"Some children have stomach pains as soon as they arrive at school, and many times it is caused by psychological problems."
Li Xiao, a special contributor to Oriental Weekly, edited By Qin Liudi
School season is approaching and the kids are enjoying their last few days of vacation. But Xiao Xi (pseudonym), who is in the second year of junior high school in Hefei, is not happy, he said: The pressure of studying is high, and he is upset when he thinks of returning to school.
As everyone knows, under the childish faces of children, there may be depression that others do not know. Recently, the China Children's Center and the Social Science Literature Publishing House jointly released the "Children's Blue Book: China Child Development Report (2021)", which pointed out that the mental health problems of children and adolescents are becoming more and more serious, and the incidence of depressive symptoms exceeds 26%. As early as March 2021, the "Report on the Development of China's National Mental Health (2019-2020)" also pointed out that the detection rate of depression among Chinese adolescents in 2020 was 24.6%.
This result makes many adults wonder: Why are children bothered? What are we going to do?
Why are children upset?
"Why did they scold me when I got to the top ten?" They were never happy with me. Konishi said annoyedly, his parents' high expectations of him overwhelmed him.
The Zhenjiang Mental Health Center in Jiangsu Province conducted a study of 3,544 students aged 12 to 16 in Zhenjiang and found that learning, family parenting styles, parental relationships, relationships with families, relationships with people around them, and parental expectations all have an impact on adolescent depression. Among them, learning, discord with those around them, and discord with family members are important causes of adolescent depression.
"The reasons for the family and parents are in the first place, such as many parents paying too much attention to their children, having too high expectations of their children or communicating with their children, etc., these factors can lead to children's depression." Yin Jianmin, a psychological counselor, an expert on behavioral and emotional problems in children and adolescents, and the head of the brain and body team, told Oriental Weekly.
Depression in children begins primarily during adolescence. With the precocious puberty of contemporary children, children may have depression-related problems from about the age of eight or nine.
"In fact, children are autonomous, but parents and schools often ignore, and children may not have time to express themselves and be filled with new things." The concentrated outbreak of depression problems during adolescence may be related to previously accumulated emotions. Psychological counselor Yang Cailian told this journal.
From the beginning of development, children's bodies and minds have undergone leapfrog changes, and dependence and independence coexist. They begin to explore the adult world, the body grows and changes significantly, the sense of autonomy slowly explores, and the need for peers and groups is greater. But at the same time, teenagers are financially dependent on their families, their life experience is not rich, and many problems are difficult to solve. This complicates the psychological problems of teenagers.
"According to our clinical counseling, about 60% of children were brought in by their parents for psychological counseling due to declining academic performance, but they found that their children's depression was found." Yin Jianmin said that many parents are mainly concerned about their children's learning and pay too little attention to other aspects of their children.
Children's lives have all kinds of joys and sorrows in their growth. "If a child has some special experience, it creates 'trauma'. If the trauma is not treated in time, it may erupt in adolescence. Yang Cailian said that being isolated by classmates, sexual assault, family changes, and painful moving experiences may leave psychological trauma to children. In school, teens need to adapt to their classmates around them, which can bring "peer pressure." Yang Cailian believes that the pressure brought about by comparing with classmates can also lead to anxiety and depression in children.
"I think the relationships between teenagers and extra-family can still be traced back to the original family. If the mother is anxious, the child is also more likely to have depression. Yin Jianmin believes that how teenagers view and treat the interpersonal relationships around them is inseparable from his family education and family relations. Yin Jianmin has been in contact with many "small patients" with depression and found that their parents have different problems in psychological state, family relationships, and educational methods. "If children express some thoughts and are suppressed, they may be lost, depressed, and eventually feel powerless, forming a 'learned helplessness' mentality and behavior, and then forming a depressed state."
"They don't listen to me, I don't have much to talk to them." Xiaoxi believes that his parents do not care about his ideas, so he prefers to "expand" his friends in the QQ group and chat with friends on the Internet.
Moreover, the correct educational methods and methods that parents believe may not be suitable for their children. "Every child is a different individual, and if the parents' education methods are not recognized by the children, they may not be able to achieve the desired results." Yang Cailian thinks.
Accompany your child out of depression
Although some children have long been depressed, their parents have not been aware of it. "In the early stage, parents should pay attention to the change in their children's personality, if the child takes the initiative to hint, such as indicating that there has been a lot of pressure recently, it cannot be ignored, and it is necessary to continue to dig deeper." Parents can also find out whether there are any abnormalities through the observation of their children by third parties such as teachers and classmates. Yang Cailian said.
If your child's depression progresses to a certain period of time, physical abnormalities may occur, such as stomach pain, headache, vomiting, dizziness and other symptoms. "We also have frequent contact with the neurology department of the hospital, and some children have stomach pains as soon as they arrive at school, which is often caused by psychological problems." Yin Jianmin said.
Konishi even tried cutting his hands. "It was the lightest cut, and I felt good about cutting my hands." He sent a photograph of his fingers not deeply cut, but with two short marks. In clinical diagnosis, this behavior, known as "non-suicidal self-harm," can help people with depression release stress and gain a sense of self-existence.
When parents and teachers find an abnormal situation in their children, they should pay close attention to and understand the reasons. The Lancet-Psychiatry published in September 2021, "Epidemiological Status Study on the Prevalence of Depressive Disorders and The Utilization of Health Services in China", shows that the lifetime prevalence of depression in mainland China is 6.8%, and more than 95 million people have experienced depression in their lifetime, while only 9.5% of patients with depression have been treated by at least one health service, and only 0.5% of patients have been adequately treated.
"The trauma of childhood and adolescence does not heal automatically, which is an important conclusion I have reached from more than ten years of consultation. Trauma can last a lifetime because he has never really been treated. Sometimes, time just seals it, but it doesn't change it. Only the lucky ones can attain automatic healing as life progresses. So, I would recommend looking for professionals to step in. Yang Cailian said. Over time, those lucky ones may encounter a nurturing environment, encounter valuable people and things, or seize the opportunity of life's turning point and have a meaningful new identity.
"If your child's depression is severe, go to the hospital to take medication, not just psychological counseling." Yang Cailian suggested.
As for how long adolescent depressed patients can recover after receiving treatment, Yin Jianmin believes that "it depends on the severity of depression and the degree of cooperation of the family." The encouragement and support of friends, teachers and other people around them also contribute to their recovery.
"When we help a child build an organically developing future and help him find resources for development, his life flows and the trauma flows." In fact, when children have these psychological problems or symptoms, parents can also clean up themselves together. After a few years, there may be a big metamorphosis. Yang Cailian said. When a child's emotions are stable, more confident, and social relations are more normal and harmonious, he may change sharply.
Students at Shuren Jingrui Primary School in Shapingba District, Chongqing Do "Mental Health Exercises" in Physical Education Class (Tang Yi/Photo)
Give more support to depression prevention and control
Once a child suffers from depression, it is inevitable to bring about the consumption of family resources and social resources. Therefore, the prevention of depression is particularly important.
"In school, we formulate corresponding preventive measures for the children themselves, parents and teachers, and form a 'Trinity' linkage." Yin Jianmin said. For example, to improve parents' parenting concepts and educational methods, give relevant professional guidance to teachers, and improve children's ability to resist stress through professional training. Yin Jianmin specifically mentioned that "parents should pay attention to their children in many aspects, and from the third grade of primary school, they must cultivate their children's autonomy."
Harmonious family relationships and effective educational methods help children form a healthy psychology. In the face of children's expressions and demands, parents should do "one listen, two words and three dos", listen first, then express, and finally act.
"According to the characteristics of different children, different educational methods should also be adopted." In the process of family education, it is necessary to reach a situation that everyone agrees with between children and parents and between husband and wife. Yang Cailian believes, "Moreover, instead of 'demonizing' depression, we must face up to the occurrence of depression and anxiety in adolescence, and get the sublimation of life by spending it." ”
To do this, we need the support of many forces. "Most psychological counselors belong to the direction of adults and use adult ideas to do counseling. There are very few professional counselors for children and adolescents. Yin Jianmin called on more professional consultants to enter the field of children and adolescents. According to the Epidemiological Survey Report on Mental Disorders in Children and Adolescents in China released in October 2021, nearly 50 million children and adolescents need professional treatment for mental disorders, while fewer than 500 child psychiatrists. This means that about every 100,000 children are staffed with a professional doctor, and these doctors are mainly distributed in first- and second-tier cities. Specialized medical resources need to be strengthened urgently.
More importantly, the mainland should provide extensive social support for the prevention and control of psychological problems in children and adolescents, and enhance family education and campus education. On January 1, 2022, the Law of the People's Republic of China on the Promotion of Family Education came into effect, which is providing an important opportunity for the renewal of family education.
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Beijing Brain Torso Team