In the Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu wrote: "The heavens and the earth are not benevolent, and all things are dogs." ”
Heavenly Dao is ruthless. No matter who you are or what your achievements are, Heaven will not favor you, but will "treat you equally" with anyone.
In fact, in Taoist doctrine, "ruthlessness" is the thought of Lao Tzu and Zhuangzi.
Not only is the heavens ruthless, but even mature people must live "ruthlessly".
In terms of interpersonal relations, Lao Tzu believes that "the voices of chickens and dogs are heard, and the people and the old do not interact with each other." Only by maintaining a certain distance and giving up a certain amount of affection can the relationship between people be harmonious and beautiful.
In terms of dealing with the world, Zhuangzi believed that "heaven and earth are born with me, and all things are one with me." We must treat all things in the world as equally, just as all things are one with us. This is not ruthless, but a kind of calmness and maturity that sees through the vicissitudes of the world.
Modern people often do not understand that thinking that they are "sentient" or "emotional" can get comfort and sincere treatment from others. That's just wishful thinking.
In some relationships, as long as the number of exchanges between the two sides is large, it is believed that there will be contradictions between people, and even deepen hatred.
To be a person, we should be appropriately ruthless, especially to the following relationships, we must not be too affectionate, that is maturity.
01
We should treat the relationship of strangers appropriately ruthlessly.
I have seen a lot of workplace whites, and as soon as I come to the workplace, I use my hot face to paste other people's cold butts. But in the end, they live a humble life and are rejected by others.
Just think, strangers don't have a dime relationship with you, you are so good to others, even close to others, then how can others be kind to you?
Just think, some people are just hurried passers-by around you, and they don't have a good feeling for you at all, so what is the point of you being so enthusiastic?
The most stupid act of being a person is to think that your "true feelings" can be exchanged for the sincerity of others. This, it seems, is somewhat wishful thinking.
Or the older generation of people say well, look at things coldly, and act coldly.
The "cold" here is not the meaning of no emotion, but to maintain a "calm" attitude towards some people and things, and must not act in a spirited manner, nor can it be oblivious.
Treat strangers with appropriate ruthlessness, which is the wisdom of being human.
02
We must treat the relationship of "villains" with appropriate ruthlessness.
For the villain, Xunzi believes that respect the villain and stay away.
The villain has harmed us, we must fight back in time, we can't always look ahead and look back, the benevolence of women. Conversely, if villains harm our minds, then we just need to stay away from them.
I once saw one thing.
Xiao Wang in the workplace always feels that kindness has good rewards. Therefore, he will help the villain and give the best help to the other party. Who knows, the other party stepped on him and let him get nothing.
This only shows a truth, it is too good to treat a villain like a "poisonous snake", that is not good, but an ignorance.
Just like the ancient "Farmer and the Snake", you saved a poisonous snake and put it in your chest. Then your final result is nothing more than being bitten by a snake.
Don't test humanity with your own sincerity. Perhaps, we should be appropriately ruthless to the villain, and even choose not to interact with them anymore, believing that we can live more and more stable.
03
We must treat "hypocritical" kinships with appropriate ruthlessness.
Since ancient times, feelings are not long-lasting, and humanity is unpredictable since ancient times.
If outsiders can hurt us and betray us, it is an inevitability, and the relatives of hypocrisy, their rank, is more advanced than ordinary villains.
In the workplace, you need to be humble with others. And in the family, you also need to be hypocritical with the villain. How will you feel at this time?
The feeling is that this family relationship is really not solid, and in the face of material interests, it is basically vulnerable.
Why do relatives flatter you and why do some friends treat you so well? The other party will only look at the interests of the people, but will not look at the feelings of the people.
This is what we call the "interest relationship."
If it is a relationship of interest, we only need to deal with customers, why should we deal with relatives and friends? There is really no need.
For those relatives who are hypocritical, we may as well live a little more ruthlessly. At the very least, our ruthlessness protects the true feelings that lie deep within us.
04
We should treat "ungrateful" social relationships with appropriate ruthlessness.
Some time ago, a reader told me something.
Ten years ago, he lent money to his cousin, who knew that the cousin had been dragging the money and not paying it back, and said everywhere that this cousin did not talk about family affection, only recognized money and did not recognize people.
In this regard, this reader sighed, I have lent money to my cousin, I have done my best to be kind, why does the other party still say that I do not talk about family affection? Isn't that just an act of arbitrariness?
This is the white-eyed wolf who does not understand gratitude. Your good will only inspire his greedy mind, not let him change anything. Even if he's your relative, he won't necessarily say "thank you" to you.
You have helped outsiders, and outsiders will be grateful to you. However, you helped some relatives and friends, and they turned a blind eye. This is their lack of conscience, and our unwiseness.
When dealing with "ungrateful" social relationships, our best practice is not to argue on the basis of reason, but to stay away in time. Talking too much to people without conscience is just playing the piano to the cow, meaningless. Staying away is the solution.
Wen/Shushan has deer