"Marrying a person is equivalent to marrying a family", for this sentence, I really agree with it. The fuse of the unhappiness of many couples' marriages is indispensable to their "unclear" parents. In real life, there are many cases of interfering in the marriage of children and causing the last two people to part ways.
Love to smoke, indulge in playing mahjong, parenting concept is old-fashioned, mother-in-law brought a place of chicken feathers
In the TV series "Dear Child", Fang Yinuo had no choice but to let his mother-in-law take care of his confinement because the sister-in-law he found was unreliable. However, the arrival of the mother-in-law did not bring convenience to Fang Yinuo, but on the contrary, it aggravated the generation of family conflicts.
Mother-in-law Gao Caiping is a person who loves to smoke, loves to play mahjong, is very stubborn, and has a big grin. In the process of taking care of the baby, the mother-in-law not only did not quit smoking, but also often smoked in front of the child, so that the young Hehe was forced to absorb second-hand smoke.
In addition, the mother-in-law also has a big "mahjong addiction". In the process of taking the baby, I often go to watch others play mahjong, and even because I am too fascinated, it leads to a stroller slip, and the child directly falls into a "concussion".
And when Fang Yinuo repeatedly mentioned these bad deeds with the baby to the mother-in-law and asked for correction, the mother-in-law was still stubborn, and still held some old views on the baby, like giving the child decades of diapers and old clothes, and also rejecting the scientific parenting methods provided by Fang Yinuo on the grounds that he had raised two children.
It is conceivable that there is such a mother-in-law, what Fang Yinuo's confinement will be like, although the child is not a big problem, but the quarrel between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is very unpleasant, after the mother-in-law comes, Fang Yinuo's life has also become a chicken feather.
Everything is huge and detailed, and everything is comprehensive, but the kindness of the mother-in-law to help makes the husband and wife's feelings lighter
Because of the unreliable behavior of the mother-in-law, Fang Yinuo's mother really couldn't see it anymore, so she chose to retire early in order to better take care of her daughter. After Fang Yinuo's mother came, it seems that she can take better care of her daughter and baby, and indeed she has paid a lot for the family.
But in fact, over time, contradictions have also emerged, Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu are accustomed to living with the help of the elderly, so everything is dependent, Fang Yinuo is busy teaching, and Xiao Lu is putting more time and energy into work.
It is precisely because the mother-in-law unreservedly helps to take the child, the two couples also communicate too little, and the feelings become weaker, which also leads to problems in the subsequent marriage.
Those parents who "manage too much" not only cannot bring help, but also affect the feelings of husband and wife
Marriage is the husband and wife, from the original family, bravely stripped out, after the formation of a new family, to establish a new order. And if the elderly are always too involved too much at this time, it is easy for the family to encounter a little wind and be blown apart.
Nowadays, more and more families need to rely on the elderly to help with the baby, to be honest, the old man can help with the baby, it is really a grateful thing. But under the same roof, if the elderly manage too much and too wide, not only can not solve the pressure of children's life, but also bring trouble to the entire family life.
One spouse will have a "sense of exclusion"
When parents meddle in their children's marriages, once the parents turn to themselves, then the other partner will have a feeling: you and your parents are a family, and you are an outsider. This feeling of rejection and abandonment can greatly affect the feelings of couples.
The husband and wife also have a "sense of being bullied"
When parents intervene in their children's conflicts, once the other half has a confrontation with their parents or even more serious conflicts, then they will feel that their parents have been bullied. It was hard to feel that they were not family and wanted to leave.
Rather than "managing too much", "not interfering" is the best way for parents and children to get along
In fact, in the process of helping their children with children, the elderly only need to do a good job of "taking children", others should not interfere too much, it is best to think about the problem from the perspective of the child, especially the mother-in-law, try not to let the son be sandwiched in the middle.
At this point, the friend's mother-in-law is doing a good job, the two children of the friend's family are the mother-in-law in the help of the belt, in the baby, the mother-in-law completely follows the friend's advice and methods, usually buy vegetables to cook and clean up the housework is very appropriate,
Most importantly, when there is a contradiction between a friend and a husband, the mother-in-law will not participate at all, completely let the husband and wife solve the problem by themselves, so that even if they live together for a long time, the friend and the mother-in-law get along very well, and there is no so-called mother-in-law contradiction.
Although such a mother-in-law is very enviable, it is really unattainable, after all, everyone will have some problems, so whether it is children or parents, they still have to maintain an inclusive attitude towards marriage.
Kojima would like to say:
After marriage, the couple is the master of the family, for a variety of problems to discuss and solve, and like the parents of both sides, brothers and sisters, seven aunts and eight aunts, girlfriends and brothers of the opinions, or for reference only.