1, the husband went to take a shower, and a female friend on his mobile phone sent a message: What are you doing? On a whim, I replied: I was thinking of you. The other person said: Really? I think it's boring, just go back

1, the husband went to take a shower, and a female friend on his mobile phone sent a message: What are you doing? On a whim, I replied: I was thinking of you. The other person said: Really? I felt bored, so I replied: I sent the message just now, I am his wife. The other party seconds back: Great! I wondered: Huh? What's too good? The other party said: While they are not there, let's talk for a while, right? I'm her husband!

2. My cousin went to high school this year, and the relationship with her male classmates was discovered by her uncle and aunt, who forced her to break up. Today she came to me to cry, and I was curious and asked how I knew? The cousin said that the two went on a date, ate crayfish with their boyfriends, and took a screenshot to the circle of friends, saying that they ate four pounds of crayfish in an hour, right? Then, her parents asked who skinned her shrimp...

3. There is a new hot spring pool near my house, and my girlfriend will take me with me after she knows it. There is food and drink in the hot spring, one accidentally plays in the middle of the night, and there is no car on the road. Just let her stay at my house. As a result, this poor child had leg cramps in the middle of the night, and she was still pumping on both legs together, and in pain, she rolled down the window and crawled to my room to ask for help! Just after climbing into the living room, my dad heard a noise and went up the window to find out. What came into view was a shawl-clad, hideous-looking girl crawling on the ground. If I hadn't turned on the lights early, my dad would have had a heart attack!

4, blind date to eat a meal, the girl has already vomited three times... The boy said, "Are you unwell?" Or is the dish unappetizing??? The girl said calmly: "I will confirm with you again, is the Bentley at the door yours?" Boy: "Yes! Girl: "Okay, so let's keep eating!?"

5. Junior high school dropout technology, now completed, loan 100,000 to open their own stores. On this day, when I went on a blind date, the woman asked, "What industry are you in?" I said, "It's IT and communications peripheral services." The woman asked, "Can you be specific?" I added: "Intelligent high-end digital communication equipment touch screen surface polymer compound linear processing." The woman was angry: "Can you be popular?" I smiled and said, "Hey, wrap." ”

6. During the New Year, the buddies came to play with two cartons of milk. Remembering the two cartons of milk, I quickly took it out to drink, daughter-in-law: This is still 2 days to expire, this milk or don't drink, poisonous! I didn't care about this, I unwrapped a packet and drank it. Just as I was drinking milk, my son kept looking at me, me: See what I do? Son: Mom said this milk is poisonous and will die if you drink it, I'll see when you die.

7, I took my son to the hospital to fill his teeth, when the doctor repeatedly stroked a fine needle at the tooth decay, he cried and tore his lungs... After making up the payment, the son wiped away his tears and quietly said: "Mom, that female doctor is a little fierce, but I think she looks quite beautiful!" "After paying the fee to get the medical record book, I relayed my son's words to the doctor, and the female doctor was happy to close her mouth." At this time, my son came and said: "Auntie, just now you are really beautiful wearing a mask... How do you get rid of the mask now? "This bear child... Thankfully, the teeth have been mended!

8. Five years after graduating from college, several people in the dormitory have been married. Once I went out to dinner, the brothers drank a little too much. One of the buddies said: You are so handsome, why don't you find a beautiful daughter-in-law? Another buddy replied: Pretty didn't look at me. This buddy asked: You said that you are not handsome, why is your daughter-in-law so beautiful? The dude replied: I didn't look at it!

9. The mother introduced a flight attendant in Tomson's one product to her single cousin, and the cousin went on a blind date. After meeting, the cousin said to go to dinner, and the woman said: Just eat it. Then I went to a very ordinary beef noodle restaurant to eat noodles, and my cousin thought that this girl must be good, very simple! Later, they got along for several months, and every time the sister took her cousin to the noodle restaurant to eat noodles, the cousin was also very happy, anyway, cheap and affordable, he could eat enough. But then my cousin finally learned that this beef noodle restaurant was opened by my sister's family!

10, my girlfriend has been learning to drive for two years, and finally drove the coach crazy and got a driver's license. Today she drove her husband's Porsche and took me to the sauna. Only to see her handbrake lowered, the brakes released, the gear hung up, and the throttle was stepped on. Then a look of doubt: Uh??? Why doesn't the car move??? My girlfriend turned to look at me and said, "Do you know what's going on??? I asked her with a helpless face, "Did your car catch fire??? ”

11. This afternoon, I went to meet a customer, and the customer directly handed me a Cuban cigar! I don't smoke, I want to taste what this cigar tastes like! When the customer left, I wanted to try it, but there was no lighter. Then I put my cigarette in my ear, ran to the supermarket opposite the door to buy a lighter, and when I came back, I found that the cigar had fallen off...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #