1, take a good bath with my wife at night, ready to go to bed together, this time it is already more than 10 o'clock in the middle of the night, my wife quietly said to me. Husband, such a wonderful night, we should do it

1, take a good bath with my wife at night, ready to go to bed together, this time it is already more than 10 o'clock in the middle of the night, my wife quietly said to me. Husband, such a beautiful night, we should do something! So I asked her, what should we do? The wife touched her stomach, smiled and said, I think we should go to a barbecue. My eyes lit up and I said approvingly, OK, I want to eat a roast pig intestine, my wife angrily patted my head and said, the pig intestine stinks to death, it is not delicious at all, I want to eat pig intestine.

2, with the boyfriend in college, now five years now, take him home today, ask the mother what she wants if she gets married. The mother said happily: Marriage is good, marriage is good, the bride price is 200,000 on the line! I listened to a shock, the mother is really cruel, ready to help the boyfriend bargain Mom paused, and then said: In case not, 20 is OK, your happiness is the most important! I...... 20 bucks, too much drama! Looking at the boyfriend's flattered expression, ready to let the mother raise the price again...

3. The old man retired from PetroChina and had a pension of 18,000 yuan per month. He immediately took his mother-in-law and brother-in-law to travel abroad, and heard that he had climbed the mountain. Today, when the old man's family returned, I found that his nose was blue and his face was swollen. I asked what was going on, and he said: I saw a little squirrel in the mountains, and then I took out the slingshot in my pocket, but your brother-in-law said sternly, Dad, put your slingshot on me, the little animal is also alive! If my mother died, wouldn't you be sad too? I couldn't help laughing for a moment, and I was beaten by your mother-in-law! Well, well deserved!

4. The little uncle dropped out of school when he finished the sixth grade, and now he can only go to Shunf as a courier. The beautiful female supervisor chased after him, and the two had recently been married. Last night to the little uncle's house as a guest, taking advantage of his kung fu to go to the bathroom, I asked his wife, there were so many people chasing her back then, why did you choose my little uncle? His wife said that among so many people chasing her, he didn't snore! After listening to my heart warm, I didn't expect happiness to be so simple!

5, play WeChat to meet a girl, sweet look, let me be very moved. That night, just after arriving home from work, I received a video chat application from my sister. I excitedly opened the video and looked at the girl in her pajamas, and I was suddenly excited. She was chatting, and suddenly a big aunt appeared behind her, and the girl immediately disconnected... After about five or six minutes, the sister called again, and I laughed and laughed at her: You are such a big person, and you are actually afraid that your mother will take care of you! Just after saying that, the sister suddenly looked at it carefully and said: "Shhh, that's my mother-in-law!?

6, take the little niece to play, the car squeezed panting are difficult, the little niece is squeezed can not stand the shouting: little aunt, are you eating too much sweet potatoes, I heard your stomach grunting, it is estimated that you are about to fart. After saying this, the people around me covered their noses and hid back, and the little girl took a deep breath: Oh, just almost squeezed me to death.

7, my girlfriend is very gentle, but the future mother-in-law is very snobbish and looks down on the poor! I simply took out all the money in my card, asked my father for 80w, and bought a Land Rover. This day just arrived at the girlfriend's house, the future mother-in-law can't wait to ask: "Boy, what is the car?" Me: "Auntie good, opened the Land Rover." The future mother-in-law: "You go, you and my daughter are not suitable." I was confused: "Why?" The future mother-in-law: "I only know Mercedes-Benz, BMW, you haven't heard of this car, you have no money when you look at it." ”

8. After lunch, I washed pots in the kitchen, my son was writing homework in the study, and my husband was playing with his mobile phone on the sofa. After a while, I heard a loud purring sound coming from the living room, and my son said dissatisfactorily: My father is asleep again, and I said: What do you care about him, people have stable jobs, there are houses and cars, there are wives and children, you still have nothing, and you still don't seriously write your homework. The son did not say a word, and soon there was a rustling sound of writing in the study.

9, found a boyfriend in Futukang, did not expect that he is a rich second generation, should not be ah in Futukang to work are some poor treasures. I followed my boyfriend home and his mother threw me a check: "Give you 2 million, leave my son." I said with a serious face, "But we are true love." She hesitated: "How to prove it?" I said, "Add another 2 million!" ”

10, I only found a girlfriend when I was 30 years old, I decided to take my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My parents and I called to take my girlfriend home, and when I was about to get home, my girlfriend suddenly had a stomachache and wanted to go to the toilet, and I said: Go to my house. Girlfriend: No, the first time you go to your house, going to the toilet will leave a bad impression on your parents. I had to let her go to the toilet first, go home first, holding my girlfriend's dog in my hand, I knocked on the door, my mother saw that my whole face turned white, stunned for half a day and said: Can you find someone?

11, blind date to know the wife, after marriage "Voldemort" personality was completely exposed, do not work, three days and two ends of the family with the things to run to the mother's house. I also recognized for the sake of the child, but recently my brother-in-law wanted to get married, and I didn't expect that my wife would take all the family's savings to buy him a house without telling me. After I knew about it, I had a big fight with her, and finally my daughter-in-law got angry and planned to run away from home, so I ignored it and continued to watch TV. She packed her bags and pulled them to the door, then went to the bedroom to get her things. When I came out, I found that the luggage at the door was missing. The daughter-in-law said coquettishly: "If you don't want people to walk in, just say it, why hide your luggage?" I was just about to open my mouth when my son and daughter came in from outside and said, "Mom, why don't you leave, the luggage is helping you downstairs." ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #