Subtraction: Life is not a material feast, but a spiritual cultivation.
I once saw a passage on the Internet:
We always attribute happiness to "being"—having a car, having a house, having money, having power; but in fact, true happiness should be "nothing"—no disease, no disaster, no worries, no worries.
Deeply.
The era we live in today has no worries about food and clothing, but people's desires are a bottomless pit, and the unlimited pursuit of cars, houses, money, and rights has led people to become more and more anxious, more and more confused, and farther and farther away from happiness.
The Japanese writer Honda has traveled to countries with the highest happiness index in the world, such as Denmark, Sweden, the Netherlands, etc., visited local people from all walks of life, and written the book "Less is More".
In the book, Honda goes on to tell us that the era of obtaining happiness from material things is over, and if we want to achieve happiness in this era, we must pay attention to our hearts and the people or things around us.
01, true happiness is to find the "small luck" in life with your heart
The term "Kokyoyuki" was coined by the Japanese writer Haruki Murakami.
This means that some of the small but real little things that happen to us in life tend to surprise and be happy.
Honda until now think that compared to the great happiness that people often think, the lasting small happiness is more touching.
Some people say: If I win the lottery, then I will be very happy.
Some people say: If the boss gives me a promotion and a raise, I will feel very happy.
Some people say: If I buy the house and car of my dreams, then I will feel happy.
These are all "great happiness", they will certainly make people excited and happy, but they are too rare, not often, and it is too difficult to feel happy by placing happiness on them.
More importantly, even if these great happinesses are truly realized, they will be flat and will not bring us lasting happiness.
Little Luck is different.
On the way to work, enjoy the beautiful flowers fluttering in the wind on the side of the road, and you will be happy;
When eating breakfast, just have your favorite small dumplings and eight treasure porridge, which will make people happy;
Go to the stop sign to wait for the bus, the bus I want to take just stops in front of me, it will make people feel lucky;
Go to the library, the books you want to read are still on the shelves, and you will feel happy that they have not been borrowed by others;
These are small blessings in daily life. As long as the heart is careful, such small things will happen often, and they will bring us a lot of ordinary and real happiness.
Let yourself grow a pair of eyes that are good at finding them, grow a heart that is happy for them, and happiness will always be there.
02, true happiness is not compared with others
Mr. Yang Said:
"No matter which step life goes, there are people on the steps who look down on you, and there are people at the bottom of the steps who look up to you." You look up at yourself, you look down at yourself, and only by looking down can you see your true self. ”
People, the most afraid is to compare with others.
The husband poured his wife a glass of water, and the wife felt full of happiness.
If she compares herself with others at this time and finds that the other party has received a bouquet of flowers and a set of cosmetics, the sense of happiness may disappear suddenly.
But the wife forgot that the person who pours water for you every day is true love. Things are expensive, but feelings are not high or low.
One survey showed that many people's unhappiness stems from contrast:
Do your own work, but at the same time envy the work of others who are treated better;
Living in your own house, while at the same time envying the bigger houses of others.
Own your own car, but envy others' more upscale brand-name cars.
It can be seen that not caring about what they have and looking up to others is the root cause of their feelings of "unhappiness".
Marshall Luxemburg said in "Nonviolent Communication": If you really want to live a miserable life, compare it with others.
Therefore, instead of comparing with others and envying other people's lives, it is better to compare with your own past and make yourself better and happier.
Friend L's child went to junior high school, and his English grades in the re-class have not been ideal.
In one exam, the child only scored 56 points and returned home very disappointed.
L understood the situation and said to him: "Baby, remember that you only scored 50 points in English last time?" You're already better than you were last time, and Dad believes you'll be better next time than this one, come on! ”
Friends know very well that encouraging a child to surpass himself is far more effective than letting him live in the shadow of "someone else's child".
As Hemingway said: Being superior to others is not noble, but truly noble is superior to one's past self.
For the rest of our lives, may we all make vertical comparisons with our past selves, not horizontally with others, so that we can get closer and closer to happiness.
03 True happiness is inner abundance
Denmark is the fairytale kingdom of the world, the homeland of the fairy tale king Hans Christian Andersen.
The country's happiness index has repeatedly ranked first in the world.
On the streets of Denmark, some people ride bicycles comfortably, some people walk unhurriedly, and some people sit on the floor and listen to the singers. Their faces were filled with happy smiles, and they looked like they had been quiet for years.
When Honda went all the way to interviewing the people there, what they thought was most important.
They replied:
"I want my family to be healthy";
"I want to be with my family";
"I want children to have a quiet and beautiful future";
"I want my family and friends to succeed."
No one mentions anything related to figurative matter such as "cars, houses," etc.
For them, what can bring happiness is not abundant material things, but inner satisfaction.
Yu Juan, a lecturer at Fudan University, is well known for her terminal illness. During her illness, she was also a 32-year-old young woman with a good life, and she also had a foreign experience and a doctorate.
After a year and four months of battling the disease, he finally died.
Before that, like other young teachers, she faced a double pressure, buying a house and a car in her life and a career promotion within the system.
She wrote in "This Life Is Not Completed": "My goal was to get an associate professor to do it within two or three years, so I desperately published articles, worked on topics, and what to do after being promoted to the position of associate professor, I was very confused. ”
She said: At the critical point of life and death, we will find that any overtime, staying up late, giving yourself too much pressure, the need to buy a house and a car, these are floating clouds.
If you have time, give the money for the car to your parents to buy a pair of shoes. Don't desperately try to change to some big house, be with the people you love, and live warmly.
Yu Juan tells us from her own personal experience that too much material pursuit cannot make us have long-term happiness, and true happiness comes from a real and certain life.
For example, eating on time, not staying up late, spending more time with their parents and children, holding hands with their lovers and walking in the moonlight, and the family eating a meal around a table.
In this life, the joy of the heart is very important, and we must have the courage to do interesting things, and we must do meaningful things.
04, true happiness is actually a break
Life is a break.
What we should do is to let go of what should be put down, and pick up what should be picked up.
The pursuit of material things often makes us lose sight of our own hearts, and true happiness is never related to our inner needs.
In life, there are not a few people who have successful careers but suffer from depression; there are also many people who are materially scarce and still feel happy and happy.
Yu Dan said: "Everyone wants to live a happy life, and happiness is just a feeling, it has nothing to do with rich and poor, it is connected to the heart." ”
As Mr. Qian Zhongshu said, "All happiness belongs to the spirit." ”
The mind can turn hell into heaven, and it can also turn heaven into hell. Happiness has nothing to do with material things, it has to do with everyone's mindset. Light up the light inside, and you will find more beauty in the present moment.
Returning to our inner world, paying attention to our family and close friends, focusing on those things that can present the value and mission of life, and unity of body and mind, can we find a true sense of happiness in life.
Zweig once said that subtractive life is deeply understood:
The greatest fortune in a person's life is that when he was young and powerful, he discovered his mission.
To truly be kind to oneself is to fill oneself with positive and bright ideas and occupy oneself with an innate mission.
True happiness is actually a return to yourself. No matter where you are, there must be light in your eyes, the sea in your heart, love what you love, do what you do, and ask no questions!
Give people roses, and the hands have a lingering fragrance. Like subtractive life, welcome to pay attention to likes, comments, forwards, share to more people with affection, the same frequency resonance, the moment enlightenment.