Zhengfa 12035 speaks, the period of honorific (courtesy) education for infants and young children

Q1: Questions about children's use of honorifics. While raising the children, the honorifics were taught. However, when growing up, only honorifics were used, and there was a sense of embarrassment and alienation between parents and children, so even if children spoke plain language, they often let it go. When using honorifics, it is difficult to correct them after they grow up if they do not develop habits from an early age. Especially before the age of seven, etiquette education is very important, the use of honorifics will also play a great role in polite education, (according to the Chinese language environment, can be divided into polite language and impolite language, do not say swear words, demean and slander others.) It also has an impact on whether you can correctly live in social life after growing up. How can you grow up politely from early childhood, please teach the wisdom method.

Sky Teacher said:

As we study history, look at the actions of our ancestors! The commoner's house speaks plain language to the mother, but the scholar's house is always very respectful when talking to the mother, the father and the adults, why? If the quality is improved, they will raise their children in a polite manner.

When we are ignorant and of weak quality, it is best to live casually, because you also work, and I work, all the same labor. In the West, there is a large area of land, raising children, in order to cultivate the land together, then the father also cultivates the land, the son also cultivates the land, it is the same, so smoke together, drink together, cut steaks and eat together, not up and down, are all people who cultivate the land, are equal. There is an equal relationship between the working people and the people who work for the country, the people who do things for the country, they are equal relations, equality is judged according to the quality of the position, people who work hard for the country and those who cultivate the land cannot be equal, people who live for the country are also people who live for the people, so they cannot be equal with the people, people who live for the country, so that the country can exist, the people can live and work in this country, the people get help from the people who live for the country, so the people must respect "people who live for the country".

What if we want our children to speak honorifics (politely)? First of all, as parents, as adults, we must act with taste, if we want to get the respect of children, if we want our children to be polite in front of us, then as intellectuals, how should we cultivate children? When teaching children to speak, they are called "daddy", so they are called the same when they grow up, but how do we mostly teach it? "Daddy" cut off in half, there is "Dad", so when you grow up, you don't call it Mommy and Daddy, but call it Mommy and Daddy, from childhood it is so cultivated, of course, "Daddy" can't be called out when you grow up, it's the parents who cultivate it, how can you blame the child? Calling "Mom" is plain language, and the child says "Mom, where are you?" That's when the mother usually speaks to the child, "Son, where are you going?" So the child also spoke to his mother in plain language. Now the children of our knowledge society are very valuable, aren't they? If the mother usually says to the child, "Where are we going, our princess?" Then the child will also speak to the mother very politely, "Mom, where are you going?" If the parents receive polite education, the children will naturally be very polite when they grow up in such a family environment; on the contrary, if the parents do not receive such an education, there is no way to raise the child as a polite person, of course, they are not eligible to receive the respect of the child. (If the child is talking very impulsively, then the parents should reflect on whether they are usually talking at home. ）

If we know that we are people who are beneficial to the world, the way we treat our children and raise our children will be different, because we accept that we are the people who have been educated and grown up in the world. If we grow up with such an education from an early age, we will not treat our descendants as we are, as important as we are, our descendants, our children and grandchildren are also important. All this is because this society lacks social education - we really deserve the education, there is no acceptance, so even if the predecessors are heartbroken to the point of tears, they can only watch the bad behavior of our young people live, and the predecessors blame the young people for not being polite, so what did the predecessors do in the process of young people's growth? Have you helped young people in any way? The seniors said: "Young people have no courtesy, no public morality", and still reprimanded young people in this way? As seniors, they have not fulfilled their obligations, so they train young people, and young people will of course rebel, which is also the law of nature: "What you sow will reap." This sentence should be used in this place, because the importance of this sentence is not evident because it is used everywhere, and if it is not a great word, nature tells us: "What you scatter is what you will reap later." This is the unchanging law of heaven, "What you do and say will come back to you, and whatever you sow will come back." There is no right to blame the other party, and repeatedly say that the other party is wrong, then there will be more difficult things. After knowing this, we must start from now on, although we can't correct our behavior immediately, but after we understand this truth, we will change little by little.

If we want to hear others say honorifics to ourselves, then we must first say honorifics to others; if we want to be treated with courtesy, then we must first treat others politely; if adults want to be respected by children, they must first respect children, otherwise they will never. In this world, how can you in turn reprimand the buds that you sow and take root and grow, "How did you grow like this?" "That's it, we don't expect others to speak honorifics to ourselves, and if you speak with honorifics, you can accurately hear others speaking honorifics to ourselves.

Question 2: To ask additional questions, is the period of using honorifics (polite education) starting from an early age when calling dad or mom or dad or mom or dad or mom?

It is very important to start by learning to speak, from the very beginning when you teach it. The etiquette of treating elders and adults should be taught from an early age. And as an adult to have the appearance of an adult, not that you instruct the children to be polite to you, you can get the treatment of adults, but to act like an adult, so while educating children, respect for children is the behavior that adults should have, in the process of raising children, ignoring children, not adults should have behavior, if parents ignore children, then children will also ignore parents, parents planted in the future as a single must be accepted.

Also, the question about "I feel that there is no sense of intimacy when I use honorifics", adults are adults, children are children, when talking, how can it be no big or small? (Children who talk at home are not big or small, and when they grow up, they come to society, and their speech is not big or small.) Children should respect adults, they should respect adults, and adults should respect children, which seems to look far away, but it is a deep relationship. It is not a casual point of the relationship is close, it is an illusion, it seems to be intimate, and the more intimate people are, the easier it is to be despised. "Casually, it doesn't matter if you deal with it, you feel that such a relationship is intimate." This can only be done when the quality is exactly the same, and if there is a difference in quality, it should not be taken lightly.

I have never admonished that everyone should respect me, never, but very respectfully called "teacher", is everyone far away from me? Not far, but why do people respect me? Because everything I teach is what everyone needs, it automatically becomes like this. After receiving help from me to grow up, the way you treat me is different, the way you talk to me is different, even if you don't teach, it will be like this. Politeness and etiquette are not disciplined, but should be formed naturally.

They all feel that children should be taught, that is, at a specific time, how to teach children how to speak politely and how to act politely. It is not to discipline the child and require the child to be polite to himself, for example: after drinking and talking to the child indiscriminately, how can the child be polite to you at this time? How can it be that you behave indecently and force others to ask for courtesy to you? Now it's a knowledge society, and nature operates with accurate laws of nature. We must face up to everything we see, right or wrong, to accurately distinguish, our children have not done wrong, but reprimand the children, the children will become more and more crooked, and the parents will be more and more twisted, causing parents to work harder.

If you want to be respected by others, you must first respect others.

Lecture Date: 2022.01.30 at Longren