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The netizen letter said:
I fell in love and married freely with my ex-wife, and when the marriage came to the 7th year, I got involved in an extramarital affair. At that time, I felt that my lover was young and beautiful, and because of the trivialities of life and my ex-wife, I accumulated too many contradictions, so the idea of divorce was particularly strong. During this period, my ex-wife had retained me, but I felt that my ex-wife was somewhat unreasonable, so I tortured my ex-wife for nearly a month with blatant cohabitation with my lover, and finally, my ex-wife agreed to my divorce request.
When I divorced my ex-wife, I saved half of my savings, and the house, car, and children were all left to my ex-wife. Subsequently, because he could not afford to buy a house for the time being, he lived a life of renting a house with his lover. After actually living with my lover, I found that there were too many incompatibilities between us: 1) because I was 10 years older than my lover, so I had to take care of her emotions in all aspects of life, and she didn't know how to care about me at all, so that I was very tired with my lover; 2) Every time I went to my ex-wife's house to visit the children and came back, the lover would have a big fight with me; 3) the lover was not restrained in spending money, and after we were together, we lived a moonlight life.
After being with my lover for half a year, I may feel too depressed, so I have corrected some of my lover's daily habits. Lover's attitude: I can still be with you when you can't afford to buy a house and I'm ten years older, and you should feel fortunate that you are not qualified to correct my shortcomings. Because the lover does not know how to restrain at all, I gradually showed impatience in front of the lover. Eventually, the lover proposed a breakup with me, and I didn't do anything to hold on. After being abandoned by his lover, he remarried his ex-wife. Ex-wife's attitude: Send charcoal in the snow You are not there, the icing on the cake is who you are. Seeing my ex-wife's current desperate love, I found that the clown was actually myself.
Muzi Li emotional analysis:
You should have heard this sentence: husband and wife are still the original match. However, many people will always have such a sense of inferiority: their own children are good, and other people's husbands and wives are good. It comes from, many times, we just don't understand the opposite sex outside of our husband or wife, so we see only the advantages of others. Inevitably, when you establish a romantic relationship with your legitimate lover, you will also like each other, and you will finally be determined to be together. However, along with the progress of marriage, couples will definitely experience a lot of friction and misunderstanding, which is also an inevitable part of married life. It's just that some people are willing to solve problems when they encounter problems, and some people choose to vent with extramarital affairs when they encounter problems. At this time, because you are in a hot love period with your lover, you will feel that being with your lover is much easier than being with your legal lover, so that some people will divorce your lover and your legal lover. However, after a real divorce, after living with a lover, there is often such a feeling: the lover has not yet legally loved one to understand things. As a result, the decision to divorce will be particularly regrettable, and the key is that there will be no going back to the past.
At this moment, the truth of your ex-wife's heart: after your infidelity, she had very humbly pleaded with you not to withdraw from her. At that time, because she did not have the courage to face the divorce itself and was confused about life after the divorce. However, if you leave without emotion, she can only passively accept the reality of divorce. Believe me, in the beginning when you divorced your ex-wife and quickly moved in with your lover, your ex-wife was a bit worse than dead, and the child was the spiritual pillar that supported her to live. Gradually, time helped her heal the wounds of divorce. So that when she looks back at everything between you and you now, there is only one perception: it is not worth it. So, in the face of your request to remarry, she rejected you without thinking. It's just that you're the biological father of the child that she has to keep in touch with you. If you don't have children, it is estimated that your ex-wife will not want to look at you more.
Let's talk about you and your lover: at the beginning, you were just confused by her young beauty, so that many people will have this illusion, as long as the other party is beautiful enough, then the other party must be reliable. In fact, a person's unreliability needs to have a certain understanding of the other person's human nature before making a conclusion. Obviously, after half a year of living with your lover, you finally see the ugliness of each other's human nature, so that she is no longer your little baby, nor is she your careful liver, but has become your burden, for this reason, your contradictions are more and more, so that you are no longer patient with her and feel that every minute with her is a torment, so when she mentions the breakup, you do not do the slightest retention. To be precise, when you were with each other, the other person was young and hoped to be a "parasite" in the relationship, and what you longed for was that the two people could form a good mutual relationship. Therefore, your relationship from the beginning is wrong, and you can only exchange for the end of the breakup.
When your ex-wife rejected your request to remarry, you must be particularly disappointed: a woman who once loved you very much was lost by your own hands. Now, you can only face the pain of losing your family and the pain of reminiscing about being with your lover. As a result, you will feel that you are simply a clown. The point is, there is no regret medicine in the world, otherwise, you will definitely rush to eat it. In this case, the things I can tell you are: 1) life will eventually go on, so you need to carry on the burden of your mistakes and regrets, work harder, at least, you are still the father of the child, you have the responsibility and obligation to help the child to fight for a good future; 2) you will eventually reorganize the marriage, when choosing the remarriage partner, be sure to examine the humanity of the other party, and after the reorganization of the marriage must ensure the loyalty to the marriage; 3) admit that your ex-wife will no longer accept your reality, in later life In addition to visiting the children, don't create entanglements in your ex-wife's life, after all, when you divorce, you have already asked for the other party's half-life, and less entanglement in the future life is the last kindness to her and the children; 4) If one day, your ex-wife reorganizes the marriage, you can not bless, but you must not do damage, after all, it is not easy for her to take the child alone, she also needs to have a companion by her side, but that person is no longer you.
Muzi Li life insights:
We are busy all our lives, and in addition to filling our stomachs, we also need to make ourselves feel at ease. All acts of harming others will one day bring themselves retribution. Once, some people felt that marriage was unhappy and found a lover for themselves. The end result is: when you divorced, you asked your lover for half a life, and later your lover also let you take half a life. The point is that after being burned by your lover, when you think of your ex, your ex will not give you the opportunity to correct your mistakes.
In this world, the earth will still turn without anyone, but many times, people will be heartbroken when faced with the decision to separate, but once separation becomes an established fact, then they will use their own good way to heal their own wounds. During this time, time is the best medicine to heal injuries. Once the person who had been emotionally asked for half a life came out of the pain of separation, then he would be particularly desperate for the person who had hurt him, without the child to do the entanglement.