This story has been published exclusively by the author: Cat No. 2, authorized to read the story app every day, and its associated account "Late Night Qitan" has been legally sublicensed to be released, and the infringement will be investigated.
1
The day Li Fan let me go was a winter morning, sunny and cold. The sunlight came straight in, like pale golden water pouring into a wide-mouth hammered glass.
Li Fan put one hand under my neck, and the other hand touched my ear and said to me: "My girlfriend is coming back, I need you to leave for a while, I hope you cooperate." She and I have a serious matter to do, after this time, even if I and her are completely broken, the relationship between the two of us can be on the right track, you say okay? ”
I rolled over and looked out the window, and the sky was particularly blue, the kind of color that was close to the color pencil, and there was a raw and full beauty. The man made everything reasonable, as if it were inappropriate for me to express my dissatisfaction any further.
I laughed and said, "What's on track?" You obviously have a girlfriend, but you still want to be with me, and you haven't gone astray from the beginning? ”
Li Fan propped up his body and pulled my face over, "Wait until she and I have finished handling everything before looking for you, okay?" ”
I said, "Okay. ”
Li Fan was very satisfied, immediately lay down on the bed, and said, "You turn around and sleep with me for a while." ”
In the thin morning light I observed the man, from the outline of his face to his stubble, guessing at the mysteries of his that had not yet been revealed to me.
We've only been together for a week, and it's too early to move in together. But I had no other choice, after all, according to the original plan, I was already a little late. Only my ex-boyfriend Chen Er would comfort me and everything would be fine.
Li Fan was asleep. I used the afterglow to confirm the time, 8:30 a.m., when it was time to report progress to the editor. I got out of bed and opened the cupboard, which was hanging from another woman's clothes. Several suits also had a famous embroidered sign on the cuffs: miss Wong.
Miss Wang, that is Li Fan's girlfriend, a woman who dresses very tastefully and lives very carefully. She posted a photo in the circle of friends of the trench coat she wore, which now hangs in front of my eyes — purple-red, with belts at the waist, absolutely not wrong.
At this time, the vibrating sound of the mobile phone came from the head of the bed, and it was not clear whether it was mine or Li Fan's. Maybe Miss Wang sent him a message and asked him to pick her up at the airport; or maybe Miss Wang sent me a message, after all, we had made an appointment before and wanted to find a chance to meet as soon as possible.
I took off the familiar trench coat and wrapped it around my body, grabbed my phone and walked out of the bedroom. The cat in the living room ghostly swooped by, jumping straight from the wooden table top to the corner of the wooden floor, leaving a pinch of smoke-like cat hair on the laptop — it was Li Fan's old laptop. These days, I temporarily get access to it in the name of borrowing.
"The login password is 6 8s, and most of my passwords are this." He said so, but in fact his important files had long been encrypted in advance, especially the folders on his computer that contained his photographic old works— from 08 to 15. When Li Fan was out of work or had no time to take care of me, I tried to decipher the code many times and failed repeatedly.
From his birthday, to Miss Wang's birthday, to his mobile phone number, and even the time of his first photography exhibition... Not at all. Men's minds are actually harder to guess than women's.
Looking at the phone, four prompts jumped out, and there was a missed call from Liu Fang. She was a college classmate of Chen Er and me, and because her father had some connections, she was arranged to do logistics at the Third People's Hospital after graduation. Chen Er greeted her every time she went back to do the examination, and she was very enthusiastic.
When she was a student, she had some feelings for Chen Er, but Chen Er always did not take the stubble. Later, I broke up with Chen Er, and I had no personal contact with Liu Fang, and I don't know how she suddenly remembered to call me.
Look at three More WeChat messages, one from the editor: "The demolition date of the Lumen Bridge is advanced again, have you got your exclusive photos?" Don't forget that we grab this kind of headline, we want to race against time! One came from Chen Er: "I heard that the Lumen Bridge is going to be demolished, and I think we will go over and walk around when I have time." ”
The most critical one is still from Miss Wang, her head is like a cat wearing a crown shape, and every time I click it open, I make my heart "cluck".
She said: "Late reporter, I am afraid that our meeting will be postponed for a few days, the photos I promised to give you have recently had some problems, I will go back today and discuss it with my boyfriend." My boyfriend has also been busy lately, and those old photos are stored in his old computer, which is a bit of a hassle. ”
Of course I know what her boyfriend has been up to lately, he's been busy with me; I certainly know where the photos she's talking about exist — right in the computer in front of me!
At that moment, I really wanted to scream loudly and ask her directly if she knew the passwords in these folders? Do you know the details in those photos? But I held back. I understood that giving up my past would only increase despair, and I needed to calm myself down.
Before she could think of how to reply, Liu Fang called again. I walked to the balcony and closed the door to get the phone on. There was the sound of empty high heels, and then Liu Fang said, "Hello? Is it Chi Yuan? ”
I said, "Oh, Fangfang. ”
She heard me call this, and her tone was abrupt and affectionate, "Yuan'er, I guess you're going to forget me, we haven't seen each other for a long time." What have you been up to lately? ”
I said, "Still working as a website reporter, writing articles, and you're still working in the hospital?" ”
She said: "Well, Chen Er always said, you are a big reporter, I can't compare, it's just a light figure." Are you talking conveniently? At this point her voice turned low, indicating that the topic was going to turn in some inconvenient direction. Almost immediately, I had a hunch that what she was going to say next had something to do with Chen Er.
I said, "You speak." Sure enough, she coughed twice and said, "You and Chen Er, are you completely broken?" ”
I said, "Yes." ”
She said: "My classmates thought you would get married. ”
I pretended to be relaxed: "Isn't the result still yellow?" Fangfang, how do you think of asking this? ”
After a few seconds of silence, Liu Fang said, "I just want to ask, if you are separated from him, is it because of his illness?" ”
Ever since I knew Chen Er, I knew he had a chronic disease. Whenever you are overly tired or emotionally agitated, you will have chest pain, can't breathe, and in severe cases, there is a risk of suffocation. Although the disease is not fatal, it is a protracted battle, like burying an explosive in the body, and it will be ignited at some point.
When Chen Er was in college, he needed to take an imported drug, which had two miraculous effects of pain relief and sleep, and the pill box was a bright yellow similar to lemon, which made the drug as a whole full of a blind optimism. Chen Er also seemed to be infected by this breath, and every time he had an illness, he always comforted me in turn, telling me that he could not die, and that he would always stay with me.
In fact, Chen Er's condition is not optimistic. After graduating from college, his onset became so frequent that he was sent to the emergency room three times, so that he was unable to do his job and had to do odd jobs.
When we broke up in 19 years, almost everyone around me suspected that I hated Chen Er's physical condition. But we were still close, he cared about my work and life, I cared about his physical condition, and every time I made an interview plan, I would tell him everything in detail. Only this time with Li Fan, I did not tell him in advance.
Liu Fang said: "Chen Er was recently hospitalized, and several indicators are a bit problematic and not easy to handle. Do you want to come and see him? ”
I said, "Okay, come right away." ”
Liu Fang laughed twice, "You come today, pay attention, worry less about him, he needs peace of mind now." ”
I walked back into the house from the balcony and felt a warm breeze hit me head-on, and I realized that my hands and feet were cold. Li Fan had woken up and was lying on the bed picking up my hair one by one.
I said, "I'm sorry, long hair is easy to fall out." Li Fan said: "It doesn't matter, the main thing is that she is coming back, and I still have to clean up." ”
"She" obviously refers to Miss Wang.
I couldn't tell if it was a reporter's occupational attack, and I almost immediately wanted to ask: Did she come back and sleep in this bed with you? But held back.
Li Fan got out of bed and walked to the trash can, "The garbage has to be thrown away, she loves to be clean." He said to himself. I saw him put away the paper drawer, put away the remote control, and put away the plug board, but the two unpacked little boxes at the head of the bed were still there.
Another question popped up: Was this thing placed here with the intention of using it with her? But I held back again. In the end nothing was asked. Or did Li Fan open his mouth, "You pack up your things," he said, "I'm going to give an interview at noon, or will I send you home first?" ”
"Don't send me," I said, "I'll have to go to the hospital." ”
Li Fan stopped and looked at me, he was waiting for my next step.
I could have said it more briefly, but I couldn't help it, and the urge to be jealous was like a tidal wave in my heart—I said dryly, "My ex-boyfriend is hospitalized, and I have to see him." ”
I thought Li Fan would be angry, or at least show a little jealousy, but he didn't, he just stood there as if he hadn't heard anything, little by little, putting a brand new garbage bag on the trash can.
2
I'm a contracted journalist for the site, digging up gossip and sensational legends.
Just last month, the editor gave me a topic: the city's landmark Lumen Bridge is about to be demolished. Around the bridge, there are many strange rumors of all kinds, especially because the bridge has been built for a long time, security measures have not been in place for a long time, and for decades, the accidents of falling bridges and jumping bridges have occurred frequently, although the fence is reinforced layer by layer, it is nothing more than a dead sheep.
However, the locals do not feel new about this point, at most, when passing through the bridge, occasionally look at the Lu River gushing under the bridge, they will feel an indescribable faint sadness.
I am familiar with the Lumen Bridge, which is near my university. The editor said: "This bridge has a kind of momentum, Chi Yuan, you are very suitable for writing this kind of article, it is better to dig and dig, before it disappears, can you write a blockbuster?" "I deliberately shirked, the information age, nostalgia is easy to vulgar, unless there is a little special breakthrough.
The editor clicked on a pile of materials on the table: "The best breakthrough is always the story of people, see if there is any interest?" ”
The first material is an old story about an award-winning photography exhibition titled Lumen Bridge on a Rainy Night. The photographer is Li Fan.
I could hardly take my eyes off the group of photographs: in the midst of the heavy rain, the huge bridge shadow was majestic, mixed with broken street lamps and old advertising signs around, and the red light and blue light were scattered, making the space of the whole city seem to be sharply compressed, and beyond the dream, there was a bit of horror. Among them, there are three photos, Li Fan deliberately filmed through a transparent umbrella, so that the raindrops become decorations, but also make the bridge look mysterious.
What made me more concerned was that in that article, a reporter asked him a crucial question: Was there really anyone on the bridge at that time? What do you see? But he only replied, forgetting.
He said he forgot, he said it very vaguely, what if there was really someone on the bridge at that time? Or is something going on the bridge? It's suspenseful to imagine, but it's not guaranteed.
The editor clapped his hands and laughed, "Do you know when he was filming?" 12/6/10, guess what happened that day? ”
I opened the second document, and a line of piercing red characters jumped into the bottom of my eyes: one jump and death! Why college students jumped off the bridge on a rainy night.
"Look at the time, December 7th, the suicide man jumped on the night of the 6th," the editor said excitedly, "what does this mean?" It is very likely that when someone jumped off the bridge, Li Fan was on the bridge. ”
"You think photographer Li Fan witnessed a suicide?" I heard my own voice tremble a little.
"No one can be sure, it's a gap, you need to fill it."
"But Li Fan has already said it, and he forgot."
"But he also admitted that around the Lumen Bridge, he took more photos than the few on display, and maybe he photographed the scene of the suicide!"
"If you had taken the scene of your suicide, would you still keep those pictures?"
"You look at every interview he's given back, and he's almost stressing that he's going to keep every picture he's taken."
"So I'm going to ask him for a picture?"
"Try it, Chi Yuan," the editor said in a low voice, "even if there is actually no 'goods', but as long as we release the gimmick, the demolition time of the Lumen Bridge will be affected, and then the developers who are rubbing their fists will come to talk about cooperation. ”
In fact, money doesn't mean much to me, but with the cover of the material, I have decided to take this topic.
It is not easy to get close to Li Fan. Although he was interviewed by the media, his answers to questions were like an iron wall, and experience told me that I would probably run into a wall by going through official channels, so I planned to find another way.
Through a few friends in the media circle, I got the contact information of the curator of the award-winning photography exhibition that year. Hitting over, a brisk female voice said, "Hello, my last name is Wang." "Oh, it's Miss Wang, she's been a journalist for a few years, and she's now a professional curator and the girlfriend of photographer Li Fan."
I contacted her as a journalist and declared that I was very interested in the photography exhibition of the Lumen Bridge on a rainy night, just when the bridge was about to be demolished, and wanted to find the story of that year. Miss Wang's attitude was very enthusiastic, so I asked many detailed questions, not only about the shooting that year, but also about her boyfriend Li Fan.
The key information she told me was two points: First, when Li Fan arrived at the Lumen Bridge at 10 p.m. on December 6, the shooting time was about an hour, and then he sorted out the equipment and drove away, arriving home before midnight;
Second, Li Fan did take some photos on the bridge, although a few were not taken well, which did not meet the exhibition standards of that year, but Li Fan saved them all, he believed in the theory of "decisive moments", and strived to be targeted every time he pressed the shutter, so each photo had meaning.
Ms. Wang said that if I needed, she could consider showing me the photos that had not yet been exhibited, but she needed to know the outline and intention of my interview to ensure Li Fan's reputation.
If you can dig out the story of the famous photographer "seeing death and not saving", it is a hot news. But I'm not here. Editors value photos and urge me to get my hands on them as soon as possible to avoid being preempted by others, but I think the photographer is more important. What he photographed may be damaged and lost, but what he sees will be engraved in his memory, and that is the biggest trouble.
In recent years, in the photography circle, Li Fan has wandered among several female models, and many affairs have been passed on by word of mouth. Stories about desire are ugly when put on women, but they become some kind of aura when they are put on men.
I studied and quickly came up with the feminine characteristics that could win his favor. It happened that the website wanted to hold art lectures, and the editor took the opportunity to add Li Fan to the invitation list.
That's how he came. We met in the elevator room. He carried the camera on his back, and the wind and dust were servants. I wore a light-coloured dress, sprayed his favorite perfume, and held a collection of decisive momentary photographs – all in the same way. Calculating the time, we went upstairs and down at the same time.
Sure enough, when he went downstairs, he took the initiative to speak: "Look down and don't look up." ”
I laughed and pointed to his camera: "You're quite professional. ”
He looked at me and said, "You like photography too?" ”
At this time, the elevator door opened, and the spring-like sunlight poured out. I stepped out and heard his voice coming from behind me, "Can I take a picture of you?" And then it was filmed. Right in front of the convenience store on the street, I stood smoking in the wind, and he took a few pictures of himself with his camera around him, and then leaned over and showed them to me.
"Although I can't see your profession," he said, "your expression is very much like that of a professional model, you know?" ”
I shook my head.
He said: "There is an indifferent look in your eyes, as if everything is separated by a layer." ”
I said, "Probably because I'm nearsighted." ”
He laughed, "Then can you see me?" ”
But I thought to myself, it's because I can't see you clearly, and you can't see through me, that this plan is perfect.
It was only natural that we would exchange contact details and start chatting. I told him that I was a website reporter who did everything and was interested in photography. I can do what I like, and he naturally does not refuse. Between men and women, the reciprocation is basically visible several times.
Coupled with Miss Wang's dark line, I wandered back and forth between the man and the woman, looking for the answer to the question – how many photos did Li Fan take on the night of December 6? Did he see the suicidal figure? Did you take pictures? Are there some thrilling traces on the photos that have not been made public? To what extent will these traces have an impact on the real world?
Li Fan was always very alert, half jokingly and half seriously asking me: "Are you interested in me as a person, or are you interested in lumen bridge?" ”
Miss Wang's side is gradually making progress, one morning, she took the initiative to send me a message: "I want to plan another photo exhibition, just before the demolition of the bridge, what do you think?" ”
"Why do you suddenly want to bring the old things back up?"
"In fact, you reminded me," she said, "and I contacted a picture restorer, and Li Fan's photos that were taken in the past may be available now." It's just that my boyfriend is very old-fashioned, he may not be willing to take out his previous old works, let alone take it to repair, late reporter, if we confirm the film festival, are you willing to help us publicize? ”
I immediately replied: "Of course, the publicity is no problem, but I need to see the photos first, after all, I have to know, is there any information increment in those photos?" ”
Miss Wang said: "I am about to leave to see the picture restorer, how about we meet when I am ready?" ”
I gave her an OK gesture back, and then I told myself that the time had come to take the initiative. I had to grasp the specifics of that group of photos before Miss Wang.
So I took the initiative to invite Li Fan out for a cup of coffee. He drove to pick me up, looking very relaxed, and didn't even have a camera. I said, "Why aren't you going to take a picture of me today?" He said: "Even the best lens is not as good as the naked eye, if you want to remember a person, it is best to look with your eyes." ”
We talked a lot that day, and he told me that in the digital age, taking pictures has become easy, but he doesn't like to shoot continuously. Like a patient hunter, holding his breath and concentrating, the bullet loaded, at this time everything is silent, just waiting for the divine moment to come. And once it came, he would not hesitate, "click" a shot to grab. Sometimes you can grasp beauty, sometimes you can grasp the truth.
"Is there a time when you are empty-handed?" I asked like a professional journalist.
Li Fan replied: "Sometimes it is true that nothing seems to be grasped, but when I feel it, I must shoot, save all the shots, and time will give them rationality." By this time his hands were already resting on my shoulders, and I had almost no time to ask again if it was reasonable for us to do so now. Everything has become out of control.
When I came back, I was already lying next to him. He took my hand and covered my eyes, and said dreamily: "Chi Yuan, I have a very strong feeling, in the dark, you are the protagonist of the story in my photos, I seem to have deliberately picked up the camera to shoot for so many years in order to find you." ”
I said, "What about your girlfriend?" ”
"She treats me like a commodity and just wants me to be famous or make money, she doesn't know what I really want," he said. ”
I said, "In this lifetime, people ask for a lot, and they may not understand it, so they can't blame others." ”
Li Fan propped up half of his body and stared at me in the darkness, "Then what do you want?" ”
I said, "Probably fair. ”
Li Fan said: "Very noble. ”
I said, "What I want is not to owe anyone else for the rest of my life, and it is uncomfortable to be in debt, do you understand?" ”
Li Fan stopped talking and instead made a slight snoring sound, like a small train in the middle of nowhere. If he continues to talk to me, I may not be able to help but confide in my heart.
In the second half of the night, I tossed and turned, always thinking, if it were not for this kind of timing and this purpose, Li Fan and I might still be able to try it. But now we can only choose between farce and tragedy.
3
Despite my repeated refusals, Li Fan drove me to the Third People's Hospital.
When I got out of the car, he coughed and said, "Look for you in a while." The tone was understated, and I didn't respond, mostly not knowing how to say it.
In the gap of a few days when Miss Wang was away, I was around Li Fan every day, but there was no progress. And what will happen to everything when she returns? I was afraid that things would be completely out of my control, and I was afraid that the brief emotional connection between myself and Li Fan was just a quiet prologue before the storm.
I went to see Chen Er. There was still a special smell in the ward, a sense of tranquility derived from the mixture of the smell of illness and the breath of being treated. Chen Er sat up from the bed, the whole person lost a circle, and his eyes were concave.
I said, "How is your body now?" ”
He said, "Check it one more round, wait and see." ”
I said, "I'll wait with you." ”
I put my suitcase and backpack on the stool next to me. The box was lent to me by Li Fan, and it contained evidence that I had lived in Li Fan's house. The compartment of the box had some drums because I took his old computer with me. He may not have noticed, he may have noticed, but acquiesced.
Chen Er patted the edge of the bed with his hand, "Xiao Chi, you sit." ”
I sat down.
The bed was narrow and hard, and my leg touched his leg, which looked thin and stiff in the hospital gown.
I only then felt his unhealthiness, and his eyes were red when he boarded, and he couldn't restrain himself at all. I don't know whether to grievance for him or for myself. Chen Er observed me, "Who bullied you?" Your new boyfriend? "I said, you take care of yourself first.
At this time, Liu Fang came in, dressed quite plainly, but the aroma was fragrant, and her hair was deliberately pulled into a large roll. Look at the posture when she walks in, you know that the familiar door is familiar with the road, it should be a frequent coming and going in the past few days.
"What do you want to eat today?" She said to me, but it felt like she was saying it to Chen Er, "I'll be a guest." ”
I said, "Don't break the bank. ”
Chen Er said: "Don't go out, ask the snack department downstairs to send a few dishes up." ”
Liu Fang said: "You should still go out for a walk, and your mentality should be relaxed." ”
As if he hadn't heard, Chen Er pulled out a few snack menus from under the mattress and stuffed them into me and said, "You order it." ”
I was embarrassed, I felt that I had snubbed Liu Fang, and I smiled at her apologetically.
Liu Fang is still very good tempered, so she stays by the side and enjoys it. She wanted to sit down and see that the stool was full of my stuff, but she just owed it in the air and said idly, "Oh, did you see it?" Last week, there were people on the Lumen Bridge who wanted to jump down, fortunately someone saw the alarm, and the firefighters rescued it, but they did not die. That talent is in his early twenties, college student, or our apprentice. ”
At this time, Chen Er and I looked at each other. Chen Er said softly: "That bridge is about to be demolished, and there will be no more such accidents in the future." ”
Liu Fang continued: "Yes, do you remember that in our sophomore year, there was a boy xu Xiaofeng from the mathematics department, he jumped off the bridge and died, do you still have an impression of him?" ”
I couldn't take it anymore and I felt a chill in my back. Chen Er's legs leaned toward me, and we felt each other's body temperature through our clothes.
"I want a vinegared meat piece, and then a roast eggplant," Chen Er interrupted Liu Fang, "I'm done, you two girls will discuss it again." ”
I said, "I can do anything." ”
Liu Fang stood up and leaned over, as if she had completely put down the topic that had not been finished just now, "Do you want a beer?" ”
Chen Er laughed: "How can you drink well in the ward?" Thanks to the fact that you still work in the hospital, you don't talk about the rules at all. ”
Liu Fang's face turned red, "How can I not understand this?" She said, "Isn't this just trying to make an exception for you?" ”
After eating that meal, it was already 1:30 p.m., and Liu Fang went back to the office to sit at work, squeezing her eyes at Chen Er before leaving, as if there was some secret. Chen Er closed his eyes and pretended to take a nap, ignoring it at all, but obviously saw it.
I didn't have time to pay attention to the interaction between the two of them, but only sent a message to my editor: I still haven't seen Li Fan's photo, and every time I ask about the night of the shooting, he will have a unified voice, "forget." Maybe he doesn't want to remember, maybe he's wary of me, the most taboo in the relationship between men and women.
However, the editor quickly threw a message: he is not unwilling to recall, he has already decided to cooperate with others, Chi Yuan, your hot spot has been robbed!
The title of the network is like the fangs of a beast, instantly cutting into my chest: photographer Li Fan revealed the secret of the Lumen Bridge shooting: I have personally seen someone commit suicide on the bridge.
The picture of the article is not Li Fan's masterpiece, but a composite picture, a bridge in the dark, and a ghostly black shadow stands on the bridge, which looks very gloomy at first glance, and is estimated to enhance the stimulation. The full text is still a question-and-answer interview with Li Fan.
The reporter asked: "A few days ago, there were young people on the bridge who deliberately took their own lives, did this arouse some of your memories?" ”
Li Fan replied: "It is actually quite difficult to recall, after all, it has been too long in the past." But recently I've sorted out my previous work and I do recall some things. The night I went to the Lumen Bridge for filming in 10 years, I seemed to see someone jumping off the bridge. ”
The reporter asked: "Why is it said 'as if to see'?" ”
Li Fan replied: "Because I have been holding the camera on the shooting, it was raining again, I was afraid of getting the lens wet, was it necessary to cover it or wipe it, plus the visibility on the bridge was not high, the view was very blurry, I held up the lens as if I vaguely saw several figures, and when I put down the lens to look carefully, the figure was gone, I shouted a few times, 'Is there anyone?'" Beware! But no reply was heard. ”
On a rainy night, he went up to a bridge to take art photos, not wanting to accidentally bump into a murder scene
The reporter asked: "Did you realize at that time that it was possible that someone had committed suicide?" ”
Li Fan replied: "I didn't realize it at all, I only learned that a college student jumped off the bridge the next day, I am very remorseful, if I had been more careful at that time, I might have saved a fresh life." This has always inspired me to observe and feel the world more carefully through the lens in the future. ”
The article concludes with an indication of the interview time, just this morning. In the era of new media, news updates are so rapid.
I closed my eyes, and the lingering pity that Li Fan had been with me for a few days slid past my eyes like a montage. I had heard his heartbeat and gasp, and I had seen the deepest part of his eyes, and I could feel his attachment to me, which really couldn't be faked.
But the truth is that what he didn't say to me, he spat at other reporters! It turned out that he could love me or lie to me, and the two went hand in hand.
The editor said: "He is not kind to you, he does not do two things, it is better to start from his computer, get the files out first, even if you did not do it in vain." ”
I took a taxi back to my rental house, and at the computer repair shop downstairs, I looked for someone to back up the files in the computer. Then I went back to my parents' house.
Knocking on the door for half a day, no one answered. At this time, it is almost evening, and the cool breeze in the old-fashioned corridor is very depressed. I held my arms, only to feel a chill drilling through the sweater hole, and I felt the key to open the door, just inserted the key into the hole, "clicked", the door opened, it was my mother.
There was no light in the room, and it seemed gloomy. My mom was wearing a coral fleece coat and was bloated, as if she was trying to fill a little more of the extra space.
She was surprised to see me, "How did you suddenly come back?" ”
I pulled in the door, "Come back and have a look." ”
My mother said, "Your father went out with your uncle Xu, as if to say that he wanted to meet some reporter." ”
I felt a chill in my heart, and on the surface I said, "Is Uncle Xu still in good health?" ”
My mother said: "It's still an old problem in the leg, it's okay not to drink, I turn over the old accounts when I drink, or I want my son." ”
I didn't dare make a sound.
My mother looked at me and then said, "His son Xiaofeng is really sorry, isn't that bridge about to be demolished recently?" Your Uncle Xu has to go there every day to cry, and ask me to say that if I dismantle it, this evil relationship should also be broken. Xiaofeng's child is too admitting to death, or it will not be impossible to think, you said that jumping from such a high bridge will jump down, how fierce the heart is. ”
I sat down on the couch, the couch was already broken, and I used my hand to cut the gap, and I couldn't help but cut it bigger and bigger. As soon as the words came out, I felt that it was not right, and there was a person who should not mention it more, and it was not right to mention it.
I did have a period with Xu Xiaofeng at that time, and for me it was like a nightmare in life.
His father Xu Ning and my father were co-workers for many years and were laid off in the same year. My father went to the sea, often ran to the south, and for a while the business was doing well. Xu Ning's situation is more difficult, and he can only do some odd jobs outside. On the one hand he had a leg injury and belonged to a half-cripple, and on the other hand he had a previous conviction, theft, and squatting for three years.
After he came out, my dad often helped him. Since I remember, as long as Xu Ning appeared at my house, it seemed that he would always be more lame, he brought Xu Xiaofeng to dinner, often came to the house to borrow money, my father and my mother never refused once, I used to naively think that they were a lifelong friendship.
When Xu Xiaofeng was in high school, I didn't agree at first. One day between classes he came to me, pressed me against the back wall of the school toilet, and whispered in my ear, "Your family owes my family." ”
I was overwhelmed by him, struggling to turn my face away, seeing the white spit on the corners of his mouth, and he spoke quickly: "I have counted, a total of two strokes." ”
I said, "I don't understand what you're saying." “
He said: "They are all from ordinary workers, where did your father get all that money to do business?" In fact, at the beginning, your family was more difficult than my family, when you lived in the bungalow, your father was mixed with my father, and when he was laid off, my father said that he was going to the south to do business, and your father came up with the idea to steal the equipment in the factory to sell. When the time came to steal, he two climbed the barbed wire to run, my dad fell down, was caught, your dad ran! “
My heart beat like a big drum, and my mouth said hardly, "That's your father's bad luck." “
Xu Xiaofeng pulled my face and squeezed it fiercely, and a gloomy smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, "First, my father withstood the sins of two people and went to jail, second, my father fell down, it was your father who pushed it, two debts, all of them are counted, I calculated a little good, over the years your father lent me the money, my father never had to pay back, why do you say this?" ”
Light music was still playing on the radio, but to me it was like the end of my life. My eyes were fixed on the clear blue sky, as if my body had been pushed into the bottom of the well. Xu Xiaofeng's words linked the present with the past, allowing me to see again those rifts in life, which had always been surging undercurrents, all the way to the source of the resentment and entanglement of the previous generation.
The details and doubts that I have ignored over the years are gradually becoming clear with Xu Xiaofeng's words: No wonder my father seems to be unhappy forever. The business is earned, and he is not assured to enjoy it, and the business is lost, so it will pile up into a pile of upset bad debts. Xu Ning came, he accompanied the drink with a smiley face, Xu Ning did not come, he was drunk with a somber face. In the words of arguing with my mother, Xu Ning's shadow often appeared: it was the creditor, it was the bottomless pit, and it was the crow that flew by the wellhead from time to time.
When Xu Xiaofeng and I were admitted to high school at the same time, we set up a promotion banquet in the restaurant at the same time, and my father paid for it. After that banquet, in the midst of the chaos, I saw Xu Ning whisper a few words to my father, and then Xu Xiaofeng came over, and the father and son left shakily.
The pair of shadows melted into the neon of the night, and my father suddenly waved the bottle and smashed it into the corner of the table, and the glass ballast flew across, scratching his right hand, and the blood flowed.
I screamed and ran to him, and heard him repeat a sentence like a drunkard: "I will smash this one thing for a lifetime, when will it be finished?" ”
I said, "Dad, are you in debt?" When I earn money, I will pay you back. ”
My dad glared at me with a drunken look: "What else are you?" You're a money loser. ”
When Xu Xiaofeng came to me again, his eyes had become different. Suddenly, he pressed me to the table and pressed his whole head down and kissed me. I screamed, and the pen and paper in my hand scattered on the ground. The study door was half open, and my dad's figure flashed, only two coughs.
Xu Xiaofeng bounced off me, but with a proud look on his face—"You are already my person," he said, "your father has agreed, as long as you follow me, the past will be written off." ”
After that, my father's attitude towards me really changed, and even told me that he had no objection to my love affair with Xu Xiaofeng, and if I could be with Xu Xiaofeng, it could be said that he was most happy to see. And my mother repeatedly said: "Xiaofeng this child can be sincere to you, and the two families know the roots, and they will be a family in the future, how good." ”
At the behest of my parents, I applied to the same university as Xu Xiaofeng. After the admission results came out, my father was happier than me, Xu Ning was often in and out, his legs seemed to be less lame, and he often said that we should get married after graduating from college. At that time, the family was indeed full of joy and laughter, but my heart felt like I was in the abyss. Later, Xu Xiaofeng died, and the relationship between me and my father completely collapsed.
At Xu Xiaofeng's funeral, Xu Ning scolded me for being the culprit in killing his son.
He said that his son is very simple, in addition to studying, he only knows to be with me, because he has been played with by me, so he will not think about running to the bridge for a short time, and if I can fulfill the responsibility of a girlfriend, I should avoid this tragedy. I should have been with him, holding him, dragging him, anyway, I just can't let him jump, I can't let him die—
"Even if you die yourself you shouldn't let him die, do you know how good he is?" What are you? You're a girl, what else can you do besides having children? This was Xu Ning's original words at that time.
He burst into tears and accused me as if I were crying blood. And my dad stood by, holding him, acting as his crutch, and at the same time acquiescing to him in front of everyone and insulting me in front of everyone, as if because he was a victim, he had gained the right to maliciously harm others.
After the funeral, my father called me aside, I thought he was going to comfort him, but he just asked me: "Did you provoke Xiaofeng to commit suicide?" Now how do you let me explain to your Uncle Xu? ”
At this moment, I saw the crowd dispersing on one side, and Chen Er was in it, not sure if he was looking at me.
At the moment, my father did not spare, "Do you know that Xiaofeng called home before he died?" He said you are a broken shoe! Today you tell me, are you really not? ”
I couldn't bear it and said, "Yes, I like someone else, but Xu Xiaofeng he..."
My father gave me a slap in the face, not fiercely, but I could see clearly the pinprick pride in his eyes—as if he had guessed correctly, and he had prejudged his daughter to be such a vicious and unfaithful character, and had verified his wisdom in brutal questioning.
From now on, this daughter can replace him with a heavy moral cross, and he can turn over and dismount, walk back to the road of justice with most people, and spit on me. Is he relaxed? Is he satisfied?
I turned and waved at Chen Er, who immediately ran toward me, almost rushing to my side. I will always remember his gesture at that moment, the gesture of turning and running toward me from the gray figure, the gesture of him letting everything that had solidified begin to flow again, letting me start breathing again. My dad was furious, and he pointed to the door and told us to roll.
4
When I returned to the rental house, I received Li Fan's WeChat. He didn't seem to realize that the computer had been taken away by me, and only asked me what I was doing?
I said, "I saw your interview, and it's a wonderful story." ”
Li Fan said: "Even you, the reporter, have said this, it seems that it will not be boring." ”
I continued to ask, "Is that true?" ”
Li Fan sent a question mark.
I said, "I ask you if that's true?" The night you took the picture, did you really see a figure on the bridge? ”
Li Fan said, "Didn't I say that I was in a trance and couldn't remember it at all." ”
I said, "How many figures do you see?" ”
Li Fan said, "Huh? ”
I said, "The exact words you answered in the interview were, you saw 'some figures,' 'some,' and the quantifier wasn't accurate enough, was it one—the one that jumped, or were there several?" Think about it. ”
Li Fan seemed to be confused by my question, and replied every half a day: "The Internet shows that a person has died, then it should be one, why bother with these details?" Besides, I had forgotten about the past. ”
I looked at the screen of my phone and felt like a candle burning. Maybe others can't see it, but the flame burns inside, almost scorching me.
Li Fan said: "I didn't tell you these things before, and now I have told other reporters, you won't blame me, right?" ”
I said, "If you don't tell me, you will naturally be bitter." ”
He was very happy, and sent two smiling faces in a row: "Or you understand me, in fact, I am quite afraid, you approach me just to dig hot spots from me, like my girlfriend, I have become a cooperative relationship with her over the years, tomorrow she will accompany me to an interview again." 」 ”
My heart was cold, Miss Wang contacted other reporters?
Li Fan continued: "You also know that the Lumen Bridge is about to be demolished, in fact, when I went to shoot, she accompanied me. ”
"She went with you?" Miss Wang never told me this, and this subtle point was enough to disrupt the whole situation.
I immediately asked, "So that night, were you two on the bridge?" ”
Li Fan said: "At that time, the rain was too heavy, and she was waiting for me in the car under the bridge. ”
"Did she see anything?" The moment I asked this question, I broke out in a cold sweat and my back was already wet.
Unexpectedly, Li Fan did not reply positively, he did not realize the urgency of this issue for me, but said lightly: "Let's not talk about this, it is not interesting." Chi Yuan, when this interview is over, I will break up with her, I just want to be with you. ”
That night tossed and turned, and many small nightmares hunted me. I was in the hospital, I saw Chen Er being covered with a white cloth and pushed away by Liu Fang, I chased and cried but no one paid attention, and then turned around and found myself in Li Fan's house, standing next to the coffee machine, Li Fan urged me to quickly hide to avoid his ex-girlfriend.
I panicked, rushed to the balcony, pushed open the door, saw the rain curtain under the hood, I was as cold as falling into the ice cave, before I could react, I only felt someone behind me reach out and push, I pounced forward, the fog in front of me suddenly became clear, it was Lu Jiang in the night.
There seemed to be a silver needle falling with my body, so I realized it was rain.
Rainy night, Lu River, falling bridge, huge fear choked my throat - this should not be my fate! It was—and then I saw him, his face clearly emerging from the river, it was a sad smiling face that gradually became clear in the muddy mud—Xu Xiaofeng, who stared at me, his lips squirming, making a disgusting, muffled sound.
He said, "You can't betray me, you have to die with me." ”
The next morning I went to the hospital to find Chen Er before 8 o'clock, he was not in the ward, the bed was empty. I sat on it, his residual body temperature making me feel safe.
Looking back at the years after Xu Xiaofeng's death, severe depression crushed me, I had auditory hallucinations all day, and I also thought about death. Chen Er took me to see a psychiatrist and also to a Buddhist hall to listen to the scriptures. I burst into tears as I chanted the sutra and asked, "Can the Buddha forgive all sins?" ”
Chen Er said: "My grandmother believed in Buddhism, and she said that our debts would be repaid in several lifetimes, so there was no need for Buddha's forgiveness, the Buddha had his own arrangements." ”
I said, "Then we're going to have retribution?" Chen Er said, "You won't, I told the Buddha, yours counts on my head." ”
Footsteps sounded behind him, and Chen Er returned, and he stopped standing a step away from me. "Why are you here again?" I turned my face and he leaned over, I pressed my face to his stomach and felt a burst of warmth, and he reached out and patted me on the shoulder. It was a kind of brotherly, even fatherly, appeasement.
He said: "I'm fine, I just need to go to the big hospital to check it out." I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.
I said, "I'll accompany you." He said, "Nonsense, what about your new boyfriend?" He's still waiting for you. I said quickly, "He may be the same person he was then." Chen Er froze briefly, his eyes glancing at him for a moment of hesitation.
I continued: "After Xu Xiaofeng fell off the bridge, do you remember that we heard someone shouting 'Beware', so we suspect that someone has seen us, and he may be the same person at that time." ”
At this time, Chen Er had completely understood, and he picked up my face and his voice trembled slightly: "Are you sure?" ”
I said, "The first time I saw his picture seemed to have an induction, the time had been checked, that was the day." ”
Chen Er took a deep breath, "Then how much did he see?" ”
I said, "He's very vague, as if he saw a figure, but I'm not sure how many." ”
Chen Er said, "How do you know?" You asked him? ”
I nodded and added, "But I don't know if he's lying." ”
Chen Er asked again, "You are with him for this?" What exactly do you want to do? ”
I said, "I need you to give me some medicine, the kind that makes people fall asleep quickly, and you've been taking them." At this time, there was a clear sound of high heels in the corridor, Liu Fang came, and the two of us quickly separated.
Liu Fang held soy milk and buns in her hand and greeted me: "Yuan'er is here again?" After saying that, I leaned next to Chen Er, and I saw her pull on Chen Er's sleeve, "How did you think about that?" Did you tell Yuan'er? Chen Er said, "Almost." Liu Fang was very happy and said, "Okay, then you can eat." Chen Er smiled, and I could see that the smile was also a little sincere.
I asked fiercely, "What the hell is going on between you and Liu Fang?" Chen Er gritted his teeth and said, "She is going to accompany me to a doctor in a foreign country." "I felt as if I was about to crack, like a block of ice scattering cracks from the inside out.
I said, "Well, blame me for talking too much, you don't need me anymore." ”
Chen Er sat down next to me, "She said that her father knew the chief physician in that hospital, there were acquaintances who were good at doing things, she took good care of me during this time, you know, she used to be a little interesting to me, I thought about it, but it is not impossible to consider." These two days are ready to see the ticket. ”
I bowed my head and said, "Fang Fang is good, be with her, cure the disease and live a good life, your life should be on the right track, I have been delayed by me before." ”
Chen Er put his hand on my knee and said, "Xiao Chi, do you remember what we made an appointment at the beginning?" ”
I said, "Remember, if anyone becomes a burden on the other, they have to walk away right away." ”
He said, "Yes, that's the truth, never forget." ”
I said, "But you are not my burden." "At this point my tears immediately came down again.
Chen Er patted me on the shoulder and said, "Xiao Chi, do you believe in your fate?" ”
I said, "Sometimes I believe, but I don't believe all." ”
Chen Er said: "I am too, but I believe that there is a relationship between people. What is the name of you, me, Xu Xiaofeng, Liu Fang, and your current object? ”
I said, "Li Fan." ”
He nodded, "And Li Fan, they are all fate, and they lead the whole body." ”
I heard the sound and asked, "Does Liu Fang know about Xu Xiaofeng?" ”
Chen Er looked at the void, and his lips squirmed rapidly: "I haven't told you all these years, the medicine we fed Xu Xiaofeng that year, such a large dose of medicine, is Liu Fang's help me get it through her father's relationship, and I really owe her."
Recently the bridge is going to be demolished, the media have begun to turn over the old accounts, she is not a stupid person, has already made some associations, the other day she took words to point at me, asked me what was the relationship between you and Xu Xiaofeng? You know that people are terrible, and I have to find a way to shut her mouth. In the past few years, you have recovered from the nightmare of that year and started to live a normal life, and I can't let anything else affect you. ”
I laughed almost desperately: "So you're going to be with her?" Do you use yourself as a sealing fee for her? ”
Chen Er said: "I am with her, she will not bear to betray me, we are all safe." ”
I said, "But you don't love her, you're forcing yourself." ”
Chen Er smiled, "Didn't you mean the same thing as me in those years?" You don't love me, you just think you owe me to be with me. ”
I said, "I do owe you, and if it weren't for me you wouldn't have been so sick." At this point I almost couldn't stop crying.
Chen Er touched my hair: "What do you say?" My illness is that I am not angry with myself, what does it have to do with you? I leaned on him and wept, and I said, "The Buddha heard, so my retribution is due to you." ”
5
In 19 years, Xu Ning found Chen Er.
At that time, my relationship with Chen Er had become protracted. Chen Er is not in good health, and always feels that he cannot give me a happy life, and I have just come out of the shadow of depression and just found a job as a reporter for this website.
Life seems to have just opened a new curtain for me, and I dare not imagine what I would become if I was interrupted by Xu Xiaofeng's shadow again. What they talked to Chen Er, I have no way of knowing.
Chen Er called me that night, and he said: "Xiao Chi, things are very troublesome, they may find the police, I plan to go to the field to avoid the wind, no matter what, can not implicate you." I could barely speak in panic and could only emit a series of animal-like whimpers in my nose.
Chen Er said, "Let's separate for a while, don't worry about me." I said, "So what if they find you?" If they find out that they were on that bridge..." Chen Er interrupted me, he said: "We have made a pact, no matter who it is, as long as it becomes a burden on the other party, it must go away immediately, and now they suspect that it is me, so it is me who should go away." Remember, no matter what they ask you, forget about the Lumen Bridge that night. ”
I can't forget anything. My father made me understand in a personal way that the last thing I can do in life is to be in debt, debt to people, otherwise I will be uneasy for a lifetime. So I vowed not to let Chen Er sacrifice more for me.
The crisis slipped through with the ringing of the 20-year-old New Year's bell. The police did ask Chen Er to understand the situation, but there was no directing evidence, and in the end, everything could only be silenced.
Chen Er was back in my life, but his place on the chessboard had changed. He started running around the hospital all day, and I concentrated on my interview work, and when we met again, we looked at each other and saw the past that we didn't want to mention, so we went down the river like that and broke up completely.
At present, Chen Er has begun to prepare to go to other places for treatment, but the tree wants to be quiet and the wind is not stopping, many media have begun to hype Up Xu Xiaofeng's suicide case that year, suggesting that there is about to be key new evidence surfaced, the public opinion hot search list has been discussed for several days, Li Fan's former photographic works have also been forwarded and commented by various celebrities, people look at pictures and talk, make up a variety of bizarre stories, and the appetite has been hung very high.
I know that this is Miss Wang's handwriting. She used her experience with the media to carefully set off the atmosphere, and soon announced a new exhibition, which will surely become a hit. But it didn't go her way. Because the photos copied from Li Fan's computer, I have asked someone to crack them. Those few photos, nothing was taken at all.
I gave the picture to the editor and asked him to find the right time to send it. Wouldn't it be more interesting to put the material out and tell the hungry public that what they longed to see was nothing more than an empty deal?
I just didn't expect that Miss Wang actually took the initiative to ask me to meet.
It was raining lightly that day, the humidity was extremely high, and the clothes were wet and greasy on the body. Miss Wang wore that familiar trench coat, which I used to wear at home, and I wonder if there is still my smell on it? Anyway, she was dressed very well—sitting in a café with her back straight, and from the side, she looked like a small angel statue.
I walked in, smiled at her, nodded, and held out my hand. She responded enthusiastically, inviting me to sit down and apologize to me – after all, she broke the agreement with me and first cooperated with other media.
She explained to me that because a media outlet had published a suicide attempt not long ago on the Lumen Bridge, she had combed back to Xu Xiaofeng's death when looking back on similar suicide cases before. The clever Miss Wang immediately noticed that the day Xu Xiaofeng died was exactly the time of Li Fan's shooting.
"The other day the media also took us to see the father of the suicidal person, the old man's surname is Xu, he was very kind to us, he said that for ten years he never believed that his son would commit suicide, and he even suspected that his son was actually killed!" Miss Wang's tone was a little unusually excited, and her palms clapped on the wooden tabletop, "Do you understand what I mean, Chi reporter?" The rain and night may have become accomplices, covering up the traces of the murderer! Maybe we photographed not only the Lumen Bridge on a rainy night, but also the figure of a murderous demon on a rainy night! ”
My heart was beating like thunder, they had already met Xu Ning. It turned out that the reporter who accompanied Xu Ning to see xu Ning last time was them. Chen Er said it well, pulling his whole body, everyone was tied up in this round around the Lumen Bridge, and no one could easily get out. But I tried my best to keep my composure. I said, "So you're looking for someone to fix the picture, how's it going?" ”
Miss Wang showed a subtle smile in the corner of her eyes: "There is indeed progress, so I let Li Fan accept a few interviews in advance." ”
I didn't speak, speculating about the temperature in her words. Looking down at his mobile phone, Li Fan was sending me a message: "Did you take my old computer?" I'll get it for you tonight. ”
Miss Wang gently stirred the coffee cup, "Some of the waste films taken that year are stored in his old computer, I came back this time, I wanted to take the photo and break up with him, but he said that the computer was missing, I saw that he was deliberately delaying time, maybe he still wanted to keep me." Chi reporter, do you say that men are so troublesome? ”
I said dryly, "I don't know, I don't know much about men." ”
Li Fan's message continued to send: "Where do we see you?" I'm going to eat dinner with her, so I'd better wait for her to go to bed, she always goes to bed around half past ten, and when she's sound asleep, I'll come back to you. ”
Miss Wang coughed twice: "In fact, as your reporter, you should understand how to find clues from the details, and then put together those things like rags." Sometimes spelling out a big story that is surprising. This is actually very similar to the relationship between men and women. I don't believe you don't know much about men, in fact I think you have a lot of setter for men, like your sick ex-boyfriend, what's his name? Chen Er is not? ”
I looked up at Miss Wang: "You investigate me?" ”
She almost didn't bother to deny it: "As a woman, my intuition is very accurate." At first I was just curious, what is the purpose of you coming to me? I have seen many women who have come for Li Fan over the years, and you are not the same. For a while I thought you were trying to dig out Li Fan's black material, until I found more and more news, I put the puzzle piece by piece, I realized that you have other purposes. ”
The phone vibrated, I glanced down, or Li Fan's message: "Why don't you return me?" What are you doing? Pick a place where we'll meet! ”
I pulled down my phone and asked Miss Wang, "Then what is my purpose?" ”
Miss Wang's face was pasted over, in fact, she looked very beautiful, but now that small pink triangle face made my teeth cold, she smiled and squinted: "I know that you are the girlfriend of the deceased Xu Xiaofeng, Xu Xiaofeng's father said that his son was killed by you, but there was no evidence, until I looked back at the photos of that year, I didn't realize it." ”
At this point, she suddenly lowered her voice, and the two thin lips squirmed with an air tone, "Maybe in the photos we took that day, it was you the murderer!" Not even you, but Chen Er, isn't it? ”
My brain was about to explode, and the photos in Li Fan's computer didn't capture anything at all, unless she had other pictures in her hand! The sound of rain outside the window was getting stronger, and I was so cold that I almost fell into a nightmare about the Lumen Bridge.
At this moment, the mobile phone rang suddenly, saving me from the trance, it was Chen Er. I grabbed my phone and glanced at Miss Wang. She got up sympathetically: "I'll go to the bathroom and we'll talk later." ”
I said, "You answer me a question first, do you have any other pictures in your hand?" ”
Miss Wang smiled, bent down and patted my face: "Fool, in fact, I also went to the Lumen Bridge that night, and I also took pictures under the bridge." ”
I looked at her back, picked up the phone, and Chen Er's voice came: "Xiao Chi, I have booked a ticket, how about your side?" ”
I said, "You don't have to worry, I'll take care of everything this time." "What are you going to do?" Chen Er asked, "Do you use the medicine I gave you to deal with?" Promise me, don't do anything stupid. I choked in my throat, for a while too much internal situation is difficult to explain, at this time he heard Liu Fang's voice again, I did not say it again, directly hung up the phone.
I sprinkled the powder into Miss Wang's coffee cup. The biggest advantage of this medicine is that it is easy to dissolve, but the dose is very large, and I need to stir it for a while.
While stirring, I sent a message to Li Fan: "See you at eleven o'clock tonight at Lumen Bridge." ”
6
At eleven o'clock, Li Fan arrived by car. The cool breeze of winter nights hits people's hearts. A dim street lamp was nearly damaged and flickering in the corner. There are already signs prohibiting traffic in front of you.
I stood at the head of the bridge, facing west of the bridge. Looking at the eighth pillar on the left, it is the location where Xu Xiaofeng fell off the bridge that year. The vast river water rushed under the bridge. They don't yet know what will be swallowed, even though they can devour everything.
"Did you bring your computer?" Li Fan walked behind me, his voice looking cold in the night, "You give me something, I have to leave quickly, my girlfriend has been busy outside all day today, and she hasn't come home yet, I want to find her." ”
Of course Miss Wang will not go home, and she will never go home again.
I stepped forward and hugged Li Fan, my chin floating over his shoulder blades. I seemed to see another self in the void, like a person in the mirror, manipulating me to make a voice: "You won't see her again." ”
"Are you crazy?" Li Fan he pushed me away, I looked at him, I don't know why I started laughing, I was sure I was laughing. I said, "Actually, she photographed me that day. ”
On the evening of December 6, 2010, the typhoon made landfall, and the rain was suddenly heavy and small. Xu Xiaofeng came to me again. He harassed me three times that month, twice in his dorm and once downstairs in my dorm. The third time I told him I was going to kill him.
He scoffed, "What are you going to kill?" He said: "I have calculated everything, kill me and you are finished, you are also a faceless person when you go out, when you come home, your parents will still let you follow me, and you will suffer losses horizontally and vertically." ”
He said: "You'd better get pregnant with my species and let the whole school see which pure female college student just entered the school door and got a big belly?" Don't think I don't know, you've been getting close to other boys lately, and I've told my dad that you're a broken shoe, you just don't discipline. ”
I admit that I did kill at that moment. Freezing three feet is not a cold day, if I had made my words clear from the beginning, or fought with him, it would have been impossible to get to this point. But by now, the feud between me and him had gone beyond the old accounts between my dad and his dad, and had become my new hatred for him.
So I went to find Chen Er, we met in the public election class, he liked me very much, but because he was sick, he did not dare to confess to me. I went to look for him that day, and I was holding a broken heart.
I said to him, "As long as you help me get rid of Xu Xiaofeng, I will be with you forever." ”
Chen Er said: "Don't say this first, let's give that bastard a little color first, today it rained heavily, we poured him out of the medicine, cleaned him up, and threw him outside the school." ”
I said, "I'm afraid it's not enough." Chen Er said: "I am sick, the kind of sleeping pills I eat, imported from abroad, the dosage is very large, you give him to eat, it is definitely enough." ”
I said, "That's not what it means. Chen Er hesitated slightly and asked me, "Then what do you think?" I didn't answer. Some of the answers are really difficult to say, but I do think: Xu Xiaofeng will not die, but I am afraid that I will not live in the future.
That night I let Xu Xiaofeng drink the medicine to go to sleep, and then called Chen Er. By this time it was already raining heavily outside, and I was shivering and feeling out of breath all the time.
Chen Er hurriedly found a huge raincoat for me to put on, and the two of us walked out with Xu Xiaofeng. The rain mixed with my tears, Chen Er's breathing was heavy, and Xu Xiaofeng's footsteps drifted, as if he had become an evil ghost floating on our shoulders in advance. At first, there was no purpose, I don't know whether it was me or Chen Er, silently pointing his footsteps to the Lumen Bridge.
That night, because of the typhoon, the bridge had been closed to vehicles, the black lights were blind, and there was no shadow. That's it, we got on the bridge, and it was raining a lot. We walked forward along the stone pillars. At that time, there was no raised guardrail on the bridge, and only waist-high chains were simply blocked between the stone pillars.
One, two, three, and we walked to the eighth pillar. I couldn't walk, so I stopped. At that moment, I clearly heard a slight noise in Xu Xiaofeng's throat, the rain soaked him, his hair was like a wet rag, and like a dying octopus. But maybe he's about to wake up. At that moment, almost out of instinctive fear, I let go of the arm that was holding him.
Later, in a rainy curtain, I saw Xu Xiaofeng's body shake and fall forward. Closing his eyes and opening them again, his body was already like a lead block, falling towards the bridge, rushing into the river at once, instantly invisible. It was almost too late to shout, and a person was gone!
My hands were shaking, my teeth were shaking, and my whole body was almost about to jump. It was Chen Er who put his arm around me, and he was already soaking wet. "I killed people!" The words squirmed in my throat, "He fell because I let go of my hand!" It was Chen Er who said in my ear, "No matter what happens, I will bear it with you." ”
At that moment, we heard someone shouting at the head of the bridge: "Beware! Li Fan's photo spelled out the puzzle piece, making me understand that Li Fan's voice had become an eternal nightmare between me and Chen Er. At that time, we shrank into the shadows, letting the shadow of the bridge pillar become our shield.
For so many minutes, let the wind and rain blow, we did not dare to move. Fortunately, the sound did not sound again, and the two of us fled off the bridge in a hurry. On the way, I looked up, and I swore that I would never forget the Lumen Bridge that night, never forget the nightmares brought by Xu Xiaofeng and Xu Ning, and never forget my father's debts. Until I met Li Fan.
When I saw that picture, I had an induction. Hearing his voice, I almost stood up. I don't know if it was the fear that the lie would be punctured, or whether it was some deep-seated attachment to the truth that forced me to approach him uncontrollably. I'm afraid he'll find me, but I long for him to find me? Maybe that's the only way to get me off the spell.
Over the years, only Chen Er was an accomplice who was dragged into the water by me.
He told me many times: "The rain is so heavy, it is impossible for anyone to see the two of us standing on the bridge with Xu Xiaofeng, and even if there is, our caliber can only be: Xu Xiaofeng jumped down on his own, it has nothing to do with the two of us, and it has nothing to do with the hand that I suddenly let go." ”
But I understand that in front of Miss Wang's photo, all lies have disappeared.
She photographed us descending the bridge, and photographed me and Chen Er running off the bridge, and in the photo I was wearing a huge black raincoat, like the back of the god of death in the horror legend. Chen Er was exposed, his tall thin figure, and his slender arms waved up as he ran. Miss Wang is right, this is indeed evidence, evidence that must be destroyed.
At this time, it began to rain, and time and space seemed to repeat the same thing at the same time. I walked to the railing at the corner of the bridge, where my suitcase was placed, the one I had brought out of Li Fan's house. I looked at Li Fan: "Give it back to you." ”
What is it? Li Fan's eyes were suspicious, he seemed to have foreseen some kind of terror in advance, and his voice trembled: "What is in this box?" ”
"All your stuff," I said, "your computer, and yours her." ”
Li Fan's eyes widened, he hesitated slightly, and then he rushed forward, and he pulled open the biggest zipper. He made this move wisely, because the stiff human body was forming a bulge in some strange posture. The zipper was only half open, and one hand was propped up. The hands were white and tender, but the nails were broken. When I tried to tuck her into the suitcase, because her arms were too long to fit, I used a shovel to push her in from top to bottom. It was then that her fingernails were broken.
Li Fan let out a short cry, and he bent his knees down, almost on his knees. The zipper of the box was propped open, and more things were exposed... Li Fan covered his eyes and began to vomit.
It's no longer negotiable. In fact, he could not have died, but his attitude towards me made it impossible for me not to hate him—the kind of way he showed love for me while not taking me seriously. I walked up behind him and sent the knife straight in from his lower back, and the blood poured out quickly, and he moaned quickly.
At this point, you have to be quick, as he said, processing photos requires waiting for that sacred moment to come, and in fact, the same is true for people who deal with them.
Before he could fight back, I raised his leg in a huff, and Li Fan flipped off the railing. The next step was not difficult, I re-closed the zipper of the suitcase, and then dragged the box over and pushed it down. The falling black dots and the gradually larger rain curtain, as well as the dead heart on the bridge, constitute a new rainy night Lumen Bridge.
At this moment, wrapped in great weariness and fear, the only thing I wanted to hear was Chen Er's voice. I wanted to tell him right away that the problem had been solved! The shadow in our hearts over the years will no longer exist! He can be confident and bold to start a new life, and I can start mine! However, after the phone was connected, it was Liu Fang's voice that came.
"Chi Yuan?" She was no longer enthusiastic, as if the whole person was frozen in the rain.
"Fangfang, you and Chen Er, you..." I spoke incoherently, "Are you leaving?" ”
"Chen Er, he went to turn himself in," Liu Fang said, and suddenly, mourning erupted in her throat, "He asked me to tell you, leave everything alone." The lumen bridge and Xu Xiaofeng's affairs have nothing to do with you. He lets you go and fly high, he says you can get your life on track, and that's what he owes you. ”
Impossible, no, obviously I owe him, obviously I have arranged everything, there will be no new evidence, there will be no more days of worry, I have done my best to get everything back on track!
"Chen Er said that he didn't know what you were going to do, but what he asked of you was not to do anything," Liu Fang cried, "because he is the murderer, he deserves it." ”
No, I'm the murderer! It was because I had a murderous heart, because I let go, because I hated Xu Xiaofeng, so I was full of regret, so I couldn't be at peace, so I would kill Miss Wang and Li Fan!
Liu Fang said, "Chen Er asked me to tell you that when I was on the bridge, he pushed Xu Xiaofeng. ”
I looked down at the blood on my hands, and their color faded as the rain washed away. Rub it, but more blood gushes out.
It turned out I had a wound too, and it started to bleed. The blood dripped and rushed, mixing with the water on the bridge deck, and my eyes followed them, and they rushed toward the railing, and then flowed through the gap. I followed to the railing. Right there, I put my phone on the floor.
Liu Fang's voice continued: "Chen Er said that you have never killed anyone, and your life is still saved." Chi Yuan, you can also walk back to the right path. Are you listening to me? Chi Yuan? feed? Chi Yuan? ”
It was too late.
I closed my eyes. (Original title: "Rainy Night Lumen Bridge")
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