A philosopher once said, "Successful education begins with the formation of habits." So where do you start developing good habits? Mr. Tao Xingzhi, a well-known great educator on the mainland, mentioned in the New Education Review: "The attitudes, habits and tendencies of all human beings can establish an appropriate foundation in the infantile era." It is true that children's childhood is the best period for cultivating habits, and there is a formula: early education costs one kilogram of effort = late education costs a ton of energy.
However, the cultivation of learning habits is inseparable from self-discipline, the importance of self-discipline can be described as important and indispensable, if a child lacks self-discipline, lacks the ability to discipline himself, lacks awareness and the ability to find problems, just immersed in a comfortable, warm and harmonious learning life, then the child is trapped by laziness and complacency and paralysis.
First, learning and growth begins with being guided, without exception, from other disciplines to self-discipline
Growth is to complete the transition of life from other disciplines to self-discipline, children's learning and growth activities always start from being required, requiring children to sleep regularly, eat regularly, read and write homework regularly, require children to deal with things encountered in life in accordance with moral and legal norms, and growth activities are gradually transitioning from unconscious start to conscious and systematic research.
Second, how to make children change from other disciplines to self-discipline
1, give the child enough trust and confidence, to believe in how the child is, not hope how the child is
There is a classic line in "Chosin Lake": "If an egg is opened from the outside, it is doomed to be eaten, and if it is opened from the inside, it may be able to fly an eagle."
Parents will say that "the management now is for the future, the current planning is for the future to let go", however, parents ignore the most important point, that is, reject the formation of the child's self-discipline, firmly hold his law in his hands, and do not give the child enough space to develop his own laws and habits.
2, maintain the correct way of communication with children, both parents and friends
Talk to your child seriously and be obedient. Respond to children accurately with actions, and treat children like leaders;
Learn to ask, not command, and be prepared to be rejected. For example, communication with children can say: "Please do me a favor?" If you are rejected by the child, then you must also respond to the child correctly, you can say "well, I will find my own way";
Guide children to calmly express different opinions, and parents should be good examples of communication. When the child loses his temper, may wish to calmly observe whether the child has his own shadow? If the adults do not make a wrong demonstration, they must use practical actions to guide the children to achieve the purpose of "teaching is not to teach";
Teach children to learn to face their own problems calmly. Do it from two aspects: the first is to guide the child to learn to try things that he will not do; the second is to guide the child how to treat things that he will not do, in the process of the child's attempt may make mistakes, and the mistakes made by the child in the process of trying should also be tolerated. In this way, the child's sense of responsibility will be cultivated, and the child will form a new concept: when encountering things that will not be done, humbly ask for advice, learn on their own, find the key points and digest them into their own cognition. The most taboo thing here is that parents always say, "This won't work??? "It can be very harmful to the child.
3. Let the child arrange his own work and rest time, and face the child's nonsense and negligence with a positive and constructive attitude
Valuing your child's wisdom and maintaining consultation with your child. Writing down what you do every day is simple but very practical. Treat what children like to do and what needs to be done equally, and maintain a healthy balance in the child's mind. In the process of planning to let go, parents should keep the scale of reminders and not interfere excessively, only in this way, when the child leaves our supervision and reminders, it can also be well arranged.
Teach children to learn time management while actively meeting their children's rest needs. Sometimes the parents' improper management methods strengthen the child's negative emotions, find the cause after the right medicine; find the child's homework is wrong, not necessarily corrected, which may dissolve the child's inner motivation, the correct approach is to give the child unconditional positive attention; step by step to cultivate the child's self-control ability Parents can slowly let go, take the child to check the homework, and systematically develop the habit of the child's self-examination.
Cherish children's curiosity and seize educational opportunities to make children fall in love with learning. When we can't answer the child's questions, we can write down the child's questions, and then take the questions with the children to find the answers and start a journey of knowledge exploration. In addition, parents should be good at finding the joy and opportunity to learn in life and allocate their children appropriately. Learning without traces, without burden, without consciousness is the highest state of learning.
Self-discipline is actually equivalent to self-confidence! Let the child believe that he can become better through hard work, through continuous persistence, and continuous practice, so he will restrain his behavior and work hard in the direction of getting better and better.
Third, self-disciplined children have strong self-confidence, and this self-confidence will benefit for a lifetime
"Self-discipline" is a good quality that comes from within and is with us anytime and anywhere, and can be comprehensive! Self-discipline is to help us, not to limit us, and a person who knows how to use self-discipline well is more likely to succeed. Self-discipline can guide and supervise yourself and restrain yourself. If we always study and live in a required environment, it is difficult to progress, so we should learn to restrain ourselves, demand ourselves, control our bad behavior, and do everything well. Our self-discipline is not to let a large number of rules and regulations bind ourselves layer by layer, but to create a well-ordered order with self-disciplined actions to strive for greater freedom for our study and life.
Napoleon said that those who cannot control themselves are always weak. People living in such a complex society must have a self-discipline ability. In this way, people can "get out of the mud without staining" and become a person with achievements.
Self-discipline is not only beneficial to children's current learning, but in a few years, when children gradually end their student careers and go to society, they will find that it also has a great impact on their future work and life in society. Because when children are still students, we have a chance to make a mistake again, to start from scratch, but in society we must take responsibility for every mistake or mistake we make, and bear the consequences. If you continue to rely on other laws, will there be people in society who are willing to take responsibility for you?
Finally, the daily problems encountered on the road of parenting, use the right ideas and methods to guide the child, targeted and accurate response to the child, step by step to cultivate the child's good habit of self-discipline, and be a "hand-throwing treasurer" parent is not a dream!