The 2-year-old, without the help of his family, delivers things to his dad's company alone.
The 3-year-old goes to the supermarket on his own to buy the designated goods and goes home smoothly.
A 3-year-old squeezes out a glass of fresh juice without parental guidance.
Each episode of Netflix's reality SHOW "Old Enough" will arrange for children to complete the "first" errand in their lives, so that parents can re-recognize their children's potential "huge" energy.
Nephi's new show wasn't a new idea, because Nippon TV in Japan had a similar show back in 1991, and I was just drawn to the show's name and poster. I jumped up with excitement when I saw a 3-year-old walking through a few blocks alone to deliver something to Dad; I screamed in surprise when I saw a 2-year-old going shopping alone; and I couldn't help but take a cool breath when I saw a 5-year-old throwing his "task" down the road. On the way to complete the "task", many passers-by will enthusiastically help them, but they have not asked the child "What about your father and mother".
Yes, "Raising a child requires a town, and taking care of a child also requires a town", the Japanese parent summed it up really well.
Seeing this, many parents want to say "just this, I can do it when I was a child". Yes, it's nothing, we can do it when we were kids, why can't our kids do it now?
We may complain about the large number of vehicles and the inability to guarantee safety, but ignore an important reason – the "overpricing" of parents. After the birth of the child, we all hope to be an enlightened parent, to let the child grow up freely and happily, but also to give the child full love. I don't know when it started, we are afraid that they will be hurt, frustrated, always in the name of "love", always hovering around the children, protecting and caring for them, becoming a full-fledged "helicopter parent"
What is Helicopter Parent?
The term helicopter parent first appeared in Dr. Haim Ginott's book Parents and Teens, and usually refers to parents who help high school or college students complete course choices, interest arrangements, communicate with teachers, and other tasks that they could have completed independently. In fact, helicopter parenting is suitable for parents of children of any age, even parents of young children.
When learning to walk, parents begin to constantly influence their children, pointing at their movements. In elementary school, parents will not only complete their children's homework, but also choose friends and even teachers for them.
Therefore, the famous psychologist Dr. Ann Dunnewold said: "Helicopter parenting is over-parenting, and parents participate in their children's lives in an over-controlled, over-protective, over-perfect way, and this parenting style that goes beyond responsibility is helicopter parenting."
What kind of parents are most likely to become "helicopter parents"
Look at other people's children, and then look at your own children, are you also beginning to doubt that you are over-parenting, whether you are a helicopter parent? Let's take a look at the 5 characteristics of helicopter parents, welcome to self-examination
1, do not accept imperfection
Parents themselves are perfectionists, and neither life nor work is allowed to make any mistakes. This standard is not only based on oneself, but also imposed on children. They arrange everything for the children, ask them to go according to their own arrangements, and remove all obstacles for them.
2, so strong
In general, anxiety and fear are common traits for helicopter parents. When you see that other parents have signed up for interest classes for their children, they do not ask their children whether they like it or not, and they will also follow the trend to sign up, in the final analysis, it is still the heart of "competing and competitive" at work.
3, feel indebted to the child
Some parents have not been around their children for a long time due to work, and a sense of guilt has arisen. The more guilt these parents feel, the more they want to compensate. As soon as you see your child, you want to double down on your child, pay more attention and protection, and respond to every need, even if you don't have a request.
4. Strong desire to control
Some helicopter parents have a strong sense of control, often thinking that their children are their own appendages and deciding everything for them. As small as dressing and walking, as large as marriage and work, they have to intervene and even force children to obey.
5, the child is mine, I can say, others can't
Helicopter parents also have a disadvantage, that is, "family ugly" can not be publicized, that is to say, the child makes a mistake, I can say whatever, but outsiders can not say that my child is "not good". When others count down children, they often say, "He's still a child."
Helicopter parents in the name of "love" do harm to their children
It is of course a good thing for parents to pay attention to, accompany and take care of their children, and can enhance their children's sense of belonging, security and self-confidence. However, the love of parents for their children should also have a boundary, and love without boundaries is also a kind of harm.
1. Destroy the child's self-esteem and self-confidence
Helicopter parents cleared all the difficulties and obstacles in their children's lives and learning, but the results backfired. Excessive parental involvement can send a false message to the child – "my parents don't believe me", which greatly hurts the child's self-esteem and self-confidence.
2, lost opportunities to grow
If parents always help their children deal with the mess in life and learning, then they will lose the opportunity to learn how to deal with loss, failure, disappointment. Once a child goes into society, he or she is unable to cope with the normal pressures of life.
3. Increase children's anxiety
The University of Washington study found that over-parented children were also more likely to develop anxiety and depression.
4. Feeling of powerlessness
Helicopter parents tend to have a strong sense of control and like to arrange everything in life, study, and even relationships and work for their children. In the face of such a stubborn behavior of parents, children can only obey and endure when they are young, and once they grow up, they will have a rebellious and rebellious psychology.
5. Poor living ability
Some parents dot on their children, and even the simplest things of tying shoes, eating, and brushing their teeth will be done for their children. Parents love their children while preventing them from mastering these life skills, resulting in life being unable to take care of themselves.
How helicopter parents should land
It is really not easy to be a parent, and if the child manages too tightly, he will become a flower in the greenhouse; if he manages too loosely, he is worried that they will go down the evil road. Although it is difficult to educate children, it is still necessary to grasp the scale, learn to let go, and let children learn to face life.
The child fell, don't rush to get up!
If the homework is not finished, parents should not write it for him!
After all, disappointment, sadness, and suffering are something that everyone has to experience, and children are no exception.
Let the child learn to face it, more important than our habitual shots.
What parents have to do is to teach and learn at the same time, constantly adjust the parenting style, and cooperate with the child to grow up slowly!