1, Lao Wang found that there was a thief downstairs who was tinkering with his wife's electric car, Lao Wang stepped forward and asked: How? Can't open it? The thief was startled at first, and then calmly said, "Yes, my wife."

1, Lao Wang found that there was a thief downstairs who was tinkering with his wife's electric car, Lao Wang stepped forward and asked: How? Can't open it? The thief was shocked at first, and then calmly said: Yes, my wife's electric car can't be opened, Lao Wang smiled and said, what? Locks can't be pried open? Do you need help? Thief listen, are you a person in the channel? Lao Wang said: No, I am your wife's original match.

2. After my father retired at the age of 55, he and his mother entered a nursing home. I was packing my bags that day when dad suddenly gave me a bank card. He said: "All my possessions are here, you keep them well, and remember to send us both living expenses every month." I was so excited that I took the card and went straight to the 4S store. Say to the manager, "Give me your new Rolls-Royce, I'll take it." When the card was swiped, the manager said, "Sorry, you only have 105 yuan in your card, and the down payment is not enough." ”

3. The cousin in the third year of high school likes Banhua, and Banhua also has a crush on him. This year, my cousin is in her twenties and has not yet married, and my mother-in-law and my cousin arranged a blind date, and my cousin went to see if it was actually her! So my brain was hot and I asked, "Talk?" Ban Hua said, "Don't talk about it! The cousin said, "Then what are you here for?" Ban Hua said, "Marry you!" So the blind date became an engagement party.

4. Suddenly remembering that I have to go to work today, I immediately got up and sat down at the desk to pick up chopsticks and prepare for dinner. Father: "Son, why do you get up so early when you sleep so late, and then go to bed again, and give you stew at noon!" Me: "I have to go to work today." Father: "Ask your mother to send you a red envelope to eat some nutritious breakfast." Me: "No, I'll just eat this, I won't have time to talk about it." Father: "I forgot you came back last night and didn't make your breakfast!" ”

5. Last year, I did business with my uncle, borrowed 200,000 yuan from my best friend, and then the business became bigger, but the money forgot to pay it back! Recently, a friend organized a classmate party, and we had nothing to do in the KTV to play idiom solitaire. The classmate next to him first said: "Officials and officials protect each other!" I continued, "We don't owe each other anything." The friend who borrowed my money stood up and said to me, "Pay off the debt!" "That's when I remembered...

6, there is a grandfather on the car to buy a slow ticket, but got on the express train. The flight attendant found out and said to the uncle: Old man, the slow ticket of your ticket, your ticket should be replenished. The uncle's family listened to the eyes and said: The hole above was cut by you, why did you call me to make up for it? The flight attendant was dumbfounded to explain: it is not that the ticket is broken and you are called to make up, the ticket you bought is a slow ticket, this train is a fast train, you should make up the fast ticket. Uncle Daigo said, "Oh! Yes, then you tell the driver to drive slowly, I am really not in a hurry!

7, and my boyfriend met when I was bungee jumping, because the two of us peed our pants at that time. Yesterday I followed him home to meet my parents, but I didn't expect that my sister-in-law was actually my old classmate. She saw me and immediately shouted out, "Brother, you two can't be together." The boyfriend asked in surprise, "What' wrong?" Sister-in-law: "Because she is my classmate." Boyfriend: "What happened to my classmates?" Any questions? Sister-in-law: "Brother, I am here for your own good, you forgot that I am an accounting major?" Her accounting is notoriously good at school. ”

8, the husband is a fisherman, when going out to sea to fish accidentally picked up 15kg of ambergris, after landing sold 1750000 yuan. The next day my husband took me to the auto show and used the money to buy me a Kia K5. At the auto show, next to the K5 stood a pure-looking model girl, I asked my husband: Husband, do you see me and her who is good-looking? Husband: Haha, what are you kidding, you have her good looks. Me: You say it again. Husband: Oh, wife, you are better than the model, when your husband is so happy. Me: That's the way it is. He said and loosened his hand that was pulling at her husband's hair.

9. My cousin earned more than 1.5 million as an anchor and planned to buy a car to drive. Went to the 4S shop, looked at Paramela, then asked the price, the owner said: "1.1 million!" The cousin just wanted to open a counteroffer, and the hostess yelled at this time: "110? Why don't you sell 100 to others! Boss: "800,000 I am also willing!" "Dare they quarrel. The cousin was just ready to leave, and the lady boss came again- the sentence: "Just send it directly, come, the little girl drove away!" The cousin was confused: "What is this situation, a car for no reason..."

10. After saving up for two years' wages, I bought a Wuling Hongguang in a second-hand car dealership. Today I drove to pull fruit, and on the way, I was in a hurry, and parked the car on the side of the road to go to the toilet. When I came back, I found a little boy scratching my car. I took out a hundred-dollar bill and handed it to the child, and pointed to a Bentley Mulsanne in the back and said: Little handsome man, this painting is really beautiful, this is a reward for you, you go and paint that car, he will reward you more. Watching the scene of the child running to the Bentley, the corners of my mouth revealed a sneering smile. Only to hear the little boy shouting at Bentley: Dad, you are right, the poor are really stupid! Son, scratch his car and give me back the money.

11. After work, I went to the bar with a few colleagues and came back at three or four o'clock in the morning. I gently opened the door with the key, and when I saw that there was no light in the room, I couldn't help but be secretly happy, fortunately my wife was already asleep. So I was afraid of waking her up, thinking about making up the night on the sofa, smearing it on the edge of the sofa, and as soon as I lay down, I jumped up with a snort! At this time, the light in the living room was suddenly turned on, looking at the wife with a sneering face, and then looking at the sofa full of durian shells, I...

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