Two days ago, an interview video of Cai Shaofen was on the hot search.
On the show, when the host talked to her about parenting, she mentioned that she hadn't slept in more than ten years
She mentioned that from the birth of her eldest daughter to her three children, she has been in charge of getting up in the morning. "Often at 4 a.m., my son shouted for a pacifier, and when he woke up, he couldn't sleep anymore."
She gets up at 7 o'clock in the morning and 5 o'clock in the morning, because the daughter has to eat breakfast made by her mother and tie her hair.
In addition to poor sleep, when the mother is also a disease, Cai Shaofen also mentioned that she often has to hold her son with one hand when doing things, so she falls into periarthritis.
Stir-fry with one hand on your son
Despite this remark, many netizens questioned "Are celebrities so tired?" Where is the nanny? Why do you have to do it yourself if you shout hard work?"
But there are more mothers who resonate deeply, taking care of children is not to say that people can replace it, and the heart of a mother is always hanging! Especially the mother who does everything herself and worries about it!
▽
I have a good friend who works at a newspaper, both of whom are in elementary school, and last year because of the change in family arrangements, I invited a full-time live-in aunt. Because her friend often has to work the night shift and needs to be busy until two or three o'clock at night, she especially needs someone who can share the housework, and at the same time, she can prepare breakfast in the morning and arrange the children, so she is very happy after the aunt is in place, and she can finally sleep at ease.
But after a year, she found that sleeping soundly was an illusion. It is not that the aunt is not powerful, the aunt is very experienced, all the housework is well run-in, and the children get along well, but only in the morning baby get up, the matter, always uncertain.
The first day the aunt took over and told the child to get up, because the curtains were suddenly opened, the light in the room was too fast, and the friend's daughter suddenly did not adapt, and she cried in fright. Compared to mom, auntie is indeed rougher. For example, to wake up the child, the way the friend used to sit on the edge of the bed, gently shouting in the child's ear to wake up, and then rubbing his back, kissing and hugging, and the child completed the process of getting dressed and completely awake in a laugh; the aunt told the child to get up will be relatively tough, standing outside the room directly shouting, sometimes in a hurry to add a few threatening words, the child will not cooperate.
The friend knows in his heart that the problem is not the aunt's way of being rough, but the child's anger. Because the way Dad wakes up is not necessarily more delicate than that of Auntie, in addition to the same style of curtain pulling, waking up, and even rudely lifting the quilt, but the children still obediently get up, dress, wash, honestly eat breakfast to go to school, no complaints.
On the surface, the child is afraid that outsiders are not doing well, but in fact, in the bottom of their hearts, they are just shouting "I just want mom and dad.".
Friends have thought about being fierce, after all, children also need to learn to restrain their own needs and learn to be independent, and mothers also need to learn to rest assured and take better care of their bodies.
So at first, she let the child shout every morning, she just didn't get up and didn't show up, but this did not bring the child's adaptation and peace, but the temper of the two children became bigger and bigger.
The daughter, who never got up, began to get up full of gas every day, and people were extremely sensitive; the son was even more directly dependent on not getting up.
Friends said that for a while it seemed that I didn't have to get up early every morning, but I couldn't sleep when I lay in bed, listened to the movements outside, felt the children's full of negative energy, and my heart was more tired, and I was restless all day.
After a period of time, I found that it seemed to save the physical strength to take care of children, but in exchange for a huge burden in my heart.
So in the end, I decided to struggle every day to get up and call my children, accompany my children to breakfast, and send them to school, although my body is tired, my heart is peaceful, and my children are comfortable.
When the mother is so tired, who doesn't want to let go of some heroically and take more care of herself?
Friends said that the main reason is that the heart has long been connected with the child, and only when the child is willing to let go, she may really let go.
In the eyes of others, children need a breakfast in the morning and a warm futon in the evening, but we know that they want to confirm that their mother is always by their side.
So when intuition tells us that the child still needs me, we will still firmly choose, the child first.
As a netizen said, the mother's efforts do not expect others to understand, chose to carry it themselves, not to endure, in fact, have been prepared for "cold and warm self-knowledge".
I don't know what our mom is like? For children, there are still many things that cannot be put down, or have they begun to slowly put down and gradually accept independence and separation?
In so many years of raising children, what experiences and feelings everyone has, welcome to leave a message at the bottom of the article to share. Please also remember that we must take care of ourselves at all times!