Is your sweetheart your true love?

In the process of psychological growth lecture training and individual counseling, there will always be some people in love and marriage who want to repeatedly verify a question, does my he (she) really love himself?

Tip: Part IV in this article provides analytical audio.

First, the triple realm of love

What is love? Ten thousand people have ten thousand opinions, but no one can give an accurate answer. Therefore, love is a very heartfelt "feeling", which makes people impenetrable and untouchable, but it also makes people fall into it all the time and cannot extricate themselves.

The first realm: the sweet period, love is love

Performance: Willing to pay, pay time, pay money, pay hard work!

The second realm: the period of contradiction, love is not love

Performance: Sweet as honey when in love, it develops to a certain extent and requires participation in each other's family and life. Accept the real respective shortcomings after marriage, to remove all disguises, then love is not like love, may not be so beautiful, in this period of contradiction, some people because of the inability to accept each other's inadequacies and lose love.

The third realm: the period of stability, love or love

Performance: The beauty of love lies in making the human mind pure, pleasant, intoxicated, it is a very happy, very happy, very elegant state, just like you see a beautiful flower, you appreciate it, you are intoxicated by its beauty, you fall in love with it.

Second, he or she judges whether you are true love or not

1) When you ask a person whether he loves you or not, it means that you can't feel (his) her love, in fact, you are unwilling in your heart, and you are not willing to admit this fact.

For example, in the cold winter you have a stove next to you, if it is hot, then you must not ask, oh, this stove is not cold? If you ask, it means that the stove is not hot at all.

2) See if he or she is willing to give you his or her scarce resources.

If he or she is idle at home and spends with you every day, it seems that he spends a lot of time, but these times, ah, he (she) would have been wasted, this is not his (her) scarce resources. On the contrary, if a time is very tight, he or she is eager to break 24 hours into 25 hours, and is willing to spend time with you, it only means that he (she) has paid scarce resources for you.

3) There is no specific action

Psychology tells us that the most intuitive manifestation of true love is action. If the way he or she cares about you is just lip service without cost, it means he doesn't care about you.

You have a cold, he (she) makes you pay attention to rest! When your stomach hurts, he says to you, you have to remember to drink more hot water, oh, when you do housework, he says, wow, you are really capable. This kind of he or she does nothing but touch his mouth, does not report too much hope or try to change the status quo. People who can take you to the doctor, who can bring brown sugar water to you; who can take the initiative to help you with housework, mouth to heart, this kind of person is the person who really loves you!

Third, whether it is a true love of money judgment

If you are a lady who imagines how tall the person you love must be, tall, thin, handsome, mature and stable, or lively, connotative and funny, or only have you in your eyes.

When a person appears, you find that all the above set standards are not counted, and even say that many conditions are not met, you still want to be with him, this time it is true.

The lady will say, the person I am looking for is according to my standards, so how to judge that I really love him? It is to assess whether you are willing to consider him financially in your heart, but whenever you encounter money problems, you can consider money with him, so that he is your true love. The point of this factor is not that he doesn't spend money on you; the point is that you are reluctant to let him spend money for you, as long as he is willing to spend money on you or his family, it means that he has seen you as a family.

How do guys judge if the girl I'm looking for is my favorite? Quite simply, you imagine a scenario where when you have a title deed, are you willing to write her name? In fact, in practice, there is no need to dwell on the real estate deed to write the names of two people, as long as there is an impulse to be willing, it also shows that it is true love!

Fourth, the love triangle theory and perfect love

Psychologists believe that love is made up of three elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment. These three elements as three corners and three edges can divide love into seven types.

Is your sweetheart your true love?

1) Intimacy

Refers to the sense of intimacy that two people have together, and produce a warm feeling between each other; the premise of this intimacy is that two people respect each other, and the long-term contact between two intimate people will inevitably expose some shortcomings, but not because of shortcomings, and lack of respect for each other. And the strength of this sense of intimacy is also affected by the sense of trust, when the sense of trust of two people increases, the sense of intimacy will also increase, and the two are proportional to each other.

2) Passion

Psychology calls it a strong, explosive emotional state, it is very strong when it is produced, but the time of action is short, passion has a positive side, there is also a negative side, it can stimulate people's potential, so that people's consciousness and analytical ability become low. The passion of love is the state of wanting to be intimately combined with each other, every time you see each other, there is a feeling of heartbeat, tension intensifies, is an exciting experience.

3) Commitment

Commitment is a contract formed between each other, the commitment of love can be divided into short-term, long-term commitment is the vow of two people to love each other, long-term commitment may be into marriage, the promise of spending a lifetime with each other, the long-term commitment is affected by each other's persistence and responsibility.

The love triangle that is formed can be a balanced positive triangle or an unbalanced triangle with a factor as the culmination, but if love is a positive triangle, your love is perfect love in the psychological definition.

Tong Zhaojing, a national second-level psychological counselor, doctor, postdoctoral fellow, associate professor, master tutor, has long been engaged in mental health education, psychological disorder treatment, counseling and counseling, group training and lectures of universities, primary and secondary schools, enterprises and institutions.

Make progress with heart and grow happily

Focus: Innovation and psychological growth

Share favorite likes to see