1, in order to marry the flight attendant wife, I spent 38 million yuan in Tomson Yipin to buy a house last Sunday, my father-in-law and mother-in-law came to my home to visit the decoration and looked around, suddenly saw

1, in order to marry the flight attendant wife, I spent 38 million yuan in Tomson Yipin bought a house last Sunday, my father-in-law and mother-in-law came to my home to visit the decoration and looked around, suddenly saw blood on the wall, my father-in-law asked me: "Whose blood is this?" I smoked a Chinese cigarette and casually said, "It's your daughter's." As soon as the words stopped, my mother-in-law directly slapped me twice, and my father-in-law took the kitchen knife directly from the kitchen and put it on my neck, when my wife came out of the bathroom, smiled and said, "Dad, Mom, what are you doing?" He just killed a mosquito. ”

2. This night, the daughter only cares about playing games and not eating well. I was on fire, slapping the table and yelling, "If it's not good, get out!" My wife blamed me: "Why are you so fierce?" I said sternly: "My wife coaxes other people's wives to eat, she is not good at eating, can I not be fierce?" The wife's eyes immediately revealed emotion. I was secretly proud in my heart, and it seemed that I could go to the bar again in the evening.

3. I majored in nursing in college, and there was a child from the countryside in the class, and I was particularly impressed! Especially hearing her say that her grandparents were particularly good surgeons, and the experience she had learned from her elders. One day, the class needed practical operation, and the teacher kept praising her for the excellent operation! The teacher asked her curiously: You have studied so well, do you have a family school origin? As a result, the students were amused by her answer, and she said, "Yes, my grandparents are sand pigs!"

4, the weekend rest at home and nephew to play games, and he said: as long as you win, this family thing you can choose to take away. In the end I lost, the little nephew won, just wandered around the house looking for something, looked at the game console did not seem to be much interest, at this time my girlfriend came over, he ran to hold my girlfriend's hand and said: Then I want this! How can a child like this now, I am hard to find...?"

5, every holiday to go out to play is definitely needed, I like to go back to nature. On the eleventh holiday, my colleague asked me: Where do you plan to go to play during this holiday? I said: Return to nature, find a farmyard, enjoy the fresh air, simple folk customs. Enjoy the pristine ecology of sunrise and sunset. The colleague listened with a look of envy. I wouldn't tell him that I had to go back to my hometown and harvest a few acres of corn.

6, take the initiative to break up with the rich second generation, which can be angry with the mother. After a fight with my mom, I locked myself in my room. Hungry in the afternoon, come out to forage for food. As soon as I walked to the kitchen, I found a large bowl on the table. There was also a note on the edge of the bowl, which read: "Don't be angry, your mother has left you something delicious." "I was very touched and opened the bowl with a grateful heart. As a result, there was only a note in the bowl that read: "Surprised or not, surprised or not?" Dare to play hunger strikes and go hungry! ”?

7. A female classmate is working in a bank, one day a big bride came to withdraw money, and the female student brushed the passbook: "Big bride, how much do you want to withdraw?" Big Lady: "Oh! Girl, I don't take money, I have 100,000 in my passbook, just show it to you. I live near here, observing you for many days, I think you are a good-looking and polite girl, if you are my daughter-in-law, this money will be a bride price for you. "The whole bank hall laughed at the time?

8. Watched the first round of the playoffs last night for LGD and WE. Unexpectedly, Little Peanut dreamed back to S6, and Qian Jue's WE mentality exploded in the red BUFF script-like walking show. This player who was the director of the hammer factory in 2016, I was his fan at that time. After watching the game, I was satisfied to take the bus out to dinner. From time to time on the bus, she peeked at a beautiful girl, was noticed, and smiled awkwardly. The girl also smiled and said, "You and my ex-boyfriend are really like!" I felt a secret joy in my heart, felt a play, and excitedly asked: "Really? Sister: "Just as fat and faceless as he is!" ”"

9, go to the girlfriend's house to propose, the old mother-in-law said: You take 2,000 yuan to marry my daughter. What a good mother-in-law, I asked: Why do you want 2,000 yuan? Mother-in-law: My daughter was born to me, raised for 20 years, even if it is 100 yuan per year, 2000 is also cheap for you! After I listened, I sneered twice: You raise her for another 20 years, can't you earn 4,000 yuan when you are 40 years old??

10. I ran out of money, so I went to my brother-in-law's house to get the money, because my sister said to me: Your brother-in-law is your cash machine. When I arrived at my brother-in-law's house, I saw my 10-year-old nephew saying to my sister, "Mom, I have too much homework!" My sister tore the homework book into the trash and said, "When the teacher asked, she said that mom and dad were fighting, and my mom tore your homework book." "Having such a mother is simply my dream when I was a child." As a result, the little nephew cried loudly: "But I finished writing." ”

11, go to eat cold vegetables after work, eat two bites feel no taste. So I asked the lady boss: Lady boss, do you have mustard? The hostess not only ignored me, but actually gave me a blank look. I thought to myself, why is this lady so dragged? So I said out loud without anger: Lady boss, do you have mustard? The lady boss's face immediately turned red, and she shouted: Old lady, I am not lonely, but I have always been very worried, do you have a way to cure it? I was messy at the time, was my Mandarin so unsatisfactory?"?"

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #