1. Go to the female colleague's house on the weekend, the result is that her hand accidentally broke, I had to help her wash her clothes, is washing, her husband came back, asked me what I did, I said: "Brother, I said I was hour."

1. Go to the female colleague's house on the weekend, the result is that her hand accidentally broke, I had to help her wash her clothes, is washing, her husband came back, asked me what I do, I said: "Brother, I said I am an hourly worker, do you believe?" He looked at me as I was washing my skirt by hand and said, "Lighten up, it's been rubbed up..." After saying that, he sat down in the living room and played a game. I was secretly relieved that I was doing laundry. At noon, the female colleague made a meal and told me to eat, and her husband said, "Okay, so many clothes, don't disturb his work!" "Mad, I've been hungry for a midday bath. At dinner, I was still washing, and I was not given food to eat, I was angry at once, threw my clothes away, and said: "Brother, to tell you the truth, I am not an hourly worker!" Her husband said, "I know, otherwise I can not give you food." "Oh, he won't already know anything, I suddenly feel a little bit of a thief. He said: "It is good for college students to work and study, but we must do what we can, and don't do this in the future..." I said yes.

2. Our boss is a smiling young man, 20 years older than me. Came out of the bathroom at noon, just as the boss came out of it. I casually asked: Boss, have you eaten? My husband looked at me and left without saying a word. At that time, I reacted that it turned out that I had said the wrong thing. Later, I went to the canteen to eat and met the boss again. This time I said wittily: Boss, you haven't eaten yet, I thought you had eaten it. The next day, I received a dismissal notice.

3. I took two boxes of Jian Nan Chun icon and went with Longjing Tea to meet my parents at the flight attendant's girlfriend's house. When I got to her house and saw her mother watching TV, I quickly said hello: Hello auntie! Auntie took my hand and said: Boy, don't call auntie, call mom! I bowed my head and said shyly, "Mom... Auntie suddenly laughed: "Oh, after that, you will be my son!" Later I will introduce you to the object Ha! What's going on here, am I not your son-in-law?

4. Seeing on the Internet that there is a train to Moscow in Beijing, the longest train line in the world, my friend and I were very interested in experiencing it, so we bought two train tickets and embarked on the road to Moscow. There was a restaurant on the train, and when we got to dinner, we went to the restaurant for dinner, and my friend asked the flight attendant, "Bring me a bottle of mineral water, how much is it?" Flight attendant: "15 blocks." The friend was astonished: "How big is the bottle?" Flight attendant: "It's the kind that sells for 2 dollars outside." ”

5. When I was in college, I bought a car by myself, although it is not a famous luxury car, but it is still quite comfortable for daily transportation. A few days ago to my car to do maintenance, past a BMW I took a look, said to the maintenance master: "Driving this kind of car are equipped with large money, although it is a BMW, but at most 200,000." At this time, the master gave me a blank look: "Less nonsense! 1 piece of pumping, one piece of oil on the chain, two pieces in total, take the money! ”

6. The mother is the secretary of the chairman of Harbin Pharmaceutical No. 6 Factory, who recently retired and has a pension of 36,000 per month. I heard that my aunt was pregnant with my second child, so my mother bought some gifts to take me to my aunt's house to visit. At noon, my aunt left us there for lunch, and during the meal, my mother pointed to me and asked my 3-year-old cousin: "Is my sister beautiful?" The cousin shook his head and said, "Not pretty." The old mother suddenly had a black line on her face, and the aunt hurriedly rounded the field: "How beautiful is my sister, do you look like she doesn't look like a XIAN girl?" Cousin: "Not at all, I think my sister looks like a rat." "Later, the breath was very dull, and my mother took me away without saying hello!"

7. When I was a child, I watched a lot of spy movies and always wanted to have a toy gun icon of my own. After my father bought it for me, he would imitate the plot himself. Felt particularly handsome! Once, when the flag was raised on Monday, the girl in front of me suddenly fainted from low blood sugar. I instantly fell to the ground shouting that there were snipers, and a group of people all fell down. At that moment, I became the most important person in the whole school, and the principal still remembers me. Three years on, my legend still lives on in the school.

8. Working as a physical education teacher in a high school, I accidentally got the principal's beautiful daughter pregnant with my child and fired the squid. Later, my father took a lot of effort to send me to Foxconn to work. In the dormitory at night, a colleague put a fart, and after a while, I also put one. Another colleague said, "What are you two talking about there?" Had such a great chat! "Then, my ass friend and I jointly fattened him up.