The 4 signs that the child is spoiled, and a parent should be vigilant when it appears

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Wen 丨 Rui Ma

The French educator Rousseau said: "Do you know what methods you use that must make your children unhappy?" This method is to be obedient to him. ”

There's nothing inherently wrong with parents loving their children, but excessive pampering can easily make children lose themselves and go down the wrong path.

If your child has the following 4 situations, then as a parent, you should be vigilant.

1

There are no rules

During the Chinese New Year, there was a "little bully" from The morning mother's house.

"Little Bully" Tiger Zi is the child of Morning's cousin's family, 6 years old this year, and is a master who says nothing at home.

Although Huzi came to Chenma's house for the first time, he did not have the shyness and strangeness of ordinary children at all.

First, he turned the drawers of the house upside down, then ran into his son's room and carried all the toys he liked into the living room. After playing, throw it away and make a mess of the whole living room.

When it was time to eat, the elders had not yet served, and the tiger had already picked up the chopsticks and stirred them around on the plate, picking up his favorite food into the bowl.

When the cousin saw the tiger swallowing the tiger, she not only did not stop it, but spoiled a smile and praised: Look at how good my tiger's appetite is, it will definitely grow into a big tall one in the future!

As the saying goes, there are no rules and no squares.

If the child is young, the parents do not make rules for him, and they impose certain constraints on his code of conduct. Then when he grows up, the child will easily become a person who does not follow the rules and does whatever he wants.

2

Poor hands-on ability, do not love labor

"Clothes to reach out, food to open the mouth" should be a portrayal of most contemporary children.

An elementary school principal stumbled upon the school cafeteria that many children would leave the shrimp on their plates when they ate.

Only after careful questioning did I know: it is not that children do not like to eat shrimp, but they do not know how to peel it. Because at home, every time you eat shrimp, the family peels it and puts it in front of them.

There was once a student who complained to Chen's mother:

There was a girl in their dormitory, who had never washed her clothes once in four years of college, and her parents would regularly go to school to take her dirty clothes away and bring them back next time after washing...

Some parents think that their children are still young, as long as they study well, it doesn't matter if these small things are not done, they will naturally be when they grow up.

In fact, there are some habits that are not cultivated when they are young, and they will not automatically grow up to children when they grow up.

If parents like to do everything and let the child lose the opportunity to do it, when he grows up, you will find that if you want him to do some work, it will not move.

People's habits are formed from an early age, so that children can do what they can, not harsh on him, but a kind of cultivation of social ability.

3

Likes to talk about conditions

When the child is young, parents like to make the child obedient in exchange.

For example:

If you're eating, let you watch an episode of the cartoon.

If you go to sleep now, tomorrow I'll take you to the amusement park.

If you don't cry, your mother will buy you a car.

The child is very intelligent, and he quickly learns from his parents that he can use conditional exchange to achieve his goals, and even threatens in exchange for unreasonable demands.

If you don't buy me this toy, I won't leave!"

You don't let me play with my phone, I just jump off the stairs!

If the child often uses such unreasonable conditions to achieve the ultimate goal, then parents should reflect on themselves, usually whether they use too many material rewards for the child, so that the child has the concept of trading.

4

Cold and selfish, without gratitude

Last week, my aunt had appendicitis surgery, and when my mother went to the hospital to see her in the morning, my aunt had just come out of the operating room, her face was full of pain, and her mouth kept shouting "pain.".

While comforting her, her uncle hurriedly called for the nurse to give injections and change the medicine.

And her 19-year-old son, Chenma's cousin, sat on the side playing with his mobile phone without caring, and did not say a word of concern to his mother in the hospital bed from beginning to end.

Before 12 o'clock arrived, my cousin stood up and said impatiently:

"Starving, I went home first, there is not even a wifi here, what a broken hospital!"

Hearing his words, Chen Ma really wanted to slap him in the face. But the little aunt said with guilt:

"Yes, go home, buy something delicious, and don't starve yourself." Don't come over when it's okay. ”

Hearing this, it is not difficult to understand why the cousin will grow into a selfish and indifferent person.

As long as the cousin grew up, as long as he wanted something, the family must find ways to satisfy, never let him work, and even talk carefully to please, for fear of accidentally provoking him to be angry.

The excessive love of the family did not let the cousin cherish the gratitude, but took this love for granted, and if one day the family's eyes were no longer focused on him, the cousin would lose his temper for no reason.

A cold and selfish child who does not know how to be grateful, even if he is excellent in his studies, it is difficult to filial piety to his parents and benefit society when he grows up.

Loving children is the nature of parents, "loving" and "not being petted" is something we need to learn as parents.

If your child appears in any of the above 4 points, then you have to reflect on whether you are over-spoiling your child in your daily life, ignoring the gratitude education of your child and the cultivation of the spirit of hardship?

Each child is a blank piece of paper in itself, and the parent is the painter with the paintbrush.

If you want your child to become a colorful picture, then, before writing every time, please think twice, because not every stroke can be erased and re-enacted.