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01
We often say that marriage is a woman's second reincarnation, a happy life, and a painful life.
The drama "Do You Know If It Should Be Green Fat Red Thin" is really suitable for women to take a good look.
In this drama, there is a famous scene "Shulan and Departure".
Shulan is Ming Lan's cousin, who married Sun Zhigao, a local talent in her teenage years, by her mother, and began a painful married life ever since.
Sun Zhigao was 12 years old, and since then he has been obsessed with fireworks and does not want to forge ahead, and his mother believes that her son is Xiucai and feels superior and often bullies Shulan.
Before Shulan got married, the Sun family was so poor that it jingled; After Shulan got married, the Sun family lived on Shulan's dowry.
Even Minglan 's father, Sheng Xuan, knew that only the most unproductive man in the world would beat the idea of a woman's dowry, but Sun Zhigao insisted on a "soft rice and hard food".
He started his family with Shulan's dowry, but he didn't know how to be grateful.
After getting married, he disliked Shulan for not having children, and took more than twenty concubines under Shulan's Zhang Luo.
Finally, he had to marry a prostitute.
It is true that people are good and deceived by people, and horses are ridden by people.
The reason why Sun Zhigao and her mother bullied Shulan so much was because Shulan and her parents were too weak.
In the face of the provocation of the in-laws, Shulan is the first pass.
Shulan blindly swallowed her anger and met the requirements of her husband and mother-in-law, then she had already lost this level.
Shulan's parents are the second level, her parents did not stop the vexatious teasing of her in-laws, but chose to bend the way like Shulan, hoping to give more money, which also means treating the symptoms but not the root cause.
These two levels cannot be kept, which means that the Sun family can take Shulan at will.
This is one of the reasons for Shulan's unhappy marriage.
02
Why is Shulan and Sun Zhigao's marriage unfortunate enough, but her mother still has to compromise and ask for everything?
The reason for this may not be known to many people.
Changbai once said that his mother did not look at his aunt's maiden family merchant background, and often sneered at his eldest aunt when she was in her hometown.
In order to improve their status, on the day of the scientific expedition, the merchants would arrest their son-in-law and go back to marry.
Changbai has encountered this before.
Therefore, Shulan's mother will let Shulan marry Sun Zhigao, she has her own vanity, she wants to improve the status of her family, but also to compete for Wang Ruofu to see.
Her search for a son-in-law for her daughter Shulan is also considered from this aspect.
Shulan's marriage is unhappy, and her mother has a lot of responsibility.
Of course, in the end, Shulan's mother suddenly woke up and united her family and Minglan to save her daughter from the sea of suffering.
03
In the matter of "Shulan and departure", there are many layers of meaning worth thinking about.
About marriage
Ming Lan said a point of view on the matter of Shulan: since you enter a poor alley, you should turn around in time, and you can't wait for a lifetime to wear out, and regret it too late.
If we enter into a very painful marriage, what we should do is not to bear the burden of humiliation, but to stop the loss in time and break our arms to survive.
If you can't stop the loss in time, then facing us is a lifetime of wear.
Life is just a few decades, how many people are willing to make mistakes in marriage for half a life?
Of course, this does not conflict with the principle of tolerance in marriage, at least there should be love and care in normal marriages, there should be a bottom line and principles, and those wrong marriages have long been without a bottom line and principles, let alone love.
About recognizing people
In the play, Sun Zhigao is a person in the system in our eyes, he has no car, no house, no money, soft food and hard food, and is very arrogant.
Even if he and Shulan are reconciled, they still laugh at Shulan's talentlessness, appearance, indifference and boredom, and should not be worthy of him, and remember to be virtuous in the future with a pig killing and growing vegetables.
In Sun Zhigao's eyes, he is a person with a high status in the system, even if he has no money, he is not worthy of Shulan.
His mother, who had just escaped poverty, looked down on people with her son's work in the system, was unreasonable, and bullied her daughter-in-law.
This shows that the Sun family has a small pattern and short-sightedness, and a small job within the system makes them unable to recognize how many pounds they have.
Even now, there is no shortage of such people around us.
Such a family cannot be married, and such friends cannot be made.
About the bottom gas
What is confidence?
For women, in our life, either our mother's family has confidence, or we have confidence.
Shulan can get out of the sea of suffering, relying on the support of her mother's family, her mother's family can run around for her, brothers and sisters compete to contribute, even if they give up the dowry to ruin their reputation, but also to save her from the fire pit, this is the strength of her mother's family.
It is the icing on the cake that the mother's family has confidence, and it is the real ability to have confidence yourself.
Each of us cannot choose our own origin, we cannot choose our own family, nor will we necessarily have good luck, the only thing we can choose is hard work.
For Shulan, her biggest problem is weakness.
If she could be firmer, the Sun family's two ladies would not dare to attack her, let alone bully her.
We often say that people must be kind and have their own edge.
Kindness is to be kind to others in good times, and edge is to be kind to oneself in bad times.
When we encounter bullying from others, small things can be tolerated, and big things must adhere to principles.
At last:
Shulan married a simple and simple household, gave birth to twins, had a happy family, and lived her best life.
And the detour she took in a marriage sounded the alarm for thousands of women.
(The pictures in this article are all from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact the author to delete.) ）
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