Unfilial daughter Cao Qian: Why is it so desperate to ignore her parents for 17 years and not see the last side

One day in 2020, a couple in a hospital in Dalian's Lushun District, who were nearly ancient and rare, had tearful eyes and wanted to wear their eyes, they did not expect that their old age would be so desolate!

Father Cao Zhaogang looked out the window with a sad face and said sadly: Daughter, your mother is about to die, don't hurry back to see!

After all, the old couple could not wait for their daughter and regretted it. Mother Liu Hongyu is suffering from breast cancer, take a step first, the old father hugged the body of his wife and cried: Cao Qian, your heart is so fierce! After the death of his wife, Cao Zhaogang, who was suffering from kidney cancer, lived in illness and psychological suffering all day, and could not wait for his daughter, and soon after, he died in despair and regret. With the media reports, Cao Qian was labeled as an "unfilial daughter", and people criticized her and talked about her. As bystanders, we cannot comment on it, because we have not suffered from others, but through her deeds, we can bring a little enlightenment to our children and parents!

Why is their daughter Cao Qian so desperate? Abandoned his parents for 17 years, ignored them, and never saw the last side of death. This may be related to her family education.

Born in 1979 to an ordinary family in Dalian's Lushun District, her parents were authentic farmers, facing the loess soil and turning their backs to the sky, and they couldn't earn a few dollars a year. The birth of his daughter made Cao Zhaogang see hope and pin all his hopes on his daughter.

In that patriarchal era, the Cao couple had only one daughter, which was rare at that time. The couple thought that as long as they cultivated their daughters to be talented, they would raise their daughters as "boys", and they would not have boys.

They do their best to raise Cao Qian, regard her as the "pearl in the palm", she has not been in good health since she was a child, and her parents themselves are reluctant to wear and eat to supplement their daughter's body, and they can satisfy her as much as possible to satisfy her.

Xiao Cao Qian is also very sensible, watching her parents work hard for her, only by scoring good academic results can she repay her parents' nurturing grace, and use a sheet of awards to touch her parents' hard-working sadness. When her hard-working parents came home, she told her parents stories, massaged them and beat their backs, and when the parents saw their daughter's "little cotton jacket", the day's hard work disappeared. Since elementary school, her academic performance has always been at the top of the class, and she is a proper "school bully" and a "child" of other people's families.

She is learning when someone else's child is playing, and she is still learning when someone else's child is sleeping. When Xiao Cao Qian sees her parents working so hard, she will also do some things within her power, such as doing housework (washing dishes, washing clothes, mopping the floor). When she did this, she was opposed by her father, who said to her: You don't want to touch these housework, you just have to study well! Her father instilled in her the idea of "everything is inferior, only reading is high", but ignored her cultivation of emotions and responsibilities, which is one of the reasons why she changed later.

In the face of her parents' blame, Cao Qian could only run back to the room to study hard, she also knew that her parents had suffered a loss of no culture, and she knew that "knowledge can change fate", so she worked so hard. Under the arrangement and protection of her parents, she successfully went from elementary school to high school, and her academic performance was also very good.

As Cao Qian gradually grew older, she had her own thoughts and broader insights, but her parents were still stuck at the original point and lacked emotional communication with their daughters. She felt more and more that it was difficult to breathe under the control of her parents, and she was even about to suffocate.

She wanted to escape her original family and finally waited for her chance. In 1998, she took the college entrance examination, the college entrance examination score is a few tens of points higher than the line, she wants to go to the southern metropolis to see, to see the outside world, so when the college entrance examination volunteer, he filled in three southern universities.

Cao Qian originally thought that she could escape the "control" of her parents this time, but she was "punched in the face" by reality. After volunteering to be known by his parents, his father was furious: Why do you run so far as a girl? I think Liaoning Normal University is very good! He was opposed by his father. In the end, she chose to compromise, followed the advice of her parents, and filled out "Liaoning Normal University", which was her third choice, but she did not expect to be admitted to Liaoning Normal University.

After getting the admission letter, she was not happy at all, but her parents were very happy, and Cao Qian was not admitted to the university of her choice, blaming her parents. Since then, the father and daughter have begun to have a gap, the communication between father and daughter has become less, and Cao Qian is no longer the "little cotton jacket" of her childhood!

With resentment towards her parents, Cao Qian stepped into the door of Liaoning Normal University. After entering the university, she was out of the control of her parents, she could "fly freely" and become willful.

She didn't have the heart to study professional classes in college, because it was a major she didn't like, she came from a poor background, watched her classmates dress up in a variety of ways, and went in and out of some high-end places, and she also followed them out to hang out. After a semester, I hung up several homework, not the "school bully" before. But she likes to study literature and foreign languages, Japanese in the second year of college past the second level, English past the fourth and sixth levels, which also laid the foundation for her to study abroad.

In the eyes of her classmates, she is a high-cold literary and artistic youth, and is deeply liked by her classmates. Cao Qian vented her resentment towards her parents in this way, she herself felt that it was not right to do so, so mixed up, it is estimated that the graduation certificate will not be obtained.

So, in the second semester of her sophomore year, she wanted to study abroad. At that time, a "study abroad fever" arose, and Cao Qian longed to study in Europe.

One day, Cao Qian came home from vacation and tentatively said to her father Cao Zhaogang: "I have obtained the opportunity to study abroad, I want to study abroad, go abroad gilded, and come back to work." ”

After hearing this, my father felt stunned for a moment, and was silent for a long time before he replied: "You have gone so far, and your life is not familiar, I am afraid that you will suffer!" Mother Liu Hongyu also echoed alongside.

After thinking about it for a long time, the father with a wrinkled face said to his daughter, "How much does it cost to go abroad?" ”

Cao Qian replied, "70,000." Hearing this number, my father felt that the sky was about to fall, where did I get you so much money? This 70,000 yuan was a huge amount of money at that time, and the Cao couple saved money and saved only 10,000 yuan in a lifetime.

That night the husband and wife were tossing and turning, where did the money come from? Mother Liu Hongyu said: "When this baby filled in the volunteer, she already resented us, and if she didn't meet her wishes this time, I'm afraid she would resent us even more!" ”

My father gritted his teeth and said, "I'm going to borrow money and send her to study abroad."

Early the next morning, his father, Cao Zhaogang, visited relatives and friends, regardless of his face and whispered, he went to his relatives and friends to borrow money without borrowing money. Later, there was really no way, Cao Zhaogang put pressure on his sister to borrow 60,000 yuan.

The father wrapped the borrowed money in a few circles in newspaper, and when he gave it to his daughter, the daughter was not happy, did not say a word of "thank you", and took the money and left without looking back.

This walk, however, is a farewell.

In 2000, Cao Qian came to Germany, far less simple than she thought. Because of the language barrier, she had no way to communicate, went to work part-time, and studied German for two years. During this period, her father sent her more than 30,000 yuan one after another. Her family hollowed out her family for studying abroad, leaving her father under huge debt pressure.

In the first few years of studying in Germany, Cao Qian would occasionally call home, but because the cost of making international long-distance calls was very expensive, she could only make long talks short, and finally did not forget to remind her father that it was time to call money, there was no money to use! But do not ask how the parents are living at home, how are they in good health?

Every time you call, you know that you want money, you only have money in your eyes, where you are asking for money, you are asking for our lives!

The father finally broke out in every selfish "begging for money" from his daughter. Cao Zhaogang's violent temper became uncontrollable. On the overseas side, Cao Qian took the phone and listened to the harsh words coming from her father's side, and all the resentment surged into her heart, and she was even more dissatisfied with her father.

Not to be outdone, Cao Qian yelled at the phone: I will never ask you for money again! After saying that, he hung up the phone angrily. On the father's side, he felt regret after saying that, but his daughter did not give him the opportunity to apologize.

After falling out with her family, Cao Qian became independent and hoped to support herself, but the reality was cruel. After ten months, she was forced to call home.

I thought you were really dead and never contacted us again! Father Cao Zhaogang involuntarily said a bunch of scolding, and then hurriedly hung up the phone. On the other end of the phone, Cao Qian did not return to her senses, why did her father, who had always been kind, become so grumpy! Since then, she has broken with her family.

Liu Hongyu, the mother on the side, blamed Cao Zhaogang: You old man, your daughter called hard, you actually hung up. Lao Cao said that he did not hold back for a while, his temper came up, and after he said it, he fell into a deep self-blame.

Since that phone call in 2003, Cao Qian has stopped contacting her family, ignored her parents, and has not heard from her parents for 17 years.

Parents on the other end of the phone, anxiously eager to call, day after day, year after year, but always future calls. In the blink of an eye to 2020, the old couple who are eager to think of the daughter both suffer from cancer, seeing that their wife's time is short, and wanting to see the last side of their daughter, Cao Zhaogang began to fight the whereabouts of his daughter and began to ask the media for help.

Through the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, he contacted the Chinese Consulate in Hamburg, Germany, for help, and the consulate mobilized Chinese and overseas Chinese in Germany to help find Cao Qian. Thanks to the efforts of many people, Cao Qian was found, she is currently a professor at the University of Munich in Germany, married and has a family, but she refuses to return to China to visit her parents. The mother, Liu Hongyu, never saw her daughter for the last time, and left with regrets, and soon after, her father Cao Zhaogang also died. Cao Qian, on the other hand, was indifferent abroad and did not see the last side.

What is even more infuriating is when someone asks Cao Qian: Why don't you go back to China to visit your parents? She growled and said, "Their perverted control over me made it impossible for me to breathe, and I left home to come to Germany just to escape them!" ”

When the news reached China, public opinion was in an uproar, and Cao Qian's uncle was furious and scolded: "She is just an unfilial son!" ”

We all say that the crow knows how to feed, and the lamb knows how to kneel, let alone a man?

Cao Qian's reason for her parents' 17 years of indifference must not be escaped by the control of her parents, no matter how much your parents have caused you, they have given us life, we cannot ignore it.

Her parents cultivated her with hard work, hollowed out the family foundation, and also hollowed out the body, but in the end it was such an ending, resulting in the ending of Lao Cao and his wife, perhaps related to their education methods, in the process of Cao Qian's family education, her parents only paid attention to her academic performance, and ignored the cultivation of her emotions and personality, which was controlled by her parents. We as parents should learn to let go properly and let them grow up freely and happily.

Cao Qian is now a professor at a famous University in Germany, and her career is successful, but her life is a failure, and her psychology is distorted. Over time, she may feel a little guilty about her parents.