"My life after retirement is to pour money to my son's daughter-in-law's family and become an 'old mother'?" A mother-in-law's helpless words have resonated with many elderly people.
Inadvertently I saw a mother-in-law's message, the short text is full of heartache and helplessness, after reading it, I also feel sorry for this mother-in-law's not easy, and this mother-in-law's experience has told the voice of many old people.
This mother-in-law is 61 years old, is a higher education teacher, taught high school English before retirement, her son and daughter-in-law work in Shanghai, when the son and daughter-in-law gave birth to the first child, the mother-in-law has not retired, but it is the daughter-in-law's mother to take care of the child for a year, at the age of 55, this mother-in-law filled out the retirement form, because she felt that let the daughter-in-law's mother take care of the child, she was too unwilling to go.
The mother-in-law said that senior teachers can be extended to 60 years old retirement, but she feels that she is a grandmother, if she lets her own mother bring children to her son and daughter-in-law, she is worried that her daughter-in-law will blame herself in the future, so she will retire after weighing it.
After retirement, she came to Shanghai alone to bring grandchildren to her daughter-in-law, and her wife continued to teach in her hometown, and began to live separately.
And it is also from this time that this mother-in-law feels that her life is no longer glorious, every day is spent day after day in overwork, every day is not good rest, eat badly, tired and exhausted, feel that life is dark, before the life is very exquisite senior teacher, now reduced to an old mother who does not trim the edges.
I thought that I could go back to my hometown and reunite with my wife when I brought my grandson to kindergarten, but my daughter-in-law gave birth to a second child, and the second child was just over 1 year old, and she wanted to continue to live her original life again.
First, after living with her son and daughter-in-law, her mother-in-law felt that she was a "free nanny"
As a retired high school English teacher, this mother-in-law said that her monthly retirement salary is also more than 10,000, and she had envisioned that she would have a pension after retirement, and she could go with her wife to places she wanted to go before and did not have time to go, and live a full and comfortable life in her old age.
Unexpectedly, she just retired, and she plunged into the tired life of bringing her grandchildren day and night, she said that she got up at 6:30 every morning, because her son and daughter-in-law had to get up at this time to wash up and go to work.
Daughter-in-law every morning let the mother-in-law go to their bedroom to stare at the baby, to keep tapping the baby to ensure the safety of the baby, so as not to wake up the baby, the daughter-in-law said, 6-8 o'clock in the morning is a good time for the child to sleep longer, we must find a way to let the baby sleep more.
When the son and daughter-in-law went to work, they sent Dabao to the kindergarten by the way, the mother-in-law patted the little grandson to sleep, about 8 o'clock the grandson woke up, she began to be busy, first to the little grandson to pee, dress, and then put the grandson in the living room guardrail, she went to cook for the child, after feeding the child to eat, she ate some of the baby's leftovers, and then the pots and pans in the sink could not take care of washing, take the baby out to play.
Because the daughter-in-law said that every day to take the baby downstairs to play twice, basking in the sun to supplement calcium, and then the mother-in-law will carry a big bag, which contains the things used by the child, move outside for two hours, take the child home, cook, feed the child, coax the child to sleep, and coax the child to sleep, she is also tired and paralyzed.
Then she must pick up her spirits, because there are two meals of dishes in the kitchen, the house is confiscated, the toilet and wash stand after the daughter-in-law wash in the morning are a mess, the living room sofa is full of things for children to play, next to the washing machine are the clothes of adults and children, the daughter-in-law specially explains, the baby's clothes must be washed by hand.
All of this, the mother-in-law has to finish while the child is asleep. These tasks are done, almost the child is awake, and then give the child extra meals, take the child downstairs to play, buy vegetables, the family's daily expenses are paid by the mother-in-law, because she has a pension, and then come back to prepare the family's dinner.
After the son and daughter-in-law came home from work, they said that they were too tired after a day of work, so after eating, the mother-in-law had to wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen, and it was almost 8 o'clock after cleaning up, and then she had to coax the eldest grandson to sleep, because the eldest grandson slept with the grandmother at night.
This mother-in-law said that every day is like this, day after day, year after year, lying in bed at night, she will have insomnia all night, miss the days of work, miss her friends in her hometown, miss the good times of standing on the podium, lecturing to students, and worry about her wife being at home alone.
As a result, she often sighed alone: how did she live the life of a nanny with a pension of more than 10,000 a month? She said that after living with her daughter-in-law, she has been careful, and she has no objection to anything her daughter-in-law says, even if she is too tired, she will do housework and clean up the house, because the daughter-in-law loves to be clean.
In this way, the daughter-in-law did not have the slightest gratitude to her, and rarely gave her a good look, as if the mother-in-law did these things naturally, responsibility and obligation.
She said that she couldn't stand it anymore, she was about to be depressed, and she really didn't know when such a life would be a head?
Looking at the old age of this mother-in-law after retirement, many elderly people expressed understanding and sympathy, feeling that it is not easy for mother-in-law, such an old age to take a day of children, plus doing housework, iron people can not stand it, and many elderly people said that they are experiencing such a life.
Second, "living with my daughter-in-law, I understand two points", the mother-in-law's words touched the hearts of many elderly people
In fact, the experience and perception of this retired mother-in-law and her son and daughter-in-law living together, summed up, there are a total of 2 points, and these 2 points have touched the hearts of many elderly people and resonated with many elderly people.
I feel that I am an outsider, and my son does not communicate with himself, and he feels very lonely
When she was in the home of her son and daughter-in-law, her mother-in-law felt that she was an outsider, and she did not dare to express her opinion on anything, let alone raise objections, lest her daughter-in-law have too much heart, make the family unhappy, and fear that her son would be caught in the middle and be embarrassed.
The son, who was originally very close to his mother, now comes home from work and only cares about playing games, and he can't say a few words with his mother, and it is difficult for his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to say confidants, so after a long time, the mother-in-law feels that she is an outsider in her son's daughter-in-law's home, and feels very lonely.
Especially in the dead of night, this sense of loneliness will be more intense, worried about the wife in the hometown, miss the relatives and friends in the hometown, and at this time, many mothers-in-law will have insomnia, I know several mothers-in-law in our community, all say that insomnia is serious at night, sometimes sleep badly all night.
They said that when the grandchildren went to kindergarten, they would go back to their hometowns, and then they would stay up again.
I feel like a free nanny for my son's daughter-in-law's family,
Do whatever you want
Upside down pension
Although it is said that the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law live together, the two sides will respect each other's living habits, but many mothers-in-law always feel that it seems natural to work hard in their son's home and do any work.
If you don't do it one day, but it seems abnormal, the son and daughter-in-law must clean up the home before leaving work, otherwise they are afraid that the daughter-in-law will be unhappy when she comes home and sees a mess at home.
In the son's and daughter-in-law's home, cooking, brushing pots and dishes, taking the children, washing clothes, coaxing the children to sleep, these tasks have to be done, and it feels like a free nanny.
And usually buy snacks for children, the daily expenses of the family, buy vegetables and buy fruits, etc., the elderly with pensions still have to paste the pension, so they are worried about their daughter-in-law's face.
And these two points of this mother-in-law's understanding have aroused the resonance and consensus of many elderly people, but many people suggest that this mother-in-law, since her pension is so high, why not spend money to hire a nanny and take the children with herself?
Even if you don't hire a babysitter, hire an hourly worker, and do the housework, laundry and cooking every day, it will be much easier to take care of your own children, why make yourself so tired?
III. Conclusion
The concept of "raising children and preventing the elderly" has always been deeply rooted in the hearts of the people, and many elderly people feel that it is a matter of course for them to bring children to their sons and daughters-in-law, and it is their responsibility and obligation, only in this way can their sons and daughters-in-law give themselves a pension.
Therefore, even if many elderly people are not in good health or do not adapt to life in the homes of their sons and daughters-in-law, they still persist.
Only in this process, many elderly people have endured too much pressure and fatigue, experienced a lot of sleepless nights, so, as children, we should be more considerate of the elderly, if the elderly help with children, usually chat with the elderly, do not let the elderly feel lonely.
In addition, after young people go home, try to share some housework for the elderly, try to take their children, let the elderly relax, go to square dance at night, exercise their bodies, so that they can experience the happiness and happiness of their old age.