Play middle school please pay attention
At about 15:30 on February 19, the Huanglou police station received a report from the public that his son (7 years old) and daughter (11 years old) were pulled by a man and a woman while playing in a community on Huaxia 2nd Road, and the son was injured in the head by the other party after resisting, and the couple drove away.
After receiving the report, the Pudong police attached great importance to it and immediately organized a capable police force to carry out a comprehensive investigation.
After a large number of surveillance and field visits in and around the incident, it was found that the boy accidentally scratched his head while playing with a marble strip, and in order to avoid the blame of his parents, he and his sister jointly fabricated the above situation.
Parents sent the information to the WeChat group without clarifying the facts, and now they have clarified it themselves.
The phrase "children don't lie" is a big mistake. Children will lie, sometimes deliberately, sometimes not intentionally, because the young age has limited expression ability and parents are prone to misunderstanding. When parents encounter such a relatively important matter, it is best to be rational and call the police at the first time, rather than casually saying that it is simply social death on the circle of friends network
There are a lot of moms who find out
Their children are lying more and more!
Small to eating and drinking Lasa and other daily life
Growing stories out of nothing
Lying to children
Many parents feel very anxious
Even worried that their children lie from an early age
Will it get bad when you grow up?
100% of children
They all lie
Centre for child psychology studies at the University of Toronto, Canada,
I did such an experiment
They bring in children of different ages
Let them stay in a room
Ask them not to peek at the toys in the room.
But when the researchers left, almost all the children peeked in
When the researchers asked, most of the children chose to lie
Studies have shown that:
25% of children have learned to lie by the time they are 2 years old
About 50% of children lie at age 3
About 90% of children at age 4 lie
By the age of 7, 100% of children have lied
So it seems,
Children lie in fact is a common phenomenon
Of course
Lying is not a good thing, and we don't advocate lying
But if parents have to link their children to sincerity because their children are lying
Label your child as 'big talker' or 'unruly'
It is also a bit arbitrary
According to the statistics of psychologists survey
Children lie
67% of them are due to fear and fear of ridicule;
10% is related to the child's imagination;
20% of children are deliberately lying
No matter what age the child lies
I believe there are reasons behind it
Today, S Dad will give you an analysis:
Why should a child lie
Under what circumstances,
Can a child lie?
01
It is impossible to distinguish between imagination and reality
Younger children
The imagination is very rich
But the concepts of time, space, quantity, people, etc. are very vague
Often you can't distinguish between your inner imagination and reality
Sometimes we think we're lying
It doesn't have to be really lying
For example, when the child is very young
Accidentally knocked over the water cup
When Mom asked who did it
The child will most likely say that the 'table' did it
Especially after the child is 2 years old
This is accompanied by an increase in self-awareness
It will associate 'cup broken' with 'mom is unhappy'
So she hoped in her heart that the cup hadn't been broken by herself
It was the 'table' that did it
Then the brain tends to respond accordingly
But their level of cognition is not enough
Reality and imagination are often confused
They will take their imagination seriously
They don't even know what they're talking about
Just exaggerating or distorting reality according to one's own needs
That's why it's all serious nonsense
02
For self-preservation
Many parents are born at the time of their child's birth
They will place all their expectations on their children
I believe that many parents have the same experience when they are young
Because test scores are not ideal or mistakes are made
You will be blamed by your parents
Serious cases can even be subjected to corporal punishment
They will want to use lies to avoid the scolding and punishment of their parents
Remember there was such a scene in "Mom is Superman 3"
Jia Jingwen's daughter Is going to go to music class
Not knowing what was going on, Hey was very resistant
Jia Jingwen guided her while teaching her to introduce herself
Unexpectedly, She suddenly got up and pushed her sister Bo Niu to the ground
When Jia Jingwen asked her seriously why she pushed her sister
He didn't say a word
Seeing that my mother was angry, she said, 'I want to hug my sister'.
It's obviously a lie
But it's also an instinctive reaction of a three-year-old
Inside, she was both remorseful and afraid
Afraid of mom getting angry, afraid of being punished
Just when she was subconsciously lying
In fact, I also realized my mistake
So under the guidance of my mother
She said sorry to Po Niu three times in a row
Most of the lying stems from inner fear
When he knows that lying is a good way to solve problems and escape punishment
You will naturally choose the way that is best for you
This trick no matter what age the child is
None of them are self-taught
03
To win attention
This situation will basically happen in two-child families
For example, everyone is around their sister
I'm afraid that mom and dad only like their sisters
They will deliberately say that they are uncomfortable here and there
to win our attention
Like this
In fact, it is just that the child wants to test it
Do you still love her
When she got the answer in the affirmative
I won't lie anymore to get your attention
If the child still lies over and over again
Then we can reflect on it
Is it the lack of attention to the child, resulting in the lack of love in the child?
But with the gradual growth of the child's age
The motives and reasons for lying will become more and more complex
If the parents can't detect the reason behind the child's lies
Face your child's words with a rough, wrong attitude
It will only bring harm to the child's heart
In fact, most parents will say to their children, "Baby, what happened in kindergarten today, you can talk to your parents." But we may not actually be able to hear some of the answers we seek from our children's mouths.
As a parent, the expectations for the child are full, and even the high demands on him are treated. But it is difficult for children to manage themselves to meet the standards of adults, and sometimes in order to get a praise and encouragement from parents, children may have to go to great pains to start making up a lie.
S Dad: Adults naturally like to "lie" children, or adults are more willing to hear the child's answer is consistent with what they want to hear, the child to the adult to say his true thoughts is actually a very risky thing, because when he tells the truth, not only will not get the approval of the adult, may also be punished, but when he lies, he will get a lot of praise and love, so this leads to the child to restrain his nature to tell the truth, learn to use lies to please the adult.
Therefore, we should be mentally prepared early, both to accept that the child tells pleasant truths, but also to accept the truths that the children do not want to hear.
Dad: Children mostly lie to cover up their mistakes. Usually, the child does what he thinks he shouldn't do first, and in order to avoid being punished by adults, he doesn't admit that he did it, which is the most common situation. Adults often only criticize the faults that children want to hide, and do not criticize children for lying. Therefore, for the child, even if the lie is unsuccessful, there is no serious consequence.
To not encourage your child to lie, you need to tell him: I can understand and forgive your mistakes, and if you can tell the truth, it will make me happy.
When we face "lying children", in addition to giving him clear moral education, we must look for the causes of this behavior, so that we can solve the problem in a targeted manner.
Lying is a necessary process for children to grow up
Behind the lies there must be a child's own reasons
Either way
All we can do is explain the importance of honesty to our children
and the consequences of lying
Try to listen calmly to your child's heart
Build a relationship of mutual trust with your child
Let the child be willing to tell us the truth and speak from the heart