"Mother picked up the second child after school and was mistaken for grandma" on the hot search poke in the older parents hidden embarrassment

"You're here to pick up your grandson too?" Recently, a short video of a mother who was recognized as a grandmother after school was on the social hot search list, and this topic inadvertently poked at the embarrassment hidden by many elderly parents on the issue of image. Some parents who are in the interview also admitted that when they show their identity as parents, they will pay special attention to their own image issues, and the degree of attention even exceeds their professional image.

The 39-year-old mother was hit by the recognition of her grandmother

The hot search of "mother picking up the second child after school is mistaken for grandma" comes from the self-complaint of a female designer, who said that when she picked up her child in kindergarten, she was asked by a 50-year-old mother to "you also come to pick up grandchildren", which made the mother who was only 39 years old very hit. Looking at the 'domineering president' hairstyle that cost 500 yuan perm, the down jacket bought for 1,000 yuan, the pants for 280 yuan, and the shoes for 780 yuan, she sent out a soul torture question "What is the problem?"

Because of this heavy blow, this mother turned back to order more than 8,000 yuan of skin care products, and was inspired to carry out fitness weight loss and dressing learning, and to change her image.

What this mother did not expect was that her own complaint caused widespread concern, and even appeared on the social hot search list. While netizens commented and suggested to her, they also triggered a discussion about the "parent image problem", many of which said that the experience of the second-born mother poked at her hidden worries.

The image of the parents of the eldest two-child is awkward

The reporter searched on the short video platform and found that in fact, before this "spit" was on the hot search, many elderly parents shared the embarrassment they encountered, which included both "mother is recognized as grandma" and "father is recognized as grandfather".

Dalian citizen Ms. Yao said that she was deeply touched by this problem, she told reporters that she was the second oldest when the "single two-child" policy was released, when the child was 48 years old when he went to primary school, and most of the children's classmates were firstborn, and they and these parents had an age difference of more than ten years, which invisibly gave her a lot of pressure, "Although the 10-year-old difference is not large, but women are easy to grow old fast after 40 years old, plus at this age, they always like to wear some loose and comfortable clothes, so the overall feeling is old, It's not as simple as a number. Ms. Yao said that she admitted that in order to avoid this embarrassment, she has been consciously avoiding piling with the parents of the same class when picking up the child, waiting on the opposite side of the road.

Citizen Ms. Kong is the second child after the full liberalization of the two-child policy, she told reporters that now the second child is in kindergarten, there are many second-child mothers of the same age around, even if they are not "lonely", but when picking up the child, they will involuntarily feel that they belong to the "grandmother gang" and "mother help" outside the "outlier".

"Mainly worried that I look too old, afraid of embarrassing my children." Older parents are so frank about their pressures and concerns.

The parent behind "Challenging Li Yuqing's mother" shura field

In addition to their own worries, the background from the "hot moms" also increases the pressure on older mothers. During the interview, the reporter found that it is not only the elderly mothers who care about the image problem, but also some mothers who are at the right age, such a phenomenon is fully displayed on the social platform and even sets off a "storm" and causes "inner volume".

For example, at the end of 2021, a wave of "challenging Li Yuqing's mother" was set off on a short video platform. This stem originated from a netizen who was a full-time mother, because her son said "Li Yuqing's mother wore a skirt" the day before, she thought of defeating "Li Yuqing's mother" in temperament, so she spent 3 hours carefully dressing up before going to the kindergarten to pick up her children, not only wearing a big brand, but also dressing exquisitely, like a celebrity to attend a cocktail party.

Subsequently, "Li Yuqing's mother" became synonymous with exquisite mothers, and "challenging Li Yuqing's mother" set off a follow-up trend on the whole network, and related topics were played more than 1 billion times.

Although there are entertainment and exaggerated elements in this hot search, many parents said that in reality, when showing people as "xx mothers", they will pay special attention to their own image problems, such as the school gate of picking up and dropping off children, parents' meetings, including the training class waiting area are all valued image "shows", which even exceeds the concern for the image of the workplace.

The reporter encountered such a typical example in the interview

1. The distance between home and school is less than 1 minute and spend half an hour on makeup

Ms. Yu, a citizen, told reporters that her home is less than a minute away from the kindergarten, and even if she wears pajamas and slippers to send her children in the winter morning, she will not feel cold when she comes back, but even so, she will get up half an hour in advance every day to wash and dress, and then dress up neatly to send children, "Even if the time spent along the way is less than a minute, I hope to leave an impression on teachers and other parents is spiritual and sharp." Ms. Yu said.

2. Dress up on Wednesday because I will pick up the child at noon

Ms. Meng, a parent, said that she had neglected to dress up in a unit for a long time, but she would deliberately make a fuss every Wednesday, just because she would go to school to pick up her children at noon on this day. In addition, as long as she is walking with children, she will consciously dress up and ask her husband to pay attention to his appearance. Ms. Meng told reporters that this is because she has paid attention to a news that "migrant workers with children to buy Nike are discriminated against by store staff", "although they can be more casual without trimming, they are afraid that children have ideas, and they are more afraid of involving children." Ms. Meng said.

3. Buy a big brand bag leaning over for your child to be looked up upon

Ms. Dong, a parent, shared a personal experience with reporters: she liked a Celine bag, but she was always hesitant to buy it, and when she accompanied her child to the piano group lesson, she paid special attention to the other parents' wearing, and then decisively started Celine. "First respect the robes and then respect the people, I hope that I can wear a decent dress, and the child can be looked up to." Ms. Dong said.

Older mothers seek a consultation for cosmetic plastic surgery

The sensitivity and attention of mothers to the "parent image" is not only reflected in the dress, but also many people change their state through plastic surgery and beauty in reality. The reporter learned from the Department of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery of the Second Affiliated Hospital of Dalian Medical University that in recent years, the patients are no longer limited to the traditional "young people who love beauty", but also include the mother group. "Especially for older or second-child women, after giving birth, the recovery of physical function is slow, coupled with workplace pressure and life pressure, poor sleep, easy aging." So in anti-aging programs, this group accounts for a large proportion. Section director Zhao Muxin said.

In the interview, Zhao Muxin said that the number of cases received by the reception found that the difference between this group and other patients is that many people feel physically and mentally exhausted, and only generally express that they want to become younger, and they do not have their own clear demands and specific ideas like other women, and the awareness of maintenance is not high, and they prefer short and fast programs, which can be seen to ignore themselves.

"But when you do the project, you will find that they not only change their appearance, but also change their mentality, and the whole person will become radiant." Zhao Muxin said that in her view, this state of women will have a more positive impact on their families and children.

Mo loses his true self in "Challenge" and "Inner Scroll"

"The misidentification of the mother of the second child as the grandmother, on the surface, is an accident, but it can become a hot search topic from self-spitting, indicating that there is group embarrassment." Dalian Women's Federation "Happy Home" salon sharing guest Zhang Chen said that in her view, behind the phenomenon, many second-child women in real life almost put all their time and energy into work and family, in the workplace pressure, family pressure and social pressure, ignored the sense of self-existence, resulting in self-loss, and even can not find self-worth, serious and even appeared depression.

"Therefore, for older second-child mothers, the society should pay more attention and tolerance to help them relieve pressure and build self-confidence." Zhang Chen said.

Family education instructor Tong Hua said that in a family, the happiness of the mother directly determines the family atmosphere and happiness index, from this point of view, family members, especially husbands, should give their wives more love and nourishment, let her love herself, pay attention to the time and energy and desire of self, a delicate and energetic mother to create a quality of life is much higher than a mother who loses herself and works hard.

In addition, the children's painting said that for women themselves, no matter what age they are, do not give up and ignore the pursuit of "beauty" and self-management, but also to correct the understanding of "beauty", in reality, the phenomenon of "respecting people after respecting people" exists, but self-confidence and decency are fundamental, otherwise it is easy to lose the true self in the "challenge" and "inner volume", which has a negative impact on children.

Yu Yakun, chief reporter of Peninsula Morning News and 39 degree video

The picture is taken from the video screenshot