If a woman sees people and tells her misery and misfortune, and always repeats it, it will annoy people, and it is easy to be compared to Lu Xun's "Xianglin sister-in-law".
In marriage, women's "Xianglin sister-in-law" style of complaints often make men scratch their heads, and they will also make men disgusted, feel that women are unreasonable, and say one thing over and over again.
While proper complaining can help relieve stress, express emotions, and even solve problems, complaining excessively can only make the relationship worse.
Qiu Meng said that after having children after marriage, she only slept for 2-3 hours every night during the month, and she was really tired and paralyzed, complaining to her husband that the child was too difficult to bring, but her husband went to sleep on the sofa on the grounds of too noisy.
She complained, her husband helped to take the child, she did not complain, the husband did not understand, the development of the end to quarrel, quarrel, husband can change for two days, and then changed back to the original, which makes her more and more love to complain, the husband more and more annoyed with her, said she is a vixen. The couple's feelings dropped to the freezing point, giving her the idea of divorce.
In married life, women love to complain often, because women are emotional species, they want to spit out their dissatisfaction in their hearts, they are pouring out emotions, and the real needs are not clearly expressed.
This kind of venting complaint in the eyes of men is nothing to find, there is no point, but also said to go. If you clearly give the method of change, you find that the woman does not do it at all, and still complains afterwards.
In order not to be affected by women's mood, some men will choose to turn a blind eye, no matter how women complain, he chooses not to pay attention to it, let women talk to themselves alone.
Women see this reaction of men more frantic, feel that men do not love themselves, the nameless fire in their hearts is greater, and the desire to quarrel is stronger.
When men see women going crazy, they will be glad that they didn't take care of it before, but they don't know why women are crazy.
The relationship between each other will fall into a vicious circle, and then become rigid, if you do not know how to change, the relationship between husband and wife will also be greatly affected.
In fact, in marriage, women "complain" in another way, and men love you more.
First of all, put the venting "complaining" and change to express your dissatisfaction directly.
Married life, women as wives, not only have to wash and cook, but also to take care of a family of children, but also to take care of work, tired to feel that they really should not get married, and men like throwing hands in the treasurer, psychological imbalance, mentality is uneven, feel that they are very wronged.
Thinking that they have given everything for the people they love, men are not distressed, and they are still disliked and suppressed by him, and they want to vent their dissatisfaction and grievances.
However, venting complaints are aggressive in the eyes of men, and he instinctively fights back.
For example, women will say: "You know every day that playing with your mobile phone, mopping the floor will you die?" Is the child my own, you shouldn't get married..."
When a man hears such a thing, he feels that women have nothing to do and want to quarrel, it is difficult to hear, and his inner dissatisfaction will definitely refute women's words, and quarrels are imperative.
In fact, women vent their dissatisfaction and grievances, what they want is men's approval, so that men respect their own efforts.
Then, you may wish to express your dissatisfaction directly, another way to express your needs, men can understand will know what women need.
It's not that he's reluctant to do it, it's that he doesn't want to guess what women want. Maybe when he is in love, he is willing to guess in order to marry a woman, but when the passion is gone, he does not want to bother.
Women think it is a sign of unlovement, but men do not think so, and there is a difference in thinking between them.
Women should also pay attention to methods to directly express their dissatisfaction, do not bring emotions, such as wanting men to put down their mobile phones to mop the floor, they said to him: "Husband, you go to drag the ground, I am tired with the child, there is no strength to drag." ”
When a man receives instructions to mop the floor, he does not have to guess what you are expressing, but thinks that you are "talking" to him, letting him share the housework, avoiding quarrels, and completing what you let him do.
Second, instead of "complaining", it is better to find a way to involve men in the trivialities of the family.
Some men do not understand women's complaints, but he feels annoyed, lazy, does not want to share, thinks that he does not do, women do it, he chooses to "lie flat".
In the life of husband and wife, men choose to be "passive and sabotage", because he is not aware of the family responsibilities and obligations he wants to share, women want to change this way of getting along, relying on "complaining" is useless.
Because some men understand everything, they just pretend to be confused and deliberately don't want to understand what you are expressing.
What women have to do is to learn from such men, choose to "lie flat" who will not, then compare, take the man's road, let the man have no way to go.
Women should give full play to their weak side.
Some male netizens said that his wife is very good at pretending to be weak, the bottle cap in front of him is absolutely unscrewable, the child cries for half an hour, if the wife is not good, she can also cry, he has no ruts, can only coax them two. Cooking is either salty, or cutting off fingers, and finally it becomes him cooking, and his wife buys vegetables and washes vegetables.
It is not easy for a man to understand a woman by participating in housework, otherwise, a woman complains every day, and he cannot empathize. As long as he is involved in the housework, he can learn to share and love, as well as respect his wife's efforts.
Finally, instead of "complaining", it is better to praise the husband in a fancy way.
Behind the woman's love to complain, there is also the fact that women are afraid of change, but women are unwilling to face their own hearts and choose to complain.
In fact, complaining can't change any problem, so it's better to stop complaining and actively find ways to solve problems.
No one wants to face a person who complains all day long, and women understand this and choose to reduce the number of complaints and learn to express their needs correctly.
If you want your husband to do something, it is better to praise him, after he has done the "instructions" you issued, do not feel that he should, but in disguise affirm his efforts, he has the motivation to pay more.
For example: a man pours you a glass of water, you have to praise him, say husband you are so good, help me solve my thirst and the like, let him receive your positive response, you can establish good communication habits.
There is a "chain shaping" effect in educational psychology, that is, the goal is divided into several small goals, and each time a small goal is completed, it is reinforced.
To put it bluntly, after the husband has completed the small things you expected, the woman will praise him and let him make this behavior the norm.
It may not be easy to change, but if you want a happy marriage, you must use your heart to manage and influence him in the right way, rather than using the method of complaining to push the other party to the opposite side of yourself, so that the relationship between them is irreversible.
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