The family is the soil for children to grow, and whether children are confident or inferior depends on the parents' parenting style.
A psychology professor at Stanford University, through a survey of children from hundreds of families, found that those children who grow up with negative inferiority have striking similarities in their family education environment, and the tragedy of children growing up is often caused by unreasonable family education from an early age.
If parents cannot find the lack of education for their children in time, so that children have inferiority complex, it is tantamount to ruining the child's life.
Today I will share with you, Stanford University professors summarized 4 kinds of family education that is easy to make children have inferiority, parents hurry up to see if there is a "stroke".
If such a phenomenon exists in your family, you must quickly change it, and do not affect the growth of your child because of negligence.
01
Families that are prone to cause children to have inferiority
Likes to count down children
Many parents are happy to compare and like to count their children when they get home:
"How can you be so stupid, the neighbor's children are much better than you."
"Learning is so bad, it's fun to play!"
This is a mantra that many parents like, but we don't know that our seemingly careless counts will hurt the child's young mind, so that they are not confident and feel that they are inferior to others in everything they do.
Excessive thriftiness
Diligence and thrift are the virtues of the Chinese nation, but everything is too late, many parents in order to cultivate the habit of frugality from an early age, often "cry poor" in front of their children, or do not give their children pocket money, do not buy things for their children and so on.
As everyone knows, such a way will make children have an "inferiority" mentality in their hearts, feel that they are very poor, and dare not go out to play and chat with their classmates. Because of the "poor thoughts" instilled by parents, they unconsciously produce a feeling of "inferiority" in their hearts, which affects normal social relationships.
Families who use violence
Many parents do not pay attention to the behavior in front of their children, such as arguing or fighting in front of their children.
Such a scene accompanied by domestic violence can cause serious trauma to the child's young mind, or make the child's temper become grumpy.
The church of words and deeds from his parents gave him the false perception that violence solves everything.
Both parents are strong
Some families have a very strong personality, which is also reflected in the child's usual words and deeds, not allowing the child to do this, not allowing the child to do that, if the child once done wrong, it will attract a very severe punishment, never communicate with the child, think that the filial piety under the stick, such education will only make the child more and more inferior.
For children, the real education is from the long-term companionship of parents, every child hopes that parents can hear their inner voice, and many parents ignore this and always force their own ideas on their children, whether the child wants to or not.
If parents are willing to communicate with them carefully, they will find a lot of things that move you, and it is not the children who are bad, but the complex hearts of our adults.
02
Confident children
Often from these families
Parents are willing to spend time with them
Children who are not accompanied by their own parents, but who are brought up by their relatives around them, are difficult regrets for children and parents. The growth of children needs the company of parents, and it is impossible to miss it until it is a last resort.
Carrie Lam - hong Kong's first female chief executive, the fifth chief executive of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region, a strong political woman. Who's to say she's not busy at work? But she was also an excellent mother, and her two sons were admitted to Cambridge University.
She once said in an interview:
"When my two children were young, I never hired a worker, and I personally cooked everything, and I thought this was very important, and the children should feel that their mothers were taking care of them."
In her heart, career is important, but for the companionship of children is also intolerable negligence, when the child is admitted to the United Kingdom, she will apply for transfer to London to work, the family are living in London, better care of the children.
Children who have the company of their parents are strong and excellent at heart!
Harmonious family atmosphere
There is a saying: family harmony, no matter how poor you can make a fortune! The family is the soil, and the family atmosphere is the air and water, which is invisible but plays a vital role in the child's life. In life, children with a tense family atmosphere and character defects abound.
Some people are very anxious from childhood because of the disharmonious relationship between their parents, careful in doing things, and very inferior, and they do not know how to deal with their emotional relationships when they grow up.
Some people because their parents always quarrel, stay at home is very depressed, always have time to go out to play games on the Internet, wait until the university, volunteer to fill in a city far from home, can not go home as much as possible not to go home!
The family atmosphere is not harmonious, the child will be extremely insecure, it is not surprising to become introverted and inferior, and the children cultivated by the harmonious family are always sunny and cheerful, and they are willing to communicate.
Know how to respect children
Zhou Guoping said: Loving children is an instinct, and respecting children is a kind of upbringing. Respect means treating the child as an individual, not condescending to criticize the child and deny the child. We can also listen to what is really going on in our children's hearts.
There are many daughters of Huang Lei in the second season of "Where Did Daddy Go", and everyone is not strangers. The 8-year-old Duoduo has been the role of a big sister throughout the show, taking care of her younger siblings and receiving praise from many parents. Although the star has its own aura, how many people can understand the efforts behind Huang Lei.
In Huang Lei's educational philosophy, respect comes first. In the show, Huang Lei mostly entrusts many things to her to solve, rather than treating her as a child, which is the greatest respect given to children. It is precisely because of this respect that Duoduo can become the most responsible and confident child in the show!
Confident children, in the future society can bring him more, he will be able to get more opportunities, and their self-confidence, in childhood has decided eight points, so has not yet done the above points of the family, parents should pay more attention.
Starting today, give children respect and focus on cultivating children's self-confidence, so that children can show their fists in the future.
Article source: Tencent Culture
Image source: DE Future Bootcamp
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