The TV drama version of "Know It or Not" is very "compassionate" to the uncle of the country, Shen Congxing, so that after he had just suffered a big hardship between Xiao Zou and the Zou family brothers, he made up his mind to "send The Little Zou clan to Zhuangzi" and avoid the endless disasters thereafter.
In contrast, Shen Congxing in the original work is not so lucky: after experiencing the difficult birth storm of Zhang Da's wife in the main room, for various reasons, Xiao Zou was still left in the Shen Mansion as a concubine;
As a result, the children left behind by the original Da Zou clan became victims:
Shen's eldest son was taught by Xiao Zou to not only live with the new concubine everywhere, but also offended his princess wife for Xiao Zou's sake many times, almost annoying the royal family and the title was not guaranteed;
Shen Zhu, the daughter of Shen's parents, was also provoked by Xiao Zou's family, bent on marrying Gaomen, and eventually married into the family of the king of the clan with a large number of wives and concubines, and after leaving the capital, she never had the opportunity to return to her mother's house, and she could only survive on her own for a lifetime.
Fortunately, among the children left by the Great Zou clan, there was finally a sober one: Shen Yuzhu.
How did she face Xiao Zou's provocation and exploitation? Many years later, out of what kind of psychology did she actually take the initiative to give Xiao Zou's pension?
The grudge between Shen Yuzhu and Xiao Zou actually has a lot of inspiration for us to deal with interpersonal relationships in real life.
01 In the face of interests, family affection can sometimes become abominable because of greed
In terms of kinship, Shen Yuzhu called Xiao Zou "Little Aunt". But emotionally, Shen Yuzhu was very "bored" with some of her aunt's behaviors from the beginning of her understanding;
This kind of behavior is: Xiao Zou often drags the three brothers and sisters to cry about the spirit seat of the Great Zou clan, crying until Shen Congxing hears it, and cries until Shen Congxing once again gives benefits such as the Zou family's farm shop and errand rewards with a guilty heart.
In this regard, Shen's parents have no opinion, and her sister Shen Zhu has no opinion, but the young Shen Yuzhu does not like it very much, and feels that her mother has been used and is not clean underground.
"The mother is naturally excellent and excellent, but the mother is good, what does it have to do with whether the aunt is good or not?" What is the relationship with uncles, aunts and uncles, and the third aunt and sixth aunt of the Zou family? ”
Yes, relatives return to relatives, and people return to people;
At that time, Xiao Zou's family, while talking about treating these three brothers and sisters as their own flesh and bones, with them, she did not want anything, but at the same time, she tirelessly spent a lot of money to find various prescriptions, bent on having a child of her own;
At that time, the uncles of the Zou family, while chanting the love between the Zou family and the Shen family, on the other hand, they used the sign of the uncle's relatives to do wrong and caused countless troubles to Shen Congxing.
In addition to the fact that they themselves are all surnamed "Zou" like the Great Zou Clan, where is the "good" of the Half-Point Great Zou Clan?
Soon, something even more outrageous came:
If this "Zou cousin" is an outstanding, it is no obstacle; but this teenager is "overbearing, ugly, does not read, and loves to bully" - to put it bluntly, it is to look good, to have no future, to have no family lineage;
Forcing the young daughter left by the late sister to marry such a person is also something that the aunt can do? Where is the jade bead as a flesh and blood, obviously it is to use her as a tool to take advantage of!
Shen Yuzhu made it clear that she would not accept this marriage, but the eldest sister Shen Zhu stood on the side of Xiao Zou and advised her to submit with a big truth such as "you have to read your mother's kindness".
Yuzhu directly and mercilessly shook back:
Since the sister is so worried about the love of her uncle's family, why don't she marry the eldest cousin herself?
Shen Pearl was dumbfounded on the spot.
If the whip is not drawn on oneself, it does not hurt; it does not feel serious when things do not come to one's turn.
Xiao Zou and Shen Zhu both felt that Shen Yuzhu was young and easy to grasp, but they never expected that this little girl had a scale in her heart:
Although she does not deny the zou family's kinship, she will never allow others to use her late mother or herself because they are "relatives".
If you want to carry out "emotional blackmail" and "family kidnapping" against this little girl, there is nowhere to start.
02 Is it true, can not only listen to "how to say", but also to see "how to do"
Many times, people are accustomed to using "closeness" as a premise for judging whether a person is good or bad, which is unfair in itself.
Shen Yuzhu's growth path is a good proof.
As he grew older, the interaction between his aunt Xiao Zou and Shen Yuzhu remained in the "spirit position of crying big Zou", while his stepmother Zhang Shi had already considered Shen Yuzhu's education:
Good villain is also a big girl show, all day in the dirt crazy play can not be, or go to read, harvest sex!
As a result, Shen Yuzhu was sent by Zhang Shi to the famous "Zheng Family School".
This boudoir is a remarkable existence in the story structure of "Knowing or Not", from teachers to students, they are all women; the knowledge imparted is also all-encompassing, not only can read and write, but also teach financial management, medical science, astrology, human feelings and so on;
The quality of teaching is also excellent, the most typical example is Gu Tingye's daughter RongJie'er: once an inferior and sensitive character, soon after entering the Zheng family's boudoir school, the conversation and style have been very different, and the mind and vision have also been broadened a lot.
Shen Yuzhu's ability to have the opportunity to enter the Zheng family's boudoir can be said to be a great good thing, but her aunt Xiao Zou jumped out again, pushing three blocks and refusing to let her go, on the grounds that Zhang Shi was not at ease, "Madame this is trying to envelop you!" ”
As a result, a ridiculous situation appeared in front of Shen Yuzhu's eyes:
Stepmother, who is not related by blood, took the initiative to win the opportunity to study for her high-end boudoir, giving her a bright upward path;
However, the little aunt who is close to her, just because she is worried that her niece will be "enveloped" by the lady of the room, has repeatedly obstructed, and does not care at all whether the niece's personal growth will stagnate because of this.
People can't help but think of the classic line of Brother Changbai again: People in this world, kiss or not, it's really hard to say!
Fortunately, Shen Yuzhu is a person who can carry clearly, even if there is a family entanglement, she also firmly safeguards her due interests and firmly chooses to study.
This choice proved to be correct. After going to school, Shen Yuzhu really benefited day by day:
"I have made friends with several sisters who are very affectionate, learned a lot of principles for dealing with the world, can calculate accounts, can sew simple clothes; when I go to the elders outside, I can also pretend to be dignified and gentle, and smile without showing my teeth."
What is even more unexpected is that she also accidentally met a young boy in the backyard of the Zheng family;
And this young boy Lang, after many years, became Wu Zhuangyuan and became her lifelong husband.
However, Xiao Zou's family, because of their interference in the marriage and matching of the children of the Great Zou clan, was finally forcibly removed from the Shen mansion after a few years and sent to the family temple for "strict supervision."
03 There are no perfect people, and there are no perfect relationships
Some people may say that although Shen Yuzhu can carry it clearly, after all, Xiao Zou is her sister-in-law, she only cares about her own interests, and does not consider Xiao Zou at all, is it too ruthless and selfish?
The story is not over, and the timeline is elongated, continue to look back:
After many years, Shen Yuzhu's children have been many, and they have already lived with her husband in a separate house. She did something that many people expected: she went to the family temple, took Xiao Zou to her home, and gave her a pension.
Even Xiao Zou himself did not understand why Shen Yuzhu was like this, because xiao Zou did not treat Shen Yuzhu well, and Shen Yuzhu was clearly very unhappy to see Xiao Zou.
The answer given by Shen Yuzhu was simple: "You are my mother's sister, and you have been raised by me for several years."
She is not really ruthless, she is just able to "carry clearly" and understand "one yard to one yard".
Once the affection and kindness, she is not unrequited;
But how heavy this kindness is, whether it is really heavy enough to sacrifice her own happiness for a lifetime to return, she also has her own sober considerations.
In the future, although she could not make Xiao Zou's glory and wealth, she could at least let Xiao Zou's children and grandchildren wrap around their knees, someone waiting for soup medicine in front of the bed, and have a lively old age.
All this, in the context of years of grace and resentment, is already unashamed.
04 Conclusion and Revelation
Shen Yuzhu himself lived soberly, and at least gave us two enlightenments:
First, even relatives, with the ties of affection, should do something and not do something; instead of being bound by the so-called affection, everything should be responsive.
At this point, Shen Yuzhu's mother, Da Zou, was actually very clear, and she had told her husband Shen Congxing before she died:
The brothers of the mother's family are not instruments, and several sisters-in-law are not like they can educate a good child, so in the future, you will support more in other aspects, and you must not let your children and daughters compete with their families!
And the truth is indeed as the big Zou clan predicted, Xiao Zou and several brothers of the Zou family are greedy and insufficient, lying on the sister's spiritual seat to suck blood, thinking that they can rely on the love of the sister and brother-in-law to call the wind and rain, and make the good family affection taste bad.
Such things, not only in stories, but even in real life, I am afraid that they abound.
If you really encounter something similar, you should be sober when you should be sober, and you should refuse when you should refuse, you don't have to feel guilty about your "rational" behavior, feel that you are sorry for your relatives, or have failed to live up to your friendship;
Because, true relatives and friends, can not bear to make you embarrassed, and even more can not bear to let you sacrifice your due interests in order to meet their needs, pay for their own bright future.
Second, it should be understood as soon as possible that in the adult world, there are no perfect people and no perfect relationships.
The things of the world are not black and white; the relationship between people is not friend or foe.
Just like Shen Yuzhu's treatment of Xiao Zou's family, it is definitely not pure filial piety, but it is by no means ruthless and filial piety; just like Zhang Yuzhu's treatment of Shen Yuzhu, it is absolutely not a close relationship, but it has also really done a good thing that makes Yuzhu use for a lifetime.
Therefore, the more you grow up, the more you must learn to use the "one code to one code" attitude to look at the people and things around you, whether it is family affection, friendship, or life or work.
It is not necessary to recognize yourself as a confidant and follow all your life because of a momentary effort, nor do you have to turn against each other and die for the sake of a tit-for-tat confrontation.
Be a little wider-minded, be open-minded, and don't dwell on a temporary matter;
After all, the road of life is still long, and there are still many changes in the world!