air was frozen, only the water of the lotus head was rushing down!

She turned away with an exclamation. I was so ashamed that I said out loud, Who are you? How did you break into my room?

She explained with her back to me, I came to stay in the hotel, but the front desk lady did not know where to run, there was no one, I was in a hurry, I really couldn't help it, I found a room card in the front desk, and directly came in.

I listened to her pitifully, and my heart couldn't help but soften. I told her to wait for me for a minute, then hurriedly rinsed off her body, got dressed, and went out. She saw me coming out of the bathroom and rushed in, not even closing the bathroom door. I sighed and walked over to help her close the door.

◇ One night I drunk taxi back to the public security department, the fare is 18 yuan, give the driver 50 yuan, the driver sees me drunk, he asks me for 2 yuan, I will be drunk to see the driver, the driver asked me: How much do you give me? I said 100 yuan, and the driver immediately said: Obviously it is 50 yuan. I looked at him again, and he looked for 30 bucks. I was still drunk and misty looking at him, and after an hour the driver cried, I thought that I had time anyway, just when the car woke up drunk, the provincial home wife did not open the door and was scolded!

◇ The man bent down, looked at the girl with a gentle face, and asked in a low voice, "Did you go in?" ”...... The girl said: "Go in, dear"..." Will it hurt, is the shoe the right size? ”...... The man whispered. The lady at the counter next to her said, "This man is so gentle, you are so blessed"...

"Exactly, not crowded at all..." The woman glanced at the counter lady and responded happily...

"Do you want to move and see, is it comfortable?" The man said thoughtfully.

The woman moved and replied happily, "Oh! Great, I've never worn such comfortable shoes, this is the first time, you see it soft and hard, the size is just right, this feeling is really wonderful, such a comfortable shoe, or you bought it with me, really thank you..."

The man said casually, "Don't thank me, my dear, that's the way it should be." So, that's it, that's it! ”

The woman couldn't wait to say, "Yes! But please move faster, I can't wait, I don't have time...

Two minutes later, the counter delivered the packaged leather shoes to the hands of this young lady, and suddenly a lady took the shoes, and said coquettishly: "My husband bought me shoes and did not bring me, and I am really embarrassed to trouble the little girl to try!" While speaking, he looked at the girl next to him and smiled and said, "Yo, I'm sorry, I recognized the wrong person, I glanced at my husband and said: "I've changed people again, not the girl from last time!" ..."Said with his shoes pulled the gentle man away... The girl who left the shoe trial was messy in the wind...

The daughter-in-law was on a business trip, the sister-in-law came to the house, I asked her to go back to dinner and arrange for her to stay in the hotel and then go home, and when she arrived home, she found her daughter-in-law sitting in the living room. I was surprised: "How did you come back?" The daughter-in-law said coldly: "Fly back!" I asked happily, "Done?" "Not yet, tomorrow will pass!" "Then you ???" "My sister is here, and I don't feel safe to come back and have a look!" I was displeased: "That's your sister, what do you have to worry about, I'm not that kind of person!" The daughter-in-law sneered, "You said the same thing to my sister back then..."

◇ A rich second generation went on a blind date, and the girl asked, "Do you have a sports car?" The rich second generation scratched his head: "This is not true, my family only has SUVs" The girl scornfully said: "Then you are still a rich second generation, let's forget it." Out of the door, the girl saw Fu Er Dai walking straight to a Maserati sports car and the girl ran over breathlessly, and said, "Hate, don't you mean you don't have a sports car, what is this!" Fu Er Dai said, "Isn't this just an SUV?" The girl looked at him, suddenly realized, shook her head and walked home, the girl's mother scolded: "Are you stupid, the rich second generation you still can't see, what do you want." The girl said helplessly: "You just say that his height, look at the car is an SUV, I don't want to be with him." "