Hello everyone, I'm Maco.
"This kid is very smart, he just didn't study hard!"
Presumably, most parents have heard this sentence, and some parents are still a little proud when they hear such words?
Many parents hear teachers say that their children are very smart, that is, when they do not work hard, they only focus on the point that their children are very smart, but they forget the true meaning of this sentence.
In fact, parents should focus on the problem of children not working hard, because success is not achieved by being smart alone.
For example, Zhongyong in "Wounded Zhongyong" written by Wang Anshi is a smart child. He was able to write poetry when he was 5 years old, and the poems he wrote could be "passed on to Ichigo Hideyoshi", indicating that Zhongyong was a very talented child.
However, even if he is very smart and talented, and does not have the hard work of the day after tomorrow, he will eventually "disappear into the crowd." ”
For example, Lila in "My Genius Girlfriend" has been very smart since she was a child, and she is very talented in designing shoes from a family of shoemakers, and she designed best-selling shoes at the age of 15.
However, she lacked the love and in-depth learning of design shoes and soon lost her inspiration and could no longer design a second pair of shoes.
Her friends said of her:
Lila would quickly become disgusted after being fanatical about anything for a while.
Although Lila has a smart mind that surpasses ordinary people, she has not handled her talents well, nor has she bothered to delve into a thing, and as time goes by, her talents are like a flash in the pan, as if she has never had them.
Albert Einstein said:
"People attribute my success to genius, but my genius is just hard work."
Robert Sternberg, an authoritative expert on intellectual research, said:
A particular human specialty is not determined by a fixed innate ability, but is acquired through purposeful exercise.
That is to say, you are not talented enough, and if you want to succeed, you also need to use "effort" to nourish that advantage.
Carol Dweck, a psychology professor at Stanford University, conducted a psychological experiment to study the effects of praise on children.
The researchers asked the fifth-graders to perform puzzles, and after the tests were completed, two different forms of praise were used on the children:
"You're talented at puzzles, you're smart."
"You just worked hard and did a great job."
In the following rounds of experiments, the researchers found that:
Children who are praised for their intelligence will choose less difficult tasks, and after experiencing failure, they will have doubts about themselves and even decline in grades.
Children who are praised for their hard work will choose difficult tasks, and after experiencing failure, they will think that they are not working hard enough, and then they will become more hardworking, and then their grades will also improve significantly.
In the end, the results of the study showed that no matter what kind of family background children, after being praised for being smart, they could not stand the sense of failure brought about by the setbacks afterwards, and those who were praised for their efforts would become more and more frustrated and courageous.
So, the key to success is not to be smart, but to work hard and persevere.
Angela Duckwell, a well-known American psychologist, said in a TED talk that her team has followed thousands of students.
They found that the people who eventually succeeded were not necessarily smarter than others, but that they all knew how to work hard and persevere. In the face of difficulties, they will choose to face difficulties.
The British writer Johnson once said:
Success is not about the size of the power, but about how long it can last.
In daily life, children should not be overly praised for their intelligence, but all failures should be attributed to non-effort, so that children can correctly understand the role of intelligence and effort, and fully understand the importance of effort.
Next time, if someone still praises the child's intelligence, it may as well say: No, he is just trying!
Being smart may not necessarily succeed, but hard work and persistence can bring children one step closer to their goals.