Read aloud: Jia Xin
Dreams can best "expose" and "expose" the "yearning" and "attachment" that a person is not aware of in the depths of his soul. Dreams will tell you that you yourself have never thought of places and people.
Last night, I suddenly dreamed that I was shouting "foreign car" on the side of the street. A foreign car ran over, and the driver, a middle-aged man with a big waist and a very dark face, put down the handlebars and asked me, "Where are you going?" I sensed that he was calling him 'you' instead of 'you,' and I must have been very young, and I said, 'I'm going home, back to Scissors Lane.' "He lifted me into the car and pulled me away. Walking through many streets and alleys paved with loess, many pedestrians on the street, men, women and children, are "slow and methodical" to each other, please be safe, say hello, and stand for half a day at a stop.
This foreign car did not run, the driver just walked slowly and slowly, it seemed to have walked all over the city of Beijing, I saw that the back of his pants was soaked with sweat, and he had not yet walked to the middle scissors alley!
Suddenly, I woke up, opened my eyes, and saw a photograph of Fumizao hanging on the wall. Confused, I asked myself, "Who is this?" There is no him in The Middle Scissors Alley! "I don't even know Wenzao, let alone Sister Chen who slept in my bed, and my daughter and grandson who came into the house later!"
Only The Middle Scissors Alley, where my parents and brothers lived, was the eternal home in the depths of my soul. Even the former Yuan'en Temple in Beijing, I have not looked for it in my dreams, not to mention the Na An Pei Jia Lou in the United States, the Yannan Garden in Beijing, the Molu in Yunnan, the Qianlu in Sichuan, the Macheng District in Tokyo, Japan, and all the places where I have lived in London, Paris, Berlin, Cairo, and Moscow, which occasionally appear in my dreams, but they are not my "home"!
At this time, I couldn't help but look back on the sweet, sour, bitter and spicy life path I had traveled in the past ninety years, it was really "a thousand grievances gathered in this dynasty", and my tears gushed out...
The afternoon before yesterday I joked to a young friend, "I'm really 'nothing'!" From me are those who have no 'power' to 'take', no 'official' to 'strike', no 'rank' to 'demote', no 'money' to 'punish', no 'old' to 'destroy'; the authentic person who has no care, no concern, and withdraws. I never expected that I would have a 'home' that I didn't know myself, constantly pulling and cutting! ”
Appreciation
Essay "Where Is My Home?" " is a touching essay written by Bing Xin at the age of ninety-three.
As the saying goes, "Think about it by day, dream by night." Dreams are often a tortuous reflection of certain phenomena in people's consciousness or subconscious, and Bing Xin's "Where Is My Home?" This is an old man's yearning and return to the "home" of raising himself, her attachment and examination of her decades of "sweet, sour, bitter and spicy life path", and another vivid expression of her unswerving "maternal love" and "childlike heart", coupled with the true feeling after waking up from the dream, so that the dream and reality are contrasted, and history and present are blended, with deeper and broader meanings. Hanging in the living room of Bingxin Apartment is a couplet written by Liang Qichao: "The vicissitudes of the world are fixed, and the sea in the chest is flying in the dream", when we read this article, can't we also see bingxin's "chest in the sea", and then realize her broad mind and innocent feelings?
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Anchor profile: Lu Jiaxin, working at the Rong Media Center in Shangdang District.