1, today with the wife in the mall to see a bag, the wife to take a look, the salesman said coldly: 38888 yuan, do not buy do not touch, touch dirty can not afford to lose. As soon as I heard it, I got angry and said

1, today with the wife in the mall to see a bag, the wife to take a look, the salesman said coldly: 38888 yuan, do not buy do not touch, touch dirty can not afford to lose. I listened to it and got angry, said "Wrap it up for me, don't touch it with your hands, touch it dirty, I don't want it, the salesman's face is green, busy with gloves to pack the bag, invoice, I asked where to pay the money, the waiter said, you go forward, I take the ticket, hang out of the mall gate, her grandmother's, no money!" I'm willful without money!??

2. The final exam results have been released, and the students return to school to receive the results. The teacher took a pile of test papers, walked into the classroom and said, "In view of the poor results of this exam in our class, the results of this semester will be added to the whole class by five points." The class was filled with cheers, and then the teacher said: "There are 50 people in our class, and the whole class adds five points divided by 50, which is equivalent to 0.1 points per person, and rounding is not calculated." "Next, the class was dead silent...

3, the sister-in-law's boyfriend is a scumbag, driving the BMW 7 series she bought. After the sister-in-law did not have a car, she could only take the bus to work. Today in the car, the sister-in-law was squeezed into the arms of a boy. At first, the sister-in-law was not very embarrassed, but after a long time, she slowly became a habit. The sister-in-law put her head close to the boy's arms and said, "This bus has been sitting for half a month, and every time it has been squeezed into your arms, do you believe in fate?" The boy said calmly: "I don't believe in fate, I only know to rent a bus 500, more than 80 extras, 70 per person, so I only believe in money." ”

4. My sister-in-law and my wife are twins, and when they were young, they were often beaten by their husbands together. One day, the sister-in-law asked the old man, "Why do we two people always have to be beaten together when we make mistakes alone?" The old man took a puff of his cigarette and replied, "As long as I beat one, the other one always hides and laughs, I always think I'm wrong, let's beat it together!" ”

5. I remember that my junior high school had a father at the same table who was our principal. He didn't want to be bored in school every day, he wanted to play with the young people in society. As he was leaving, he begged me to help him write a fake note. I made up a reason at random: My grandfather died, go home and see. As a result, the next morning, the class teacher informed the other teachers to take a wreath and go to the principal's house...

6, my dad likes to drink, when I was a child, I always helped my dad to go to the wine, every time he went to the wine, he would give 3 yuan. And I would spend 5 cents on some snacks, get two or five dollars left for my dad to drink, and then go home and pour some water. That day, after drinking at his friend's house, my dad said, "This wine is good, much better than the XX. My dad friend: "This wine is sold by X.X. "My dad didn't believe it and bet on losing ten pounds of wine. That night, you guess I was beaten for days without going out of the window.

7, my little name is little monkey, is like to bounce around. In the village is also known for being naughty. I'm very good at climbing trees, and it seems like monkeys, and I go up with a little sneaking up. Every time my father tried to hit me, I hid in a tree and waited until it calmed down. I felt smart. Because I stayed in the tree for a long time, before going up the tree, I ran to the kitchen to pick up a cake and then went up... Then the tree was sawn, and I was much more honest.

8, in the 4S store as a sales, this month took 4 million commissions to accompany his girlfriend to buy Louis Vuitton's bag. I entered the store with my girlfriend and saw a limited-edition bag that sold for 6.6 yuan. I thought I was wrong, thinking that this bag was so cheap. So I took a few bags to check out, and when I checked out, the boss said 660 million. I was very puzzled and asked: Isn't it 6.6 yuan a bag? The boss wiped the glass, and I found that the decimal point of 6.6 yuan was a dead fly stuck to it and there were 6 zeros behind it, and I also missed it!

9. Although I studied at Harvard for four years, my English was particularly poor. After graduating from university, I enrolled in a language training institution. On the first day of work, I accompanied a foreign teacher to class, and wanted to remind the foreign teacher to turn the mobile phone to vibrate. I smiled and said to the teacher, "Please make your telephone buzz, don't have to ring the bell." The most crucial thing is that the foreign teacher actually understood...

10. The wife accidentally saw that her husband had a "wife" stored in her mobile phone, but the number was not her. She didn't want a divorce, so she called back to her husband behind her back, hoping to save the relationship. When the phone was connected, the voice of a stout, mature male uncle came, and she cried, feeling that she had been deceived more seriously. But what she didn't know was that there was another class of people in the world, and their surname was Po.

11. After marrying my wife, my mother-in-law gave me 6 million pocket money. Tonight, while my mother-in-law was not at home, I drove her Ferrari to the bar. I took out a bank card and shouted, "Tonight I pay the bill, everyone is not drunk." All the guests were stunned, and then they cheered and threw envious glances at me one by one. At this time, several beautiful women came over to offer their hospitality. I smiled, pulled out my bank card again, and said, "Clothes and bags, swipe casually." I was laughing triumphantly when I was suddenly slapped hard. The wife who was sitting next to her scolded: "In the daytime, what daydreams do you do, hurry up and sweep the floor." ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #