01
Two people together, the most important thing is to be honest with each other, have contacts, and truly cherish. Otherwise, even if he is humorous and erudite, he must avoid it, because from the most practical point of view, he can't bring you anything. Don't seek fame, don't seek profit, but you always ask for real experience, emotional acquisition.
It is still a fair relationship between the sexes, there is pity for each other, and a heart willing to take responsibility for each other.
As for the best intimate relationship, it is a relationship that is absolutely open, unguarded from each other, and has a deep state of being together. But this may be encounterable and unattainable.
People have a realistic side, this is not a problem, the problem is the reality of the other party, and your actual and internal needs are in conflict.
Regarding the matter of remarriage, women must first correct their attitude and do not regard marriage as the destination of adult life.
It's good to meet people who treat you sincerely, but if you don't, you can still be clear about your life, have your own life, and achieve self-sufficiency.
If you take marriage as the destination of adult life, or if you regard marriage as the only criterion for happiness in adult life, it is also a kind of unhappiness.
For example, there is a saying in "Rouge":
"My destination is health and ability, a person can be trusted after all, but he is himself, and it is he who can raise his eyebrows for him. I have found myself, and I am my destination. ”
If you don't stand on your own, even if you find Ruyi Langjun, your married life will only be bitter. Because you feel that life cannot be separated from marriage, first of all, judgment will be affected, and then in your values, there is only pay, sacrifice, dedication, forbearance, contribution, and will be done.
Therefore, you can still yearn for marriage and keep the pace of pursuit, but your attitude towards marriage is correct. With marriage, you can still pay sincerity, but the premise of maintenance is self-reliance.
02
48-year-old Zhou Hong (pseudonym) has been divorced for six years, the focus of life is mainly on children, and then find a companion for herself, she does not dare to think, nor does she have the courage to do it. It was not easy to take this step, but she did not expect to end in tragedy, she felt that her life was bitter, but she did not know why her life was bitter.
Can't find their true home, of course, meeting people is also one thing, after living together, I gradually realize the true face of the man.
For example, when I first met, he showed that he was careful, patient, considerate, and would take care of people.
However, in the same life, he never asked anything about buying vegetables, washing and cooking, nor did he see zhou hong busy as before, and he could take the initiative to think about what he could help.
This made Zhou Hong feel like a nanny, taking care of his food and clothing all day. It's just that what is stronger than the nanny is that she has good things to listen to, and those words of thanks, compliments, praise, and understanding hear the most, but I don't see him really sharing.
Perhaps, he can see zhou hong, otherwise he will not choose her, as to whether he looks at her as a person, or whether she will run the family and take care of people's ability, it is unknown.
Maybe at this age, he has emotional needs, but the need to be taken care of in life is only afraid of being more intense.
Selfishness is very heavy, no matter what good things there are in the family, the first thing to think about is always their own children. To describe the difference simply, he is always a real contribution to his children, and he always has only a verbal payment for Zhou Hong.
Being able to draw a big cake is the key to coaxing Zhou Hong.
Often weave a beautiful future for Zhou Hong, and now your contributions for the family, I will repay you twice. Now save all my money, and when it is really time to need to retire, I will take this money, we go on a sightseeing tour, ignore the children, and let them live their own lives.
Therefore, it is only occasionally to give Zhou Hong some sweetness, and whenever Zhou Hong is discouraged, these small sweets will become Zhou Hong's hope. Take out three or five hundred yuan, let Zhou Hong freely buy what she likes, but do not bear the expenses of life, the result of this money can only be used by Zhou Hong as an expense in life, in fact, the expenses in life have always been borne by Zhou Hong.
After living, Zhou Hong also woke up, and couldn't help but feel afraid, in addition to falling into some good words, she didn't get anything real, and she also put in her own feelings and labor.
Then the great realization, "Looking for a wife is fake, the lack of nannies is real": see the true face of middle-aged and elderly men!
03
Pay at the lowest cost in exchange for the highest value. When you regard marriage as the destination of adult life, it just happens that he uses and calculates this point, constantly creating hope for you. From now on, you have to take on all the parts of the labor and suffering, and he just has to enjoy life strongly.
You should know that life is solid and full of trivialities, so to some extent, we should also look at life from the most practical point of view.
Something that is not practical, equals zero. Even if you don't pursue practical things, you should at least pursue the acquisition of emotions. Even if he is this kind of person and can't give you too many practical things, but you are with him, the mood is happy, willing to pay, hard work and busy, it is reasonable.
In the final analysis, you must have discernment, distinguish whether he is really reliable, and whether he can let you rely on it.
As for whether to find it again or not, whether to marry again, this question you should ask yourself whether there is a real need in this regard. If there is no need for this, it is obvious that you are going against your own heart, and even if you are looking for a good person, you will not be able to get satisfaction from it.
Some things, although not generalized, are always good to maintain rational judgment. Make yourself comfortable and find the center of gravity in your life, whether your focus is on yourself or marriage. When you meet those selfish and calculating men, you must leave without hesitation, avoid repeating the same mistakes, and then fall into another pit.
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