Don't be stupid, you only have him, but he's not just you.
In the feelings, we must have the courage to move forward, but also have the wisdom of stopping losses in time, and the feelings that are not suitable for us must learn to stop losses in time, because feelings can never be completed by one person, and the twisted melon will not be sweet, only in this way can the harm be minimized.
She is not suitable for marriage and being a wife at all
Zhang Yu (pseudonym) and boyfriend Chu Tianhe (pseudonym) have been together for 11 years, they are pregnant with an 11-year-old son before marriage, and Zhang Yu has repeatedly asked for a marriage license over the years, but Chu Tianhe will prevaricate for various reasons.
Until the end of last year, Chu Tianhe finally relaxed his willingness to marry Zhang Yu and officially became a couple, at this time, the 39-year-old Zhang Yu was immersed in the joy of being a wife, but the good times were not long, Chu Tianhe turned back again, not only that, but also directly moved out of the family.
Later, Zhang Yu learned from his son that his father took a strange woman to school to pick him up and bought a new car for the woman. Zhang Yu's brain exploded with a bang, and she suspected that Chu Tianhe's regurgitation was related to this woman.
In order to find out the truth of the matter, Zhang Yu found out Chu Tianhe's residence after many days of inquiry, and she wanted to go to Chu Tianhe for a while, at least there must be an explanation, right?
However, when chu tianhe's rental house was found, although she broke her throat, no one in the back room responded, and the phone call was hung up one after another, and it was learned through the nearby neighbors that the 3rd floor did live a couple of men and women, at least half a year, and the usual relationship was also very good, if it were not for Zhang Yu to come to the door, they all thought that people were the two loving couples.
Hearing the neighbor's words, Zhang Yu was angry and helpless, but there was no way to find anyone, that could only squat, so for several days in a row, Zhang Yu finally figured out Chu Tianhe's living habits, anyway, every night at eight or nine o'clock Chu Tianhe would come back.
At 9 o'clock that night, the lights in Chu Tianhe's room had been turned on, according to the reason, knocking on the door could learn the truth, but Zhang Yu became nervous, she carefully looked at the garbage at the door, the takeaway list was written with the name of a strange woman, it was obvious that the boyfriend and the woman had lived together for many days.
Maybe the movement outside the door is too big, just at this time, the room door suddenly opened, the conflict is also on the verge of breaking out, people still think who is sneaking around? Fortunately, after seeing it clearly, the war was calmed. I have to say that people still have to be bright and upright, so it is easy to get hurt by mistake.
After entering the house, Zhang Yu immediately pointed the finger at Liao Jing (pseudonym), who was sitting on the side playing with her mobile phone, and she bluntly said that she was the child's mother, Chu Tianhe was the child's father, and this woman was destroying our family.
However, Liao Jing seemed very calm, and she felt a little ridiculous when she heard this sentence, she retorted to Zhang Yu, Chu Tianhe is not married, I am not married, I am her legitimate girlfriend, where did I come from to destroy your family, your sons are 11 years old, do you have a marriage license?
In this way, the two women quarreled, and Chu Tianhe stood in the middle to maintain Liao Jing, sometimes really trying to understand one thing, that is, why women should embarrass women.
Zhang Yu scolded Liao Jing for bringing a child, Chu Tianhe did not raise his own son but went to raise other people's children, Liao Jing also scolded these things that had nothing to do with Zhang Yu, because his and Chu Tianhe's love affair is something you love and I wish, and did not destroy other people's families.
In order to prove herself, Liao Jing also opened the wardrobe, she said that these are her own things, from the beginning to this room, there are no women's supplies, and Chu Tianhe is also single, otherwise she would not talk to Chu Tianhe about friends, so there is no existence to destroy other people's families.
The quarrel between these two women is nothing more than this matter, saying that it is just a dispute over Chu Tianhe, in the end, we still have to listen to what Chu Tianhe said, and after the quarrel subsided, Chu Tianhe opened his mouth.
He confessed that Zhang Yu was not his fiancée, not even his ex-girlfriend, he had been parting ways for many years, it was Zhang Yu who had to be entangled, and now Liao Jing was his true love, and Zhang Yu was also trying to destroy his new feelings with Liao Jing.
Although he and Zhang Yu have a son, but never a romantic relationship, this eleven years they have also found a lot of girlfriends, this is their right, after all, there is no marriage license, no marriage, if there is, it is impossible to find a girlfriend, and these Zhang Yu also know, is Zhang Yu unilaterally refused to let go.
Hearing that Chu Tianhe was unwilling to admit that he was his girlfriend, Zhang Yuhe rebuked Chu Tianhe for lying, he had lived in his home for more than ten years, and his relatives knew him.
At this time, Chu Tianhe's face was full of disgust and disgust, and he confessed that he had never taken Zhang Yu home, she had gone by herself, and even if there was no Liao Jing's existence, he would not marry her.
Because I had a child at that time, I also wanted to do a good job in this home, and I rarely lived in the factory, and I would go home every day, but I couldn't go on, if Zhang Yu was a good woman, which man would not want to live with her? She never pays attention to the family, just like the garbage dump, change to any man, will you go to live with her?
I do a good job of home hygiene, within two days it was chaotic, I cooked the food she did not eat, I washed the dishes and chopsticks she will throw away, she threw chopsticks in the trash every day, in the end, she is not suitable for marriage as a wife.
Such a burial, Zhang Yu is also a big fire, you are suitable for being a husband, you are suitable for being a father, yes, you are most suitable to be the father of others, your own children do not care, you are so noble.
It is not difficult to see that this is not the solution to the problem, the quarrel will only make everyone's emotions excited, shunshi, Chu Tianhe also found the steps, I am not good, I am not excellent, then you go to find someone else, what is the matter with me? I have long said that you should find someone to marry, you want to be excellent, there will be a lot of men to like you, to chase you.
In Chu Tianhe's thoughts, Zhang Yu is useless, sloppy, lazy, even the most basic housework is not good, he also thought about marrying Zhang Yu for the sake of his children, but he really can't fall in love with Zhang Yu, and getting along with her is too depressing, so he wants to escape, most of the time he is wandering.
At the same time, Chu Tianhe also said that he rented a room for the child and Zhang Yu, so many years the child's basic expenses are also out of their own, never asked Zhang Yu to ask for a penny, in short, he fulfilled his responsibility as a father, and did not owe anything, these can go to the school to ask the teacher for verification.
Chu Tianhe is only willing to be responsible for the child, and is not willing to be responsible for Zhang Yu, hearing Chu Tianhe's attitude, Zhang Yu is very heartbroken, she said that Chu Tianhe has harmed himself for a lifetime, ruined his life, and he is still telling lies, and the reputation fee is compensated.
And Chu Tianhe also said what he looked like with Zhang Yu, he was the one who was dragged down, and the loss fee did not want her to pay for it.
Helpless Zhang Yu turned around and chose to leave, perhaps for her, staying here would only be self-insulting, Chu Tianhe did not have an attitude to solve things at all, and endless quarrels would only make others see jokes.
A bad encounter, an unexpected pregnancy, 11 years ruined
Back at the rental house, Zhang Yu told about the bad encounter with Chu Tianhe 11 years ago, when Chu Tianhe still had a girlfriend, but the confused Zhang Yu still had an imaginary beautiful encounter with him, and then left Chu Tianhe.
However, three months later, Zhang Yu found that this encounter was not beautiful, but it was still very bad, because she was pregnant, and Zhang Yu directly thought that this child was Chu Tianhe's.
No way, since you have a child, then go to Chu Tianhe, but Chu Tianhe doesn't think so, is there such a coincidence? Are you afraid that you will take me as a wrongdoer?
In order to prove his innocence, Zhang Yu, who was angry, gave birth to the child, and the result was self-evident that the child was Chu Tianhe. Zhang Yu originally thought that he and Chu Tianhe could get married and live for a lifetime, but the truth was terrible, and 11 years of time were wasted.
Recalling that Chu Tianhe did not admit his identity, Zhang Yu found out the clothes left by Chu Tianhe from the wardrobe, spring, summer, autumn and winter, she said that Chu Tianhe had never lived here, how could there be clothes here? I used to live here until last year when I completely moved out.
But it is not difficult to see that the placement of the room is indeed disorganized, the clothes are stuffed on the bed and all corners, and the living room is also chaotic, there are few places to get off the feet.
However, Zhang Yu said that it was not that he did not want to clean up, but that the home was relatively narrow, there was no place to put it, and there was not even a decent furniture, it could only be placed on the ground, and it could not be cleaned up anywhere.
Seeing that he and his son had rented a house with one room and one hall for many years, and there was only one bed, his son was so old that it was not convenient to live at all, but looking at Chu Tianhe and Liao Jing, who had rented a two-bedroom house, Zhang Yu's heart was even more unbalanced.
At this time, Zhang Yu shed sad tears, she said that she did not think so much at the beginning, with a child with Chu Tianhe, and never asked him for anything, other girls got married and had everything, and she had nothing in the past 11 years.
Although the 49-year-old Chu Tianhe now has a new girlfriend, Zhang Yu still wants to save him because she does not want her son to not have a complete family.
The next day, Zhang Yu found Chu Tianhe's brother, and she hoped that the Chu family could make decisions for themselves. It turned out that the Chu family had three brothers, and Chu Tianhe ranked old and young, he was also the most business-minded one, and he partnered with friends to engage in iron ore, and was a well-known local mine owner.
The Chu family has painstakingly persuaded Chu Tianhe, hoping that he can live a good life and take care of the family, but Chu Tianhe loves to play by nature, and he can't listen to anyone's persuasion at all, and still goes his own way. They thought that Zhang Yu was a person who lived a life, his sons were so old, they could live together at once, but Chu Tianhe refused.
The sister-in-law on the side felt that Zhang Yu had suffered a loss without a license, because Chu Tianhe had a marriage before, and also bought a house, but his ex-wife could not have children, so he chose to divorce, so Chu Tianhe did not want anything, the house did not want, and now the son born to Zhang Yu is the only child of Chu Tianhe.
At the same time, the eldest sister-in-law also persuaded Zhang Yu to choose to give up, and Chu Tianhe once told them that he hated Zhang Yu for not working well, sloppy, and nothing else.
Moreover, the objects that Chu Tianhe is looking for are all strong women who are strong outside and strong in the inner show, who can stand alone, in contrast, Zhang Yu is slightly lacking in ability from any point of view, and naturally cannot get Chu Tianhe's cherishing, instead of struggling, it is better to let go decisively.
In this regard, Zhang Yu fell into contemplation, and that afternoon, she made an appointment with Chu Tianhe again and decided to make a decision. Chu Tianhe took the lead in saying that it was impossible to live with Zhang Yu.
At this point, Zhang Yu can only say something realistic, the premise of the breakup is to settle down with himself and his children, since he bought a car for Liao Jing and helped her raise a child, then his son must at least have a place to live, at least to buy a house for his son, after all, he is biological.
But Chu Tianhe thinks that whether his son has a house to live in is his own business, and Has nothing to do with Zhang Yu, and her son she can't afford to raise, can't control, his son is very rebellious, addicted to playing with mobile phones, often does not listen to her words, unwilling to go home, but his son is different with himself, mobile phones he does not dare to play, money put there he does not dare to take a point.
Chu Tianhe proposed that either the son should be raised by himself, and everything else did not need zhang Yu to bear, or Zhang Yu should be given two thousand yuan a month as child support, or everything would be business as usual, all the children's expenses would be borne by themselves, and Zhang Yu could not interfere in his private life or harass himself.
However, these were all opposed by Zhang Yu, and she wanted Chu Tianhe to raise her son while selling the car, and then pay a down payment to her son to buy a commercial house, and she could pay back every month, because her son was 11 years old, and during the rebellious period of adolescence, he should have a room of his own.
It's just that Zhang Yu's demands are unreasonable in Chu Tianhe's view, and he doesn't want to argue with Zhang Yu anymore, as if saying one more word is a waste of spitting, promising to be responsible for his son to the end, then turn around and drive away, after all, in 11 years, Zhang Yu still lost, lost nothing, only she stood alone here all kinds of messy.
Choice is more important than persistence
Choose feelings, after careful examination of each other in all aspects, and then determine whether the other party is worth entrusting for life, good feelings must not only have the joy of seeing at first sight, but also for a long time, sloppy choice, will only greatly increase the probability of instability.
For Zhang Yu, her choice is very wrong, an encounter, gambling to give birth to a child, and then will be on this relationship for 11 years, in fact, every step is wrong, the so-called step wrong, step by step wrong, if you find a single-minded, one-hearted person at the beginning, maybe today will have a different ending.
11 years of entanglement in exchange for an empty, her unwilling, unbalanced, in the end only want to grab something for her son, but for Chu Tianhe, there is no love in his heart, stay with her for a second more feel disgusted, not willing to take care of her feelings, and talk about what to give her?
The road of life, choice is more important than persistence, disappointment is more, leaving is the best choice, let go of yourself, in order to embrace a better tomorrow, when you find that the choice is wrong, do not fall deeper and deeper, stop loss in time, the damage can be minimized.
What do you think of this 11-year empty feeling? Everyone is welcome to express their opinions and give different voices, thank you.