Xiye, a LOL pro, asked the abbot: "Master, why did Jackey Love play in the LPL for a year to win the world championship, while I did it from 2014."

Xiye, a professional player in LOL, asked the abbot: "Master, why did Jackey Love play in the LPL for a year to win the world championship, while I have been playing in the LPL since 2014 and have not yet won a world championship?" Abbot: "Don't compare yourself with others, some people come early with luck, some people come late, but sooner or later they will come." Xiye: "Then how long will I have?" The abbot did not speak, and his index finger pointed to the next point: "You mean it is coming soon?" Can I win the S10? The abbot shook his head, "No, I mean the next life." ”

2. Before marriage, my mother-in-law did not look at me and did not agree to my being with her daughter. Later, at the insistence of his girlfriend, the mother-in-law also compromised, and then we got married. Today my mother-in-law came to dinner, and the two of them chatted in the living room, and I glanced at the living room from time to time when I cooked. I vaguely heard my mother-in-law say, "What is he doing?" The wife said, "He ate lightly, and put salt little by little." The mother-in-law said, "This ghost looks like he thinks he's putting arsenic." ”

3, the father-in-law and the female secretary went to socialize, and the drunk came back. He knocked on the door in confusion, and his mother-in-law saw that he had drunk too much, and said breathlessly: I have walked through the wrong door. The father-in-law listened and turned to go downstairs, and the mother-in-law, lying on the window, saw the father-in-law crouching downstairs, afraid that he was freezing, so she went downstairs to call him. When my father-in-law saw my mother-in-law, she was so aggrieved that she was about to cry, and said: I just knocked on the wrong door, and an ugly and fat aunt threw me out! Needless to say, I want to go to the hospital to see if my father-in-law's injection is finished.

4, the girlfriend remembered that tomorrow is Valentine's Day, she stole the boyfriend's leather bag, wanting to know what gift the boyfriend would give himself; turning out were eight identical greeting cards, all of which were one sentence: I only love you! The girlfriend muttered in her heart: The husband's vocabulary is also too monotonous.

5. After getting married, I obeyed my wife's orders every day, and I did not dare to disobey her meaning in the slightest. Last night, before going to bed, I saw a mosquito on my sleeping wife's face, and I slapped the mosquito in the face of her. My wife sat up and was about to hit me, and then I showed her the mosquitoes on her face, and she lay down. I lay down after an excited night without sleep, so long, I finally had a man once, and even slapped her face!

6, on the day of my friend's wedding, I went to be the best man, holding the badge of the groom's official, and at the critical time of the ceremony, the groom's officer went to the bathroom, and told me that he wanted me to top it, and I nodded. Hang the groom's badge on his chest. The celebrant began by asking, "Would you like to marry a bride?" I hesitated and remained silent. The bride shouted anxiously, "Take off my bra for me." ”

7 Mr. A was shopping in the store with one of his miserly friends when suddenly two robbers broke in and robbed, and when the robbers began to search the customers' pockets one by one, A suddenly felt his friend gently poking him and whispered, "Take this." "Don't give me a pistol, I don't want to be a hero." "Take it, I owe you twenty-five dollars."

8, Dad: "Did you talk about your girlfriend at school?" Son: "No. Dad: "Then why didn't you bring your computer back?" Son: "School is out." Dad: "Isn't it time for your girlfriend to be playing?" Son: "No, she has it herself." ”

9, the girlfriend and girlfriend go to a counter to buy lipstick. While he was paying the bill, two robbers broke in and robbed, and when the robbers began to search the customers' pockets one by one, the girlfriend's girlfriend suddenly felt that the girlfriend was gently poking him and whispered, "Take this." "Don't give me a knife, I don't want to be a hero." Girlfriend: "Take it, this is the twenty-five dollars I owe you." ”

10, because the family is poor and has no girlfriend. Unexpectedly, my hometown was suddenly demolished, and overnight I became an upstart and talked about a young and beautiful girlfriend. But then I found out that every time I was with my girlfriend, she didn't like to turn on the lights. I thought she liked this kind of black grunt romance. One day I asked her: Why do you like not to turn on the lights? But she said three words to me: Xue Zhiqian. I thought about it for half a day and didn't know what it meant

1 unit has a rich second generation, usually go to work to kill time, so often take leave. He didn't come to work again that day, but Xiao Zhangyi, a colleague who was sitting next to him, accidentally knocked the water cup on his desk to the ground. So Xiao Zhang quickly ran outside, and bought five hundred yuan exactly the same back... During small talk today, Fu Erdai pointed to the water cup and said, "I didn't think that these dozens of pieces of ground stalls are still very easy to use." ”

12, just went to the toilet forgot to bring tissue, shouted the little nephew to send me hand paper, the little fart child said that the toilet stinks and does not send, I told him that you put the bottom door crack into the line, wait for a long time only to hear the little fart child poking the door outside the door, is not to see the paper. After a while, a clear stream flowed into the toilet, floating two or three pieces of paper... Then hear the little one's excited voice: Uncle! I can't put it in, so I flushed you in with water. Am I smart? Hahaha...

13, my glasses frame nose rest is broken, take it to the store to repair, the boss lady took the frame and asked: "How much is it equipped?" I said, "More than 500!" The hostess looked dismissive: "Just this frame and lenses, I will match you with 200 in my shop." Then I silently pulled out the 550 receipt and handed it over.

14, A: "What type of boyfriend do you want to find?" B: "He has to be infinitely tolerant of me, even if it is my shortcomings, he is only a characteristic." You have to know how to appreciate me, even if I look ordinary, I must be beautiful in his eyes. A: "I'm afraid the only thing that can meet your requirements is a mobile APP with beauty function... ”