"Mommy and Daddy, I love him, I'm going to marry him, I don't mind him being 25 years older than me!" He is the only one in the world who knows me best! ”
Looking at his daughter who was so determined and persistent, the father was so angry that his face was red, and the hand pointing at his daughter was trembling, unable to speak, and the mother was red in the eyes.
Writing poems and publishing poetry collections at the age of 4; sending him to Peking University at the age of 13; becoming the youngest student at Harvard University at the age of 20, and becoming the youngest doctoral graduate of Harvard University at the age of 27, such a genius daughter suddenly said that she wanted to marry an Old American man who was 25 years older than herself, and no parent would be able to accept this fact for a while and a half.
What's going on here?
At the age of 4, she can write poetry and become a talented girl of Peking University who is a professor at Harvard University when she grows up
In October 1971, an ordinary family in Harbin gave birth to a girl, and when she saw the small meat ball in her arms, her parents were very happy and hoped that her daughter could grow up safely and happily.
At that time, no one expected this little girl to become a genius girl.
She is Tian Xiaofei.
Because her parents are engaged in literature-related work, under the influence of her parents, Tian Xiaofei has shown a strong interest in literature and a high talent since she was a child.
When she was 4 years old, her parents' jobs changed, and Tian Xiaofei came to Tianjin Literary Association with her parents to work, and after arriving here, she opened her literary road.
After the 4-year-old Tian Xiaofei arrived in Tianjin, she began to try to write poetry, and published her first poem in Tianjin Daily in the same year.
After the work was published, it was praised by fellow poets, and everyone was amazed that Tian Xiaofei at a young age could have such a good literary talent.
Immediately after, Tian Xiaofei officially opened the path of a young poet and published 5 poetry collections. At that time, the famous poet Liu Xi was deeply attracted by Tian Xiaofei's works and specially found Tian Xiaofei's father and met Tian Xiaofei, who was only 4 years old.
Although the two were very different in age, their interest in poetry and literature held them together. Tian Xiaofei liked this aunt very much, and as soon as she had time, she asked Aunt Liu for poetry writing, and became a year-old friend.
Under the guidance of Liu Xi and his own talent, Tian Xiaofei, who studied at Tianjin No. 13 Middle School at the age of 13, attracted the attention of Peking University for her poetry that won many awards, and threw an olive branch to her.
In this way, Tian Xiaofei, who was only 13 years old, was admitted to the Department of English and American Literature of Peking University.
At the age of 13, others are still worried about the middle school entrance examination, but Tian Xiaofei has directly become a freshman at Peking University, and this alone has envied many parents.
Tian Xiaofei was 16 years old when Peking University was 16 years old before the founding of Peking University, and in order to celebrate this moment, she created a song "The Encounter of Thirteen Years Old" dedicated to her alma mater.
In the poem, Tian Xiaofei wrote about the spirit of a young girl, a beautiful fantasy of the future and a deep affection for her alma mater, in which she wrote:
"The will is me, and the boat that is not tied is me, even if there is no wisdom, no rope and no sail mast."
"The Encounter of thirteen years old" was later selected into the domestic middle school textbook and became one of the representative works of Tian Xiaofei's youth.
The poems written by a 16-year-old girl will become the content of many peers' learning, enough to make the elders of the family proud and become a veritable proud daughter of heaven.
During his studies at Peking University, Tian Xiaofei met the famous poet Haizi, the poet who wrote "Facing the Sea, Spring And Blossoming".
The two had the same interest and love for literature and poetry, which brought them close together. Often walking together on campus to talk about poetry and song, with the guidance of a predecessor like Haizi, Tian Xiaofei is more obsessed with the creation of poetry.
Haizi once said to her, "If you can persevere, you will be a great poet." ”
And so it is.
Haizi's words strengthened Tian Xiaofei's path of writing poetry, and she smiled and agreed with Haizi that the two would insist on writing poetry together for a lifetime, and use poetry to write the happiness and revenge of life.
They became close friends with each other and talked about everything.
But no one expected that in 1989, on an ordinary day, Haizi suddenly committed suicide without warning.
In the face of this sudden news, Tian Xiaofei was completely unable to accept it, how could the best friend who talked about poetry yesterday and who was full of hope for the future disappear forever?
Such pain made Tian Xiaofei temporarily lose the inspiration for poetry creation, and began to think about the value of life from simply creating poetry.
In the same year, Tian Xiaofei also graduated from Peking University.
Perhaps because of the impact of Haizi's sudden death on her, after graduation, Tian Xiaofei chose to go to the United States to pursue a master's degree in literature.
In 1991, Tian Xiaofei successfully obtained a master's degree in arts from Nebraska State University in the United States, and was admitted to the prestigious Harvard University to continue his doctorate in literature, becoming the youngest doctorate in the history of Harvard University.
At this time, she was only 20 years old, and it was here that she met the mentor and lover who changed her life.
Second, meet true love and marry an American mentor
While studying at Harvard, Tian Xiaofei met her mentor Stephen Owen (Chinese name Yuwen Soan), a famous sinologist and head of the Department of East Asian Languages and Civilizations at Harvard University.
Stephen was born in 1947, a full 25 years older than Tian Xiaofei, who was born in 1971.
After learning that her mentor was Stephen, Tian Xiaofei was still very happy, because she knew Stephen's literary achievements, and learning from him would definitely be able to improve her literary path a lot.
Indeed, as Tian Xiaofei expected.
Although Stephen was a native American, he had a deep interest in poetry since childhood, and once Stephen stumbled upon a collection of Chinese poetry in the Baltimore City Library, he was deeply attracted to it, and began to be fascinated by the study of Chinese poetry, especially Tang poetry.
In Stephen's eyes, Tang poetry can describe or magnificent, or delicate, or beautiful, or rough pictures and artistic conceptions in just a few words, while also paying attention to rhyme and neatness, all of which make him feel too magical, addicted to it, unable to extricate himself.
Because of his years of immersion in the study of Tang poetry, Stephen made certain achievements in Chinese poetry culture and was hired by Harvard University as a professor in the Department of East Asia.
In this way, 20-year-old Tian Xiaofei became his student.
At first, Stephen did not care much about Tian Xiaofei, but every time in class, this Chinese girl always sat in the first row and listened carefully to the lessons, and the whole person was so quiet and focused, exuding a gentle temperament unique to oriental women.
Especially when he learned that Tian Xiaofei was a poet with the pen name Yuwen Qiushui, he was even more surprised, because Tian Xiaofei's pen name was so similar to his Chinese name Yuwen Soan.
Because of this, Stephen began to pay attention to the Chinese girl, and the more he paid attention, the more he found himself deeply infatuated with the Chinese girl who was 25 years younger.
Because of the schoolwork relationship, the two also often had exchanges, stephen found that Tian Xiaofei not only excelled in academics, but also had her own unique views on poetry, and she became Stephen's proud protégé.
As long as the two of them talk about poetry, they will always talk endlessly, completely forgetting the time, from Tang poetry to Song Ci, from Li Bai to Du Fu, all of them talk about it, and they can't stop at all.
When the discussion began, the sky was still bright, and when I looked up, I realized that it was already dark, but the two still had a feeling of inexhaustibility.
This feeling has transcended the teacher-student relationship, beyond the generation gap of each other's ages, and is a collision of souls and souls.
Gradually, Stephen has feelings for Tian Xiaofei that go beyond the teacher-student relationship, but considering the issue of identity and age, Stephen temporarily suppressed this feeling in his heart.
Tian Xiaofei also has a feeling of knowing Stephen and feeling sorry for each other, but she is not sure whether this is love.
In this way, the two did not say everything, and still got along with the relationship between teachers and students and close friends.
And so, the time came to 1998.
Dr. Tian Xiaofei, 27, graduated, becoming the youngest doctoral student at Harvard University.
At this time, Tian Xiaofei was faced with the choice of returning to China or staying in the United States.
Stephen began to be anxious, because he knew that if he did not show his heart to Tian Xiaofei, it was possible that Tian Xiaofei would choose to return to China, and he would lose this beloved woman from then on.
So on the day of Tian Xiaofei's graduation ceremony, Stephen plucked up the courage to ask her out and expressed his love to Tian Xiaofei.
Seeing the affectionate confession of his former mentor and best friend, Tian Xiaofei was stunned.
Although she also had a crush on Stephen, she never thought that the two could become lovers.
After the initial consternation, Tian Xiaofei found that his first reaction in his heart was not resistance and rejection, but a kind of joy.
At this point, she realized that she also liked Stephen, and she liked the feeling of spiritual connection with him.
But she didn't immediately agree to Stephen, but asked him to give himself a little time to think about it.
Tian Xiaofei, who returned to the dormitory, seriously thought about the relationship between the two and recalled the bits and pieces of the two together.
After some examination, Tian Xiaofei once again determined her heart, she actually liked Stephen long ago, but because of each other's identity, she buried this love deep in her heart.
In the face of Stephen's confession, she dug out the deepest love in her heart.
In addition, Stephen also borrowed Chinese love poems to send many confession emails to Tian Xiaofei, which touched Tian Xiaofei's heart again and again.
In the end, Tian Xiaofei decided to break through the shackles of secular concepts, followed his inner feelings, and accepted Stephen's pursuit.
In this way, the teacher and student with an age difference of 25 years eventually became a pair of lovers.
3. Life after marriage
When Tian Xiaofei told his parents about this, he naturally encountered strong opposition, and the main reason for the opposition was naturally that the age difference between the two was too large, so the scene at the beginning of the article occurred.
After all, Stephen is 25 years older than Tian Xiaofei, and this age can be Tian Xiaofei's father, which makes her parents unacceptable.
Although there was a fierce dispute between the parents and Tian Xiaofei, in the end, the parents could not overcome Tian Xiaofei's insistence and finally agreed to the daughter's decision.
On January 1, 1999, New Year's Day, 28-year-old Tian Xiaofei and 53-year-old Stephen held a wedding in New York.
In the face of love, region and age are no longer a problem.
In the face of this transnational love that does not allow the world's vision, some people question whether Tian Xiaofei wants to stay in the United States by marrying Stephen.
In fact, at that time, with Tian Xiaofei's own achievements, many American universities had extended an olive branch to her, and she did not need to rely on marriage to stay in the United States.
So she married Stephen because of that true love in her heart.
Since she was married to Stephen, Tian Xiaofei decided to live with her husband.
After that, she became a U.S. citizen and became a Chinese-American.
In the face of her decision, it naturally caused outside discussion and many people's incomprehension.
With her talent, ability, and appearance, it is not a problem at all to return to China to find a young talent of the same age and ability as herself, so why do you have to marry an old Man in the United States?
But who can say clearly about the emotional matter?
After marriage, Tian Xiaofei initially worked as an assistant professor of Classical Chinese Literature at Cornell University, and considering that she did not want to separate from her husband, she transferred to Harvard University's School of East Asian Languages and Literatures as a lecturer, working at the same school as her husband.
In July 2005, Tian Xiaofei was promoted from lecturer to associate professor because of her outstanding personal ability.
At this time, Princeton University came to dig up the corner of Harvard, and offered Tian Xiaofei a generous annual salary, hoping that she could teach at Princeton University.
Considering her husband's relationship, Tian Xiaofei refused.
After Harvard knew about it, it was afraid that talents like Tian Xiaofei would be dug up by other more samples, so in 2006, Tian Xiaofei was promoted to a professor.
At this time, Tian Xiaofei was 35 years old.
At this point, Tian Xiaofei changed from the youngest doctor in Harvard to the youngest professor at Harvard.
Looking back at her growth experience, other excellent people are running by plane, and Tian Xiaofei's development speed can be described by riding a rocket.
After marriage, Tian Xiaofei and Stephen still have endless poetry topics every day, support each other in their careers and families, and they don't care about the comments of the outside world.
Tian Xiaofei has published many works, including Beacons and Meteors: Literature and Culture of the Xiaoliang Dynasty, and Shenyou: Traveling in Early Medieval Times and Nineteenth-Century China.
The two decided to devote the rest of their lives to the study of literary poetry, so they chose not to have children.
Some time ago, Tian Xiaofei and Stephen also returned to their alma mater Peking University to give a special lecture on poetry and literature.
At this time, Tian Xiaofei was nearly 50 years old, although her hair was gradually graying, but the whole person looked very spiritual and elegant.
The path chosen by Tian Xiaofei is not understood by many people, but she firmly follows her heart, which may be the insistence of a poet.
Life in the world will face many choices, no matter which choice is not right or wrong, only hope that we can cherish the life in front of us, cherish the people around us, and live this life in the way we like.
I hope that every day of ours is like what Haizi said: facing the sea, spring is warm and blossoming.