Cultivate the most interesting and practical psychology every day
People living in society often need to work to obtain financial benefits, psychological growth and personal identity, for many people, work is even a thing that occupies most of their life time and space.
At the same time, this state does not end from scratch: in order to give people a chance to rest and adjust, but also to allow society to continuously inject new blood and achieve the purpose of "living water for the source", many countries have a mechanism of retirement.
The so-called retirement, in the Chinese context, refers to "the withdrawal of a worker from work due to old age or disability due to work or illness, complete incapacity to work (or partial incapacity to work)".
As we all know, people's lives are not only jobs, so when many people retire, they no longer belong to the workplace, but still live in various groups, and social interaction will continue.
Many people fall into a kind of confusion after retirement: the life that was enough to prove the value of their lives suddenly changes, and it seems that they are "no longer needed" in the days after retirement.
In this case, there are also many retired people who will show off in various ways in order to prove to others that they are still "valuable". should
When paying attention, do not show off these things to others after retirement, otherwise the consequences will not only be detrimental to yourself, but even to the people around you.
1. Take the capital of your children as your own capital and show off everywhere
In traditional Chinese culture, intergenerational relations are a very intimate relationship, especially family relations based on blood, whether it is father and son, mother and son, father and daughter, mother and daughter, will maintain a very close relationship throughout life.
This is because the Confucian "filial piety" culture that has lasted for thousands of years has played a role: for the elders, they have worked hard to raise their children so that they can grow up smoothly and at the same time be able to raise themselves to repay their kindness; for the children, they can also become adults because of the parenting of their parents.
However, many people regard this relationship as somewhat "distorted", and there will even be some Chinese-style "moral kidnapping": that is, some elders believe that since they are the parents of their children, the children should support themselves, regardless of whether they have fulfilled their parental responsibilities.
For example, some elderly people, in the process of their children's growth, did not fulfill their responsibilities, and even often scolded and humiliated their children, but after their own efforts to achieve achievements, "brazenly" came to ask the other party to fulfill their obligations as children, in the TV series "All Is Good", Su Daqiang, played by Ni Dahong, is such an old man image, and this situation is not uncommon.
On the basis of this approach, there is a similar situation: many parents believe that as long as their children have a prominent job, an enviable income, and a happy family, they are equivalent to their own face.
Talking about these related things is publicized everywhere, but it is not known that such behavior is likely to leak a lot of information about children, resulting in some people with ulterior motives who may harm their children; or after "showing off wealth", it is very troublesome to recruit many people who borrow money for their children.
2. Put your own retirement benefits and plans out
As mentioned above, in order to ensure that those who can no longer struggle in front-line positions can continue to live, the state and the government have formulated a sound social security system to provide basic living expenses for retirees, and many retired employees in state-owned enterprises and systems can enjoy good welfare benefits after retirement.
However, it is also at this time that they cannot obtain affirmation from others to satisfy their emotional emptiness by finding their own social value in society.
Therefore, many people will become a little "distorted" at this time: they will focus on their retirement benefits, thinking that as long as they let others know that their pension is very high, the relevant security mechanism is perfect, or there are many industries under their name, then their value can still be reflected, and others will not look down on themselves.
From a social psychology perspective, this is a typical lack of self-identification, eager to get positive feedback from the outside world in some situations.
But there is something wrong with the method: when the status of one's property and the number of properties in one's hands are known, one's vanity may be satisfied for a while, but at the same time it may also attract the jealousy of others.
Therefore, it is recommended that those who do not adapt to a new life after retirement, always can not find their own positioning of people to find some "re-employment" opportunities, or according to their own interests, participate in some social activities: people always belong to the group, when a person alone will inevitably be lost.
3. Degrade the younger generations in the family for their own status
Similar to the situation above, many people will frantically go to various fields after retirement to "find a sense of existence": either in the economic field, or in the field of social interaction, and of course, in the field of family life.
We know that in traditional Chinese social life, the family often adheres to a model of "big parents" as the core, and age, backup and experience are important indicators to measure the status of individuals in the family.
For those who leave the workforce after retirement, they tend to have one or more of these characteristics, and in turn they will focus their energies on these social capitals.
Some people who have retired have no personal hobbies and do not like to socialize, and some people still happen to help their children to see their children, so at this time, in order to show their "family status", they often seize every opportunity to show themselves.
When children mention work-related matters, they teach or even denigrate them as "comers" to highlight their age.
When the younger generations talk about social-related things, they will also pose as preachers, just to show their own experience; even in the education of their grandchildren, they are eager to "do it alone", whether they understand the content of the grandchildren's textbooks, they must also forcibly teach them, just to highlight their "understanding"...
This kind of behavior is not necessary, a person's social value is not only reflected in the job, but also not only measured by economic strength and social status, people are multi-dimensional and all-round when looking at a person, when the retired person understands this, compared to the deliberate display of these aspects of the article.
Retirement is also worth looking forward to, and even for some people, this is their own life.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205