Text | Rice grain mother
A recent video went viral, a father took his 5-year-old son to McDonald's to eat, the son saw a foreigner next to him, so he went over to talk, and the foreigner directly said "get out!" ", leaving the child embarrassed in place.
The child's father was furious, demanded an apology from foreigners on the spot, and recorded a video and posted it online, hoping that foreigners would die and be judged by public opinion.
Judging from the video, the foreign man later apologized to the father and son, but the father was obviously not satisfied with the result and tried to send the video to the big V to submit, hoping to let the matter ferment on the Internet.
But things did not develop as expected by this father, and netizens actually pointed their guns at this father.
Rice grain mother felt that although foreigners said "get out!" "It's really rude. But this father raised this matter to the level of national righteousness, and tried to get the whole network to denounce this foreigner, which is not too polite.
After all, as netizens say, fast food restaurants are not English corners, and not all passers-by are obliged to accompany your children to practice English. After all, he was just a McDonald's customer who went to dinner.
A sense of boundaries between people
In fact, everyone has a comfortable social distance, and if you cross this boundary of others, it will really make people feel very offended.
Foreigners are also ordinary people, he may be like us, carrying a bunch of bad things, full of negative energy, just want to eat a light meal alone, and as a result, strangers come over to talk hard.
In fact, in a non-learning environment, strangers are indeed not obliged to cooperate with us to practice English. Before picking up, you should be prepared to be rejected, because the other party can indeed have two choices: accept or reject, which is the power of others.
In the opinion of the rice grain mother, it is true that foreigners in the world cannot be defaulted to as their own foreign teachers, so they will become very borderless, and such unpleasant things will happen.
I heard a colleague tell her about what she had seen, and it was on the subway. A junior high school student looks like a child reading a book seriously.
Then a strange female passenger next to him stepped forward very politely and said:
"You're amazing! So conscious, you have to read and study when you take the subway. I must take a picture of it for my children to see how strict people are with themselves! ”
Saying that, she took out her mobile phone to take a picture of the child reading a book. This kid's toes are about to be pulled out of the three-room living room.
Because the other party is an elder, it is not easy for the child to say anything. But he made a silent resistance and got up directly to another carriage. This female passenger was left in place, which was also very dead.
Really, the child in this matter is already super cultivated! He didn't think too much, he just chose to avoid it. If it is like a foreigner in a restaurant, maybe this matter is fermented, and I don't know whose head to put the pot on.
In fact, no matter how the boy chooses to refuse, the wrong party is this parent with no sense of boundaries. She first broke through the most basic social distance of others, and also imposed her own requirements on the other party, and it was possible for the other party to reject her or even intimidate her.
This is true in social life, and even more so in home education. Peeping into the child's diary and letters, tearing up the cartoons he drew in order to urge the child to study, these behaviors are typical of no sense of boundaries, especially harmful to others.
He was just a moral kidnapping of a child
The father in the incident has been consciously emphasizing that the child is only 5 years old. But netizens in the comment area immediately retorted:
"What's wrong with being only five? Can you bother others casually at the age of five? ”
"He's still a child", "It's coming", "New Year's Eve", "For your good", "How can I leave?" ”......
These sentences of moral kidnapping have long become memes ridiculed by the entire Internet group, and no one buys them.
It is true that a five-year-old does not understand the sense of boundaries, but as an adult father, does not understand either?
And at that time, it was indeed the father who encouraged the child to go over to talk, and if there was no father's support, the five-year-old child might not have spontaneously come over to pick up.
This was frightened, and the five-year-old child was said to be something, of course, netizens did not accept it.
I remember a news story that said that a 6-year-old boy from Hangzhou had rowed a Mercedes-Benz car, but the owner's claim was angered by his parents: "He's just a child!" You let the police arrest him! ”
He even shouted loudly:
"The law can't restrain me..."
If the child scratches the car, if the parent can take this opportunity to educate the child well, the child will not make similar mistakes of destroying public and private property in the future, so that the bad thing will become a good thing.
But this parent did not think so, but used a set of crooked reasoning to anger the damaged car owner, and was not willing to bear the responsibility of being a guardian at all.
Although on the surface, this parent seems to have taken advantage, but the real loss is his own child, the child's three views are destroyed by himself and do not know it, so the child educated in this way, sooner or later the society will make up for this lesson.
Isn't this the case with the previous news, a six- or seven-year-old bear child, going to play at a relative's house, actually ran to the relative's study, played his piano indiscriminately, picked up a bottle of mineral water and poured it on the keys.
The relative was angry when he found out and asked him loudly: "What are you doing?" ”
The bear child said, "I'm helping you wash the piano." ”
So angry that his relatives wanted to beat him up. The relatives then called the mother of the bear child over and explained the situation.
Unexpectedly, the mother of the bear child said:
"The child is still so young, what can he understand, he just wants to play, you are an elder and generous." To put it mildly, the responsibility is pushed clean.
Although the relative was angry, he was helpless, but when he turned his head, he thought of a way.
He praised the bear child and gave him a red envelope, saying:
"You did a great job, helped me clean the piano, you can also help others wash the piano in the future, they will also reward you." ”
Soon after, relatives got information that the bear child went to the mall, ran to the piano shop, poured Coke on the piano, and said that he wanted to wash the piano.
As a result, the boss grabbed his parents and demanded compensation, and the piano was discounted at 660,000 yuan.
This story is the best lesson, bear children do not understand anything when they make mistakes, but if parents actively guide and criticize and correct, the child will form the correct three views, on the contrary, the child's values are wrong at all, out of the house to the society, but no one is used to him!
The prerequisite for being respected is self-respect
The father in the video, in fact, the key point of the denunciation is that he feels that he is not respected as he deserves.
But Migrain mother feels that the prerequisite for self-esteem must be self-respect.
Remember the most famous "mother-in-law and grandson cutting the queue" incident in those scenic spots during the May Day holiday?
At that time, the two mothers-in-law and grandchildren were lining up in Hengdian Film and Television City, because they were in the wrong line, they directly "panned" to the correct line, and were pulled by the boys behind to remind them not to cut the queue.
As a result, the granddaughter went mad on the spot, roaring and scolding the man:
"Why are you pulling me?" "You like to bully the weak, I tell you, what I hate the most is you who bully the soft and afraid of the hard!"
Then, Grandma mended the knife, her face was hideous, and she glared viciously at the people around her:
"We're not easy to mess with either!"
The image of this mother-in-law and grandson is too mysterious to the extreme, and after the incident fermented, it was directly made into a car sticker:
When the girl could not bear the attacks and group ridicule on the Internet, she posted a long Weibo post saying that everyone did not respect their mother-in-law and grandchildren, but it did not help.
In public, we always need to be strict with ourselves, first respect ourselves enough, and then ask for the respect of others.
Just like the little boy who came forward to talk to his father was rejected, he came to denounce, and netizens can also see who broke through the boundary first.
I had heard about a colleague before, and she often peeked at her child's diary because she wanted to explore her child's inner thoughts too much.
Her husband also advised her not to look at it, after all, it is wrong to invade the child's privacy, no matter what the motive, you can't do it. But she didn't listen, and even felt that her husband didn't care enough about the children to obstruct her like this.
Later, this matter was really known by the child, who quarreled with her and wrote an essay on the theme of this matter.
In the composition, she used some words that made her mother particularly sad, anyway, it probably means that she thinks that her mother has a bad character, and she does not want such a mother.
The colleague was really heartbroken and cried for days. Her behavior of transcending the sense of boundaries directly hurt the child, and she was also met with a reaction that she could hardly bear.
I believe that every parent can't stand their children writing such essays. The family's crisis of trust may be difficult to repair for many years to come, and the child will be even more reluctant to come back to her if something happens.
Everyone needs to have their own personal space, including children who are not yet mature in mind.
If a person lives in an environment where there is no privacy for a long time, then the child is also likely to be unable to respect the privacy of others and communicate effectively with others.
Just like the five-year-old child who picked up the conversation in the incident, if his father makes such a fuss, he may not have the opportunity to learn the lesson of "boundary sense", and when he grows up, he will be hurt by similar mistakes.
A few days ago, Mi Li's mother went to the bank to do business, and when she was in line, the aunt in front was chatting with a young man. The two didn't know each other, and at first they were just chattering, but as they chatted, they changed their taste.
The aunt first asked the boy which school he graduated from, and then inquired about his income, and wanted to introduce a girlfriend to the young man.
It can be seen that the young man is embarrassed and does not want to answer the aunt's question, but the aunt is self-conscious and talks endlessly, completely unaware that his behavior has crossed the line.
Such things in life are actually very common, but when you look at it, it is really inappropriate.
So start with yourself and then influence your children by example. When we realize the importance of a sense of boundaries, children naturally learn to follow suit.
Personal profile: @米粒妈爱分享 rice grain mother, American returnee, Haidian parent. Focus on learning dry goods, educational experience and further education.