Yesterday's exam paper was sent down, I took the 98 test, and the Xueba test took 100. When I was complacent, Xueba said, "You take 98 because you can only get 98 points, and I take 100."

Yesterday's exam paper was sent down, I took the 98 test, and the Xueba test took 100. When I was complacent, Xueba said, "You take 98 because you can only get 98 points, and I take 100 because there are only 100 points on the paper!" After listening to what he said, I didn't hesitate to give him three legs. Xueba squatted on the ground and cried and asked me, "Why did you kick me three times?" Me: "Kick you three feet because you can only carry three feet, not Lao Tzu only has three feet of strength!" The next time you put thirteen in front of me, there will be more than three feet! ”

2, female colleagues boldly confessed to me: "Brother, be my boyfriend!" I asked curiously, "There are so many people in the company, why do they love me?" She said, "Because you're handsome, because you're talented, because you're the general manager!" I smiled and said, "You seem to know me very well?" The female colleague kept nodding. I said lightly: "You only know one, you don't know the second, you probably don't know, I may not like girls who weigh more than 200 pounds!" The female colleague said indifferently: "You probably don't know it yet, my mother is the chairman of the group!" My eyes lit up, and I held the hand of my female colleague tightly, with a pulse of emotion: "Deal! ”

3, my girlfriend took me to the barbershop to do hair, and I wanted to trim it a little. There was a very noisy music in the store, and I yelled: Can you change some other music, it's so ugly! Boss: You can't deny my taste in music because you can't sing these songs, I didn't let the guests get cards, buy shampoo, just want to share with you the music I love, is there anything wrong? I was speechless!

4, the upstairs bathroom seeped water, and the negotiation with his family for more than half a year was fruitless. My daughter-in-law was angry but had a quarrel with his family, and then his man threatened to find someone from society to teach me a lesson. I think men should be generous and not ruin the harmony between neighbors because of small garlic skins. In order to resolve the contradictions between the two families, I took the initiative to show kindness to his family, and treated his daughter-in-law as well as my daughter-in-law; I tried to take time out to help him pick up the children from school. After a month of hard work, his family moved away...

5, men, you remember, if a woman is after money, you give her enough money, she will not be angry because you go to a woman. What she pursues is that if it is a relationship, you give her enough love, she will not look down on you because you don't have money. If you can't give money and love, but you want her to tolerate your spending, laziness, lying, then sorry, you need to be a shabi!!

6. The student said to the teacher, "I would like to invite my grandfather to a parent-teacher conference, okay?" The teacher asked, "Why didn't your father and mother come?" Are they running out of time? The student replied, "No, because Grandpa can't hear clearly!" ”

7, eating at the restaurant, I ordered a celery stir-fried shredded meat, the rest is all shredded meat, because I don't like to eat meat! A beautiful woman at the next table also asked for a celery stir-fried shredded meat, and the rest was all celery, because she didn't like to eat vegetarian vegetables! That's why I came together with her!

8, dad took the language test paper and angrily asked Xiaoming: Why don't you do multiple choice questions? Bob replied: Because I have a choice phobia. Dad asked again: Then why don't you write essays? Xiaoming replied: Because the composition is densely written with words, I have a dense phobia. Dad finally took out the higher mathematics test paper and asked angrily: Why did you hand in the white paper for this high math test? Bob explained: "Because of me... I have a fear of heights!

9, when I was in college, I was confused about the dormitory, so I rented a house nearby, and I was the only one who was particularly convenient. As a result, after a month, a girl from the same school came to share a room next door, but because there was only one TV, every time we both grabbed the remote control because of what we watched, but I was embarrassed to grab it every time. She is good, watch Korean dramas every day, I said that I am not happy to watch, one day I can't help it: you watch Korean dramas every day, is Korean drama so good? Without looking up, she said to me: "Don't you look good, have I forced you to look?" I nodded: Hmm!

10, the doctor said to the fat man that if you run eight kilometers a day, run for three hundred days, you can lose 34 kilograms, 300 days later, the doctor received a call from the fat man, he has lost so much weight, but he also added a problem. "What conundrum?" The doctor asked. "I've been away from my hometown for two thousand four hundred kilometers now."

1 Wife cooked two duck eggs, and I deliberately picked up one and put it under my nose and sniffed it and said, "This is the egg laid by the female duck." The wife asked with a puzzled face, "How do you know?" Me: "Hmm, because male ducks don't lay eggs!" Wife: "Roll! ”

12, mom made a beer duck, dad tasted a piece, regretfully said: not that taste! Mom: "I don't know if the duck is wrong or the beer is wrong, I just can't make that flavor!" "In fact, I know the reason, but I have not dared to say it." I was a bear child at the time, and I clearly remember that I stole half a bottle of beer, and I was afraid of being beaten, so I spilled a bubble of urine in the bottle... Since then, every time I eat beer duck, my parents say it's not that flavor!

13. Friends, if these questions are added to the Chinese level 4 exam, do you think foreigners can pass? 1 Winter: how much can be worn and how much to wear; summer: how much to wear 2 There are two reasons for the emergence of leftover women, one is that no one can look at it, and the other is that no one can look at the reason for 3 singles: before it was like a person, now it is like a person.

14, the daughter of the first grade, did not complete the homework last night. When I found out, I was very angry, punished her for squatting, and asked her: Do you know what is wrong! The daughter said with tears in her eyes: Mom, I'm sorry, I was wrong, it's all because I'm a little lazy, I'm too lazy to write homework! I was even more angry when I heard this, and asked: Why are you so lazy? Why bother writing homework! The daughter said pitifully: I don't know why I am so lazy! Just like you're too lazy to go to work, it could be genetic.