Fiction: Meet the Poet

Meet the poet

The fish drove, together with his wife, ready to cross the vast Qinling Mountains, to the city, in a publication, to meet the editor.

When Yu'er was in school in the city, because he made a bet with a classmate, he published an article in the school newspaper, and the classmate gave him a braised pork and fell in love with reading and writing.

Before this, the fish had not read many books or written many articles. The composition is also not excellent, barely written smoothly. He also did not show a talent for writing, nor did he have the yearning to read and write.

However, that night, before going to bed, he said to the school newspaper posted on the door that there was something to look at in the article above.

Then, a classmate with glasses said to him, then you publish an article on it, and I will give you a braised pork.

When he finished, he smiled contemptuously, and so did his dorm roommates. The glasses-wearing classmates, their eyes, full of contempt.

Yu'er felt that his self-esteem was humiliated by the eyes of his glasses classmates and the laughter of his roommates, and although he didn't say anything, he secretly made up his mind in his heart, wait! I must publish an article in the school newspaper.

The fish's habits and personality have since changed. Whenever he had time, he no longer wandered the streets, but went to the library and borrowed books to read. Fish read ancient and modern Chinese and foreign masterpieces, but also read the books of writers he likes. The fish also began to practice writing and writing. If you are satisfied with the writing, you will submit it to the manuscript box of the school newspaper. The manuscript box was a little tall, and the fish let a tall man in the class vote for him.

Not long after a night of self-study, Yu'er was reading a book, and the teacher of the school newspaper suddenly found him and told him that the article he had written was well written, and let him copy it with checkered manuscript paper and re-submit it to the school newspaper manuscript box.

After some time, the school newspaper was sent down, and there was this article about fish on it. The moment the fish saw it, his head was a little dizzy, and his heart was particularly heroic and proud, and he said to himself in his heart, my article was published in the school newspaper, and I finally published an article in the school newspaper.

At night, back in the dormitory, facing the glasses, the roommates in the dormitory, there is a sense of happiness. However, the glasses seem to have long forgotten their bet with him and did not give him braised pork. The roommates in the dormitory also seem to have forgotten to taunt and humiliate him.

However, because of this, the fish fell in love with reading and vowed to write for his own pursuit.

At that time, there were several writers in the literary world, especially red, and the hearts of the fish, thinking that in the future, they would be able to become people like these writers who could cause a sensation in the literary world.

The dream of the fish, from the first article in the school newspaper, until this time, people to forty, years past the confused, no matter where, experienced, has never given up, in the search, pursuit. The difference is that in my heart, I read and write as if I were the same as I was at the beginning, and I want to become famous and become a family, sensationalize the literary world, and gain fame and fortune. Rather, it is regarded as a way of life that is attached to the heart.

The dream of the fish began from his youth, when he was full of vitality and vitality. At this time, youth is no longer there, vitality and vitality, and then dissipated in the years, life. The forehead is shiny and bloated and disproportionate.

The fish insisted on his dream, and the fish were very tired and bitter for this perseverance.

He thought he had read a lot of books, he had read the life he had experienced, and then he thought he had written a lot of articles. Essays, novels, poems. With dreams, submissions from all directions. However, except for the occasional rejection, the rest is basically sunk.

This is true of the first dream, the experience of the dream, and the situation at this time. Occasionally there are publications, and it's like an air crash, as rare as winning the lottery.

At the beginning, in the face of such a situation, after a moment of disappointment and loss, let the fish pluck up more courage, more and more courageous. I read and wrote fiercely. Eager to become famous and start a family, eager to be vigorous.

However, after experiencing a series of changes. The change of family, the death of relatives. Emotional change, betrayal of loved ones. Changes in work, in the unit can not be the leader's like, appreciation, belittling everywhere, frequent transfers, people have not been home to feel the food, as if they have been drifting. Either on the road or in the middle of wandering. This fish, in his dream, woke up and saw the reality.

In addition to seeing the reality clearly and facing the miserable rain of reality, while still waiting for his dreams, the difference is that it is no longer like the beginning, in order to become famous and vigorous. It's a way of pinning down the heart. In reading and writing, the power that words bring to him is enough to make the fish resist all the pain, disaster, and ups and downs in reality. On the contrary, the more disasters and pains, the stronger his heart, on the contrary, the stronger he is, and finally, he has a rock-like heart, facing reality, life, and the suffering that comes on him.

In such a state, in a flash, the life of the fish has come to middle age, not confused age. I saw the world clearly, and I saw through fame and fortune. The heart also faded and calmed down.

At this time, the fish also have a complete family and children. Work well, family are good, living a plain, peaceful life together.

Yu'er also bought a house in a small county, also learned to drive, and bought an ordinary domestic car. When you feel dull and depressed, you will drive around, walk around, enjoy the fresh scenery, breathe fresh air, and feel the fresh people.

What the fish are still waiting for is reading and writing. Not for fame and fortune, but for the sake of sustenance.

Every day, outside of work, the only thing in their free time is reading and writing.

However, although the fish still thinks that he has read many books, ancient and modern Chinese and foreign classics. He also boasted that he had written many articles, novels, essays, and poems, but when he threw them out, he was basically still a stone sinking into the sea.

In the face of unbundered age, the past, are all memories, the future, in addition to the desire for family peace, children grow up healthy, than their own happiness, is life and death, in addition to life and death, there is no content. The road ahead, straight and seemingly at a glance, can see the bottom, there is no superfluous content.

In the face of the hurried flowing years, in the river of years, it is destined to become more and more old life. The fish have a sense of urgency. In the face of reading and writing, there is also a desolate and tragic feeling. Especially when quietly, quietly staring at the bookshelf, reading so many books, writing so many articles, the fish's heart, only a bitter smile. Like a soldier who has one heart and one heart, but eventually loses the battle.

Although, in the face of reading and writing, there is no longer a desire for fame and fortune, but I can't bear to let go, still insisting, is the way to pin my heart. Even if it ends in failure, although it is sad, just like the fallen soldiers need to have a place to land and bury their bodies, the fish are also eager to give these books, the articles he wrote, to have an account, so that they will have their destination in the future.

Books, the fish think well, if the child likes to read, give it to the child, if the child does not like to read, donate to the school, or which library. These articles, how to pin themselves on them, let them have their own home!

The fish wanted to burn them, and they were a little reluctant to face the most beautiful time of their lives. To publish, he could not afford to publish. I also thought about it, published it, and show it to whom! The rest is empty, hopelessly hanging on the miscellaneous network, self-destructive.

The fish faced his article and thought of several destinations. However, I can't think of a way out.

Suddenly, one day, he made a decision to cross the Qinling Mountains and go to the ancient capital, the editorial department that he had always longed for and pinned his dreams on, to see what the editorial department looked like, the appearance of those editors, and then, listening to their suggestions and opinions, perhaps in the hopelessness, he could find hope, in the absence of a destination, the articles written for him, find the destination.

Thinking about it, Yu'er told his wife what he thought, and his wife was very supportive, so he drove over the Qinling Mountains with his wife, went to the city, went to the city, he submitted articles for many years, and went to the editorial department that was enshrined in his heart.

The fish drove out of the ravine of their hometown in one go, over a small mountain beam, and went down to the dark asphalt road, along the dark asphalt road, through the deserted mountains, through the village, to the town. The town is still the same, on a gentle slope, to cross the asphalt road, for the street, on both sides of the street, are two or three storeys of houses, the ground floor frontage, open a variety of shops. The streets are full of people, people coming and going, it's not busy. The fish did not stop in the town, crossed the town, followed the road, went up the river, and began to drive in the ditch, on both sides of the road, there were high mountains, and between the mountains, it was a road, and there was a flowing river outside the road. Gradually, driving out of the ditch, the road is on the hillside, fluttering like a belt, and the sky above the head is open. On both sides of the road, there are all kinds of trees. The leaves of the trees are turquoise, and among the green leaves, there are some flowers in full bloom. The sky overhead, blue, with gentle clouds, the sun is clear and hot. The wind is gentle and brings coolness.

This road, this mountain beam, the fish are very familiar, when they were young, they walked through, when they bought a car, they often drove, over the Qinling Mountains, to the plains outside the mountains, in the city. It's just, I never thought of going to the editorial office of the city's publication.

The fish knew that this mountain beam had separated them from the other side of the mountain. On the other side of the mountain, there is an endless plain, which is lively, wonderful and prosperous. On this side of the mountain, there are continuous mountains, nature, and dead silence.

The fish are very familiar with this road that crosses the Qinling Mountains and connects the mountains with the cities outside the mountains, and is already familiar with the cities outside the mountains, knowing that there are scenic spots and monuments, city walls, bell towers, and big wild goose pagodas. However, he was not familiar with the people and things there, nor with the dreams he had been waiting for, nor with the people who guarded the temple of his dreams.

The fish felt that they had dreamed for so many years and longed for so many years. At this time, when people reach middle age, they are no longer confused, and they suddenly surge with passion, going to the temple of dreams, the editorial department to see, and see the editor's ideas, and they are excited. Heroic and tragic is not easy.

The fish followed the familiar road and looked at the familiar scenery along the way, crossed the Mountain Beam of Qinling Mountain, followed the road wrapped around the mountain, and went outside the mountain and into the city.

In Yu'er's heart, thinking that he was going to go to the hall of dreams and the editorial office at this time, his heart was extremely calm, and he seemed to feel that he should have gone, and he should have gone a long time ago. After going there, what will be seen, what will be seen, what will be heard, how to do, how to say, the fish do not think. Just thinking, when you get to that place, everything will be said again. At this time, the fish's heart was exceptionally calm and driving smoothly.

The fish drove out of the mountains and onto the endless plains. The road was wide and straight. On both sides of the road, there are large fields, and in the fields, there are green wheat seeds and wheat waves.

Gradually, with villages and towns, through villages and towns, the city is in front of you. The streets crisscrossed, people, cars, high-rise buildings, one next to the other.

Yu'er's heart began to tense, and he had a feeling like he had joined the ocean, feeling suffocated and depressed. There is also some nervousness, very cautious driving, afraid of being scratched by others, but also afraid of scratching others.

Going to the city, driving for a while, the fish saw the side of the road, there were vehicles parked, and there was an empty position, just on the empty position on the side of the road, parked the car, got out of the car, locked the door, and his wife, took a taxi, and went directly to the ancient capital, the palace-like place he longed for in his dreams.

The fish said the address, and the taxi driver was as familiar as he was in his own home, clinging to the criss-crossing street, turning over and turning over for a while, it was so fast and smooth. In a few moments, the walls of the ancient capital were in sight, and looking at the quaint walls, the fish felt so familiar and kind.

Through the city wall, the bell tower is also looking, the golden top, shining, the eaves of the four walls, resolutely stretched.

Bypassing the bell tower, crossing the street, turning into a quiet street, the street is not wide, the sides are covered with French plane trees, the leaves of the trees are very luxuriant, and the streets are like tunnels made of trees, so quiet.

Shortly after entering the street, the driver stopped the car and said to the fish, "It's here." Then, giving the fish a mouth, the fish looked across the street and saw a round-arched marble door opening with a sign hanging from the door, which was the place he was looking for.

The fish came to the door, went to the gate, and there was a middle-aged man in the concierge, fat, and asked him, who are you looking for?

The fish said, I am an author, I want to go to the newsroom, meet the editor, and talk about my article.

The concierge took one look at him, pointed him to a three-story building in the innermost part of the courtyard, and said to the fish, "It's on the third floor of that building."

The fish was excited, said thank you, and asked his wife to wait at the downstairs door, and he went in.

The courtyard is not large, in the yard, there is a cement yard, next to the yard, there are quaint buildings made of green bricks, and there are flowers and trees, so that the courtyard looks elegant and quiet.

The fish's heart was particularly excited, and his mind was racing, as if he were walking towards a dream, toward the innermost part of the courtyard, a three-story building.

In the heart of the fish, he thought, from his youth, he began to dream, to contribute to the publications of this place, this place, for him, is so mysterious, that is, heaven, palace.

However, the fish felt that in the small courtyard, in addition to the flowers and trees, the environment was quiet, and it was far from the paradise and palace of the dream.

Further to the three-story building, the stairway floor, is a black cement floor, the walls are mottled, some are worn, but also shattered the dreams of the fish, let the fish feel disappointed.

The fish did not expect that in the dream, literature, this place where dreams are placed, thinks so beautiful, but in reality, it is so mottled and shabby.

However, this place is still mysterious and sacred to the fish.

The fish followed the stairway to the third floor. Follow the aisle and go forward. On the door, there were indeed some signs, telling him that this was indeed the editorial office of the journal, pinning his dreams, making him think of a place as sacred as a palace.

On the walls on both sides of the aisle, there are also some calligraphy and paintings, all of which are celebrity calligraphy paintings, and some authors have heard of the names, which makes the fish feel elegant and sacred.

Further on, when the fish saw a house with the editor-in-chief hanging in the doorway, he was bold, plucked up his courage, and knocked on the door.

After a few knocks, the door opened, and a man appeared at the door, tall, and very thin, with a polite, literati look.

The fish said excitedly, Hello editor-in-chief, I am an author, I have submitted many years of manuscripts to this journal, but it has not been published, and now people are middle-aged, waiting for no hurry, can not stay up, want to come to see, can I talk to you?

The editor-in-chief didn't say anything, signaling that he could go in.

Once inside, the editor-in-chief closed the door and motioned for him to sit down at a table.

The fish looked very excited and restrained. The first time I came to this dream place, the first time I saw the editor-in-chief of the journal, I had the same feeling as in a dream.

The editor-in-chief's room was not large, facing the door, and there was a window, and in front of the window, there was a table, a chair, and sitting facing the door. On one side of the wall, there is a sofa. But whether it's on the couch or on the table, there are books everywhere. If it is the editor-in-chief's office, it is better to say that it is a study, or a library.

On the table, in the stacked books, there are also small sculptures, paper, pens, notebooks, so that people can smell the atmosphere of culture.

After the fish sat down, the editor-in-chief made tea for the fish and brought it to the table, and the fish took it very rigidly, even saying thank you.

The editor-in-chief was in a chair, facing the table, and sat down opposite the fish.

The fish is still restrained, politely saying something, the editor-in-chief's serious face, with a smile, said to the fish, don't be so rigid, polite, let it go, since you come, it is a friend, otherwise, too polite, humble, to let people look at it is a small place of people.

The fish said, yes, yes.

Yu'er introduced to the editor-in-chief, who is he, whose books he likes to read, how to write articles, and has written for so many years, from youth to middle age, writing more, publishing less, but not much gain. However, he couldn't bear to give up his literary dream, so he took the opportunity to come to the editorial department to see.

The editor-in-chief said that they have all written at such an age, and they have not yet had their own thoughts and opinions, and if they write according to the style of others, what else can they write.

Yu'er wanted to say that I was also making changes, trying to break through, and have my own style, but I didn't say it.

The editor-in-chief continued, in fact, like me, I also came out of the countryside, I am also a bitter child, and my fate is also equally bumpy. Before the age of ten, he was fostered in Xining, and it was not until he was ten years old that he returned to his hometown to study, and he has been studying in a school in his hometown, but, in the words of a famous writer at present, it is the smallest university in the world, and I am embarrassed to say it. After graduating from there, I first taught, then I wrote novels, and then I went to a unit in the city, and now I am in the ancient capital, and this unit edits publications, but no longer writes novels, but writes poetry.

The fish listened quietly and felt that the editor-in-chief came step by step, which was indeed hard and not easy. However, what a happy thing for him to come to this point at this time, to be able to edit publications in this ancient capital unit, and do what he likes! Yu'er knew that no matter how he dreamed, struggled, and tossed, he would not have the result of the editor-in-chief at this time, and he would not be able to escape the countryside for a lifetime.

Yu'er and the editor-in-chief talked about writing, which is difficult to publish at this time.

The editor-in-chief sighed and said that twenty years ago, writing may be famous and easy, it is a matter of a few people, and now, the culture has generally improved, and twelve years of education have been popularized, plus with computers and broadband, writing is no longer a matter for a few people, and anyone can write. Writing is not to be named, it is indeed difficult to publish. There are still so many publications in twenty years, but how many people are writing at this time! Of course, it's hard to publish. However, just think of it as a hobby, don't think of it as a career, and don't think that you can make a living from it, which is a hobby.

The fish listened and immediately understood the reality. I also immediately felt like a dream, hoping that time could be turned back, no longer with glasses a braised meat, not reading, not writing, literary dreams. I don't want to become famous or have a family. The fish have a feeling of being deceived and fooled. However, the years are hurried, and in a flash, he will reach middle age, not young, empty and feel deceived and fooled.

The fish still wanted to say something, asked something, and didn't know what to say, what to ask. Just ask the editor-in-chief, in his editor-in-chief publication questions, the editor-in-chief said, their publication process, with the manuscript, are first given to the responsible editor, the responsible editor, the second trial, to the second trial, to the second trial, to the meeting. He also said to the fish that they could only send out forty or fifty manuscripts per issue of their publications, but the number of manuscripts could reach thirty or forty thousand.

Listening, the fish felt even more that thousands of troops and horses had crossed the single wooden bridge, and they felt even more depressed and desperate. It feels even more cruel. He felt that the literary dream, for him, was destined to be a literary dream, which would be difficult to realize in a lifetime. And thinking about the painstaking pursuit for a decade or two, but also thinking about reading so many books, there are so many manuscripts, and I don't know whether after understanding reality, wake up from the dream, no longer have literary dreams, or continue to do this hopeless dream silly.

The fish thought, which kind of ending, is not good. Just give up the literary dream, read so many books, so many manuscripts, how to do it, how to give his literary dream, life to make a complete summary. And persistence, facing reality, is also so hopeless, let him feel that in the dark, in the crowd of people running forward, it is never difficult to see the sun, the light.

Suddenly, Yu'er looked at the editor-in-chief, looked at his room, listened to the faint sound of the city, felt extremely depressed in his heart, and his eyes were blackened.

The fish didn't know what to ask again. The editor-in-chief was suddenly silent, took out a thin notebook, and hurriedly wrote something on it. After writing for a while, the editor-in-chief stopped, and The Fish noticed that in the editor-in-chief's hut, in addition to the stacked books, it was such a notebook. Yu'er thought that the poet Xu was inspired, so he casually wrote poems in his notebook.

The fish no longer bothered the editor-in-chief, but he was reluctant to take this opportunity and did not want to leave, so he picked up the cup and took a sip of tea. While drinking tea, he looked around the editor-in-chief's room, felt that the editor-in-chief's room was full of cultural atmosphere, and also felt that the editor-in-chief's work at this time, such a way of life, was the life of his dreams. However, he will never enter such a life.

After writing for a while, the editor-in-chief's phone suddenly rang, and the editor-in-chief answered the phone. On the phone, someone asked the editor-in-chief for a manuscript, and the person who asked for the manuscript seemed to be very familiar with the editor-in-chief, and the words spoken were also very casual. The fish did not know what they were talking about, but felt that the editor-in-chief's words were very profound. It was a realm of straight access to the gods, and some of it was beyond his comprehension. And the editor-in-chief's expression is also very rich, for a while, like a naughty child, dancing with his hands. For a moment, he looked serious, righteous, and like a saint and a philosopher.

The fish did not remember many words, only remembered that the editor-in-chief said that people write articles, they must have their own thoughts, otherwise they write something. Speaking of music, the editor-in-chief said that the frog call is the sound of nature, not music, real music, from the soul, touching the heart. The editor-in-chief also said that in the face of all natural things, people are so humble, and humble people are not even a gravel. He also said, and a group of people, went to a famous mountain, those people giggled, came back to write poetry, it was also so casual. The editor-in-chief said that it was facing the mountain, spitting, and the phlegm was full of bacteria.

The editor-in-chief called for a long time. The fish drank tea quietly, listened to some of his words, held his breath, and did not dare to disturb the editor-in-chief.

After a long time, the editor-in-chief's phone call was finished. Still open that thin notebook to write something. Yu'er thought that the editor-in-chief Xu was inspired to write something, or what work to do. Here he is to disturb the editor-in-chief.

And the editor-in-chief, completely intoxicated in his words and thoughts, also forgot his existence.

Yu'er felt that although he envied the editor-in-chief's work and life, in the face of the editor-in-chief's thoughts and the words of the editor-in-chief, suddenly, he felt that he had read many books, written many things, and knew a lot. However, I felt that he was so lonely, his thoughts were so shallow, and he was so humble. Suddenly, I felt so inferior and shy, I didn't dare to look at the editor-in-chief, and I didn't dare to stay in this room more. However, I still couldn't bear to leave, so I said to the editor-in-chief, Teacher, do you have any books, give me a few, and I will go back to read and read.

The editor-in-chief looked up from his notebook, seemed to notice his presence, smiled and said to him, shouting at any teacher, friend. Got up, found two books in the stack behind him, signed them, and gave them to him.

The editor-in-chief's words are very neatly written. The editor-in-chief's words, very polite, let him be elegant.

Yu'er took the book, couldn't bear to bother the editor-in-chief anymore, and felt shy, got up and prepared to leave. The editor-in-chief sent him to the door with a smile on his face.

The fish took the book, as if in a dream, and went downstairs, through the courtyard, out of the gate. The wife sat at the door waiting for him. Seeing him coming, get up and walk alongside him.

It's not a wide, somewhat secluded street. On both sides of the street, the branches of the French plane trees are luxuriant, and the streets are like tunnels made of trees. On the street, there are not many cars, and there are not many pedestrians next to the street. However, there is still a faint sound of the city.

Yu'er said to his wife, met the editor-in-chief, and gave me two books.

The fish walked and opened the book. Both books are collections of poems. The two poems are the same, some poems the fish understand, some poems, the fish look at, like in the clouds and fog, do not understand at all. Fish like, in these poems, are pinned on the thoughts of the editor-in-chief, some of which he cannot reach and understand.

Yu'er thought that the editor-in-chief's thoughts were so profound, and the novels he wrote seemed so shallow and direct, like boiling water, and like the mud in the village, how could they be on the editor-in-chief's journal!

Thinking about it, the fish closed the book, felt so inferior, felt that reading, writing, literature, publishing articles in the publications of this ancient capital, was so far away from him.

The fish's heart was particularly heavy, and there was a burst of darkness in front of his eyes. Suddenly, I felt that I could not see hope by sticking to literature. And to give up, in the face of writing so many villages, and can not bear.

Gradually, I walked forward and crossed the quaint city wall, which was a wide street. On the street, there are cars coming and going. On the side of the street, people also come and go. The high-rise buildings are next to each other, and the city is so bustling and lively. Facing the ancient capital, The fish felt so humble and inferior that they could not find themselves.

The fish had no direction, their mood was dark, and they couldn't find their own way to walk. I don't know whether to take advantage of the free time to stay in the ancient capital and look for the hope of literature, or to go home to the countryside like this, in obscurity, and despair, gradually stopping reading and writing, and giving up the dream I once had.

Just then, the phone rang, it was a text message. The fish looked at the sound, it was sent by the city's traffic police, telling him that his car was parked illegally, was towed away by a trailer, dragged to a parking lot, to be treated there, and then picked up the car.

Yu'er went to the editorial department, and after meeting the editor-in-chief, his heart felt dark and heavy, and he got the car illegally parked and dragged away, and suddenly felt that the sky was dark at once, and he came to the city with hope, and the disappointment came one after another. Meet the poet, let people know the reality of literature, but also know their own smallness, humility, for literature, both full of hope, can not bear to give up, to draw a complete end to their own life, let the heart be solid, know this life or, have had a dream, did a favorite thing. And feel vague, in the face of literature, feel that the road is dark, and thousands of troops and horses together, running in the dark passage, can not see the sun, will also be engulfed, in literature, can not pin hope, can not find hope. And the car, it was dragged away, where the specific location was, how to deal with it, and what price to pay. The fish did not know, only felt, the heart was blank, but also anxious. No more thinking about reading, writing, literature. Although I feel that the editor-in-chief's thinking is profound and the poems are well written, at this time, in the face of reality, the things encountered, I feel that what the editor-in-chief says is also as pale, holding the poetry collection he gave, it is also so pale, facing reality, there is no power. He gave the book to his wife and asked her to hold it. He was on the street, hurrying along, taking a taxi as he went, and rushing to the place where he had been notified.

When the wife knew, she was just as heavy and anxious.

Not long after, the car arrived, the fish took out the mobile phone, let the driver see the address, the driver knew, and drove to the place quickly and smoothly.

The car seemed to be being dragged far away. The taxi pulled the anxious fish and his wife through one street and another. One turn, one more turn. Along the way, we saw the bustling, wonderful and lively city. I also saw the secluded and dilapidated nature of the city's remote places. It's a bustling, bustling, wonderful city, but also a secluded, run-down place. The fish looked at the tall buildings in the city, the crisscrossing streets, the passing vehicles, the bustling crowds, and suddenly felt that literature was so small, pale, and humble in the face of the city. He also thought about the things he encountered, and suddenly felt that in the face of the things he encountered, in the face of this city, he was also equally small and humble. It's like dripping water flowing into the sea, instantly silent. It is also like floating dust, blown by the wind, it disperses, and there is no trace.

The fish were anxiously rushing to the place in such a dark psychology, which was a suburb of the city, where houses were being built, there were large open spaces, there were tower cranes, and tower cranes, a little tall building.

The fish's car was parked in a large open space where construction of houses had not yet begun. The open space was surrounded by a fence. Got out of the car, on the inside of the road, there was a door, and the door was blocked with a lever. Inside the railing, there is a row of temporary movable board rooms. In front of the board room, there was a man and a woman, two middle-aged people, watching. Inside the lever, in front of the movable board room, several large dogs were chained, their eyes wide open, and they were screaming, which was strange and frightening.

The fish and his wife came to the door and asked the people at the door, and they said that his car was inside. To get out, you have to pay the parking fee, you need some formalities, and then, accept the penalty.

Fortunately, the fish's car procedures are all complete, and they are also carried on the body, otherwise, the fish will think that the car cannot be taken out for a while.

According to the requirements of these two middle-aged men and women, the fish went to copy the procedures required to pick up the car. Copy shop, just open in the parking lot door not far away, the fish and wife went, asked, the price of the copy, especially expensive, however, the nearby are under construction site, there is no place to copy, the fish had to be in this copy shop rich procedures, and then, to the parking lot to pick up the car.

After going there, the fish learned that some people had incomplete procedures, or some of them had expired procedures, and the car was dragged in, and it was not easy to take it away. You need to complete the formalities, and the expired ones must be dealt with before you can pick up the car. And in the parking lot, parking a car for a day, is twenty dollars. In the large open space for parking, cars are densely parked. The trailers, constantly busy, came in after a while, parked the car, and went out again.

Looking at those who were incomplete and expired, the fish broke out in a cold sweat, looked at their anxious looks, and congratulated themselves.

However, the two middle-aged men and women, to him, said that the procedures are complete, but also have to wait for a while the traffic police to come, after the audit, can pick up the car, call the parking lot fee, accept the illegal fine, can go.

The fish's heart, from anxiety, calmed down, and sat in the doorway, quietly waiting. Nearby, the dogs, with their eyes wide open, staring at the people entering and leaving the parking lot, there was a little commotion, and the dogs barked, which was very scary.

The fish also took the air, and asked the middle-aged man how much it cost to take the car like him. The man told him that if the formalities were reviewed, the parking lot was twenty dollars, the violation fine, a hundred dollars, but there was no need to pay it at this time, before the car was reviewed, it was enough to pay it.

After listening, Yu'er felt that compared with those who had incomplete procedures or expired, he did not spend much money on this matter, and felt fortunate and comforted in his heart.

Next to the yard, there was a water heater and a water cup, and the fish took the cup, took the water, and drank slowly. The mood gradually calmed down, quietly waiting for the traffic police to come.

However, at this time, the fish no longer wanted to read, write, and write. Nor do I think about meeting the editor-in-chief poet. I don't want to look at that book of poems, and I feel that in the face of what I encountered at this time, facing reality, the poetry collection is so pale. However, it was a pity to throw it away, so I let my wife put the poetry collection in the bag, not wanting to see it again, thinking.

Those who have incomplete procedures, or those who have expired, some of their homes are nearby, they go back to get them, some of them are in other places, far away, and they are also thinking of their own ways, very anxious.

The fish waited anxiously, thinking that the traffic police would return soon, but the left could not wait, the right could not wait. After asking a few times, the middle-aged man and woman were not happy, with a look of anger on their faces and about to lose their temper. The dog also opened its eyes, bit its tail, and barked. The fish thought, or don't ask, quietly, etc., if things get more and more complicated, they can't go.

The fish sat quietly and drank water. The wife also sat silently and waited quietly. Two people, compared with coming to this city, with one brain and one dream, are so lonely and pitiful at this time like children who have caused trouble and have disasters.

The fish thought, fortunately, things are not big, if things are big, what should I do. How to live at home, how can children study and live with peace of mind.

Yu'er looked at the city full of high-rise buildings, listened to the faint sound of the city, and thought that whether the city was bustling, lively, or wonderful, or secluded and dilapidated, it had nothing to do with him. Whether it is facing literature, or facing his current events, facing this city that is familiar in appearance but strange in substance, no one can help him, only relying on himself.

Thinking like this, in the face of the huge city, the fish suddenly felt so small, lonely, and helpless.

The fish just sat quietly with his wife, waiting! Wait! In the twilight, the traffic policeman drove the car and finally came. After entering the parking lot, just at the door, parked the car, turned on the lights on the roof of the police car, the dogs were barking, strange and scary, the fish felt, they were like breaking the law, the police were like facing the prisoners.

Yu'er also asked himself in his heart, if in this city, he really caused trouble and broke the law, then what should he do! What will the wife do, the days at home will be done again, and the children will be done?

The fish did not dare to think about it. I feel like I am a droplet of water, a speck of dust, so small and humble.

After the police car was parked, the people with all the formalities were lined up right in front of a table in front of the activity room. In the courtyard, the lights were also turned on, and the police looked at the formalities one by one.

One by one, the front looked at it, it was the turn of the fish, and after the police read it, they also passed, asking him to register and sign. After finishing it, the fish gave the parking lot twenty dollars, took the key, and finally could leave. False alarm, anxious for a long time, stayed up for half a day, finally able to leave, the fish took a long breath, and felt so steady and relaxed in his heart. Just think, after driving the car away, find a place to park the car, then find a place to stay, go to the night market, eat well, suppress yourself, and then, sleep well, tomorrow do not think about anything, go back to the mountain village, start his work and life. At this time, I don't think about reading, writing, or literature. How to treat specific reading, writing, and literature things, wait for this matter to be handled, go back to work smoothly, live a stable life, and calm down.

The fish opened the car door and got into the car. The wife also opened the car door and got into the car. The fish turned on the headlights and started the car. With a long sigh of relief again, he prepared to drive away from the place that made him anxious and unlucky, wanting to find a place to park his car, find a place to stay, find a night market, have a good meal, and go back to the country village every morning.

At this moment, the car driven by the fish, I don't know if it was because of panic, or because he wanted to leave too much, and immediately wiped the police car parked at the door. There was nothing wrong with his car, and although the police car was not in serious trouble, it made a hole in the side lights.

The traffic police heard a voice, immediately came, let him give him the certificate, the key, tomorrow to deal with, today the car is not going to go.

Seeing this scene, although the fish's heart was a little cold, it was exceptionally empty. I also secretly blame myself, happy and sad. Should not be too anxious, too excited, too panicked, did not notice the police car, scratched people. However, the fish knows that if you crash into someone's car, you have to pay compensation to others, see the traffic police pick up his formalities, take the car keys, let others go, tomorrow to deal with, the heart for a while, but like a dying person, everything is put down, do not want to. Don't think about reading, writing, literature. I also don't want to edit poets. I don't want to think about anything because of the car, a series of things encountered, silently walking outside the parking lot, and my wife silently followed him. Out of the parking lot, the fish look at the city, the street lights are on, the lights on the tall buildings are also on, and the lights of various shops to attract customers are also on. The city under the lights, so peaceful and beautiful. In the fish's heart, there is a blankness and ease that has let go of everything. Just say to your wife, don't think about anything, what bullshit reading, writing, literature. Don't think about the car either. Fuck it all! As long as people live and have a destiny, everything is not important, everything is beautiful. This time, I went to find a place to live and food. To find a good place to live, to eat what you want to eat.

The wife became happy to see the fish, and she was happy, and she had a smile on her face. Yu'er looked at his wife, and suddenly felt that what helped him at this time, who was anxious and worried with him, and accompanied him was his wife, and her heart was full of gratitude and she also felt so down-to-earth.

Not far away, the fish got in the car, got in the car with his wife, and asked the driver to take them to the most lively place in the city.

After the driver listened, he pulled the fish and his wife through the streets. The city under the lights, so peaceful and beautiful. Although the fish felt that the city was still not his, he no longer had a dark mood during the day, and felt so humble and small when he encountered a series of things that disappointed him. Instead, I feel that I am a person, that I can live in this city, enjoy the beauty of the city, and feel the prosperity and bustle of the city.

The fish suddenly felt that if a person is no longer devout about something, but looks at it with a normal heart, then everything, anyone, seems so plain and unremarkable. In the face of nature, all are passers-by, all are so humble. And I also feel that no matter what happens, as long as life is there, everything is there, compared to anything, nothing, it is not a thing, and it seems small.

The taxi pulled the fish and his wife to the most prosperous and lively place in the city. The streets in this place are wide, and vehicles drag long lampposts, coming and going. On the sidewalk, people are bustling. On both sides of the street, high-rise buildings, under the lights, so beautiful.

Yu'er and his wife got out of the car and found an elegant place to stay in a tall building. Then, I found another elegant place to eat. Although the price is a bit expensive, the fish feel that it is worth it.

After eating, back to where they lived, the fish and his wife, after lingering, kept going crazy until they were exhausted. At this moment, the fish listened to the faint sound of the city, looked through the window, looked at the city under the light, and suddenly felt that he was so heroic and great, he was the master of the city, and the city was his. Everything else, everything else, reading, writing, literature; a series of things that his car encountered, were outside the fish's heart, not to be thought about. After only thinking about empty dreams, I also thought about these many years, after experiencing the hardships of life all the way, I finally had the heroism and happiness at this time.

The next day, the fish rose in excitement, reminiscing about the passion of the night, and their hearts were still sweet and happy. The wife is also very excited, sweet, happy look. The anxiety and sorrow that had once been the same as that of a fish were gone.

The fish and his wife went to see the traffic police, pestered for a while, gave a few hundred yuan, let the police car repair the lights, the matter was over, gave the fish the key, the fish went to the parking lot to get the car.

In Yu'er's heart, he suddenly felt that between this parking lot and the traffic police, there was an inexplicable and unclear collusion relationship, and everything was for the sake of getting money.

Driving out of the parking lot, the fish spat fiercely and scolded: Day.

The fish felt that as long as people can live and their lives are still there, money is a big thing.

The fish drove, crossed the streets, turned one corner after another, and gradually drove out of the city and found their way home. Along the way are towns and villages. Gradually, the mountains are in sight, and after entering the mountains, there are high mountains, and the rivers flowing outside the mountains are full of natural tranquility.

The fish recalled the dream trip to the city, the things experienced along the way, did not find the dream, and encountered unexpected things. Yu'er's heart suddenly thought, go back, if you give those saved manuscripts, find a home, perhaps, he still reads, writes, and loves literature. Perhaps, no longer reading, writing, love literature. Instead, it is either sitting still, watching the sky and looking at the mountains, admiring nature. Or plant flowers, plant grass, and send love to the landscape until you are old.

2018.6.22