01
In getting along between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we must pay attention to proportions and never exceed our authority. If the mother-in-law interferes too much with each other and likes to make up her own mind too much, the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law will definitely be bad.
If conditions permit, it is better for the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to live separately and be the hostess in their own homes, so that the contradictions between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law will be much less. If the mother-in-law goes to her son's house, it is best to respect the daughter-in-law and not be too ownership.
Today's young women generally have to go out to work, and the children in the family are brought by the mother-in-law. On the issue of bringing children, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are the most prone to contradictions, mainly because the parenting concepts of the two women are different.
02
After the daughter-in-law became pregnant, the mother-in-law took it upon herself to collect a bunch of old clothes worn by other children. After the daughter-in-law gave birth to the child, the mother-in-law took the old clothes to the son's house and insisted on giving the grandson old clothes. But the daughter-in-law does not want to wear old clothes for the child, she wants to wear new clothes for the child, so the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a conflict.
This is something that happened in Mao Jianxiang's family, Mao Jianxiang wanted to raise children in her own way, but the mother-in-law wanted to raise children according to her way, so the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law always disagreed. Let's hear the story of their family.
Self-narrator: Mao Jianxiang
Age: 32 years old
Occupation: Stay-at-home mom
City: Tangshan
03
My husband and I both entered the city through studying, after entering college, we met at work, and then we fell in love. The situation is similar in our two families, my parents are in the country, I have an older brother in the country, my husband and a sister, they are all married.
When my husband and I got married, the marriage room was bought by our husband and wife with a loan, and the parents of both sides only helped us with the money for the banquet. After we got married, we didn't have children right away because we wanted to have children when we had a little more money on hand.
My husband and I repaid the loan for 5 years, finally paid it off when I was 31 years old, and then we were ready to have children. Fortunately, I got pregnant in the third month of pregnancy, and my husband was so happy that he informed both parents at the first time.
In October, I gave birth to a big fat boy, and my husband immediately asked my mother-in-law to take care of my confinement. When my mother-in-law came from the countryside, I was already discharged from the hospital, and my husband took care of our mother and son. The mother-in-law brought two large bags of old clothes, which she said were worn by the children of the village when they were children, and she went door to door to collect them.
04
The mother-in-law treated these old clothes like treasures and wanted to take them out to wash. She said the clothes were washed and dried before they could be worn by the child. She also proudly said that her grandson could wear it until he was ten years old without buying clothes, and he could save a lot of money.
I asked my mother-in-law not to wash them, and the clothes worn by the children, I had already bought them, and I didn't need to wear these old clothes. But the mother-in-law did not listen, stubbornly had to take out the old clothes to wash, because there were too many clothes, she was too busy.
While washing clothes, my mother-in-law blamed me for not buying clothes for my children, saying that I wasting money. But I thought, I just have a child, and I can't afford it, so why let the child wear the rest of the clothes that other people wear? I'm going to dress my child in new clothes, I'm going to dress him up beautifully.
No matter what I said, my mother-in-law just insisted on washing those old clothes, so I had to say nothing. Because there were too many clothes to wash, to dry, ironed and folded, etc., she had been here for several days and had been waiting for them. I really don't understand, is she serving me and my children, or is she waiting for clothes?
05
My husband is on my side, we are a couple raising a child, it is not a problem at all, we want to give the best to the child. My husband also told my mother-in-law not to get those old clothes, we don't need them. The mother-in-law was very unhappy, scolding us husband and wife for not living a life and wasting money.
Later, when the old clothes were finally packed up, my mother-in-law gave them to my son, and the first small dress was with a tiger pattern on it. I really didn't like the dress, and it was old, and I had a diaphragm in my heart, so I took it off.
When my mother-in-law saw it, she was very unhappy and immediately quarreled with me, saying how can I do this? I said angrily, "I want to dress my child in new clothes, and I can't afford it!" ”
I also said that the new clothes I bought are not worn, which is also a waste, why don't I wear new clothes, I have to wear old clothes? The mother-in-law said that the old clothes were comfortable and the new clothes were uncomfortable. I said that the new clothes I bought were pure cotton, and the price was also very expensive, how could it be uncomfortable?
But the mother-in-law did not listen, still insisted on her approach, I did not give in, we both quarreled over which dress to wear for the child. Although my husband also wants to wear new clothes for his children, he sees his mother-in-law pointing fingers and feet, and sees our mother-in-law and daughter-in-law arguing, and he is caught in the middle.
06
Later, from dressing to other things, the mother-in-law was very stubborn and had to raise the children according to her methods. I think I'm the child's mother, I can't even decide which dress to wear for the child, so what kind of mother am I? So I won't budge, I'm going to defend my right to be a mother.
In the blink of an eye, my maternity leave was coming to an end, and I was ready to squeeze the milk out of the refrigerator after going to work, and then let my mother-in-law warm it up and give it to the child to drink. But the mother-in-law said that it would not work, insisted that I wean the child, she also went to the supermarket to buy back the milk powder, and made up her own mind to give the child milk powder.
I didn't want my child to be weaned at such a young age, so I didn't agree to give my child milk powder, so our mother-in-law quarreled again. Later, after thinking about it again, I decided to resign, and I wanted to take the child myself. My husband was very much in favor of it, because he had had enough of the mother-in-law-in-law conflict in the past few months, and he said that we should take the children ourselves!
The mother-in-law made a plan to help us with the child, and as a result, we said that we didn't need her to take the child, and she was very angry! My mother-in-law said that we would leave her alone and quit her good job, saying that I was making excuses for not working.
I ignored her, she liked to say whatever she wanted! Anyway, I discussed it with my husband, and when the children are older, I will go out to work.
epilogue:
When the child is still young, a woman cannot take care of the child and go to work normally. Many women have faced the dilemma of choosing between work and children, and fish and bear paws really can't have both.
The mother-in-law is willing to take the child, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cooperate happily, and the mother-in-law is very good with the child. But if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can't fit together and there is always friction, then it is still the mother who brings the child herself! Of course, the premise is that the husband should be responsible and be able to take responsibility financially.
When it comes to children wearing old clothes, there is no uniform standard at all. Some people think it's good to wear new clothes, some people think it's good to wear old clothes, anyway, they all have their own reasons. In fact, as long as the child's parents approve, how can it be? But the mother-in-law cannot make her own decisions and must respect the opinions of her son and daughter-in-law.
Every pair of parents wants to give their children the best things within their financial means, so it is normal for mothers to want to dress their children in new clothes. Mothers-in-law should not impose their own ideas on their sons and daughters-in-law, otherwise they will inevitably be discordant in the family.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.