Whether the child is filial in the future depends on these 3 points! Don't raise your child to be a "white-eyed wolf"!

Many parents will reflect such a problem in the process of raising their children:

"My kids don't respect me."

Young children often order their parents to do this and that, and when one is unhappy, he loses his temper with his parents, and even punches and kicks him;

For older children, their parents are often ignored, disliked, and rebuffed when they talk to him;

I often quarrel with my parents, and I don't care about my parents' reasoning or advice...

This makes parents really aggrieved: I love my child so much and pay so much for him, why can't I get my child's basic respect?

In fact, the problem is not with the children, but with the parents.

Every child is born with unconditional love, dependence, and trust in their parents.

And when children don't respect their parents, it's time to reflect on what went wrong with their parenting style.

Blindly conniving will only raise children who do not know respect and gratitude

At around 11 o'clock one night, a Jiangsu boy and several of his classmates were still playing at home, not realizing that it was time to go to bed.

The boy's father, fearing that other parents, would be worried, pushed the door open and reminded the children not to play too late.

No one expected that the boy actually rushed out of the door, punched and kicked his father without saying a word, and attacked fiercely and decisively.

The mother persuaded from the sidelines, but the boy turned a deaf ear.

At this time, the classmates in the room seemed to hear the quarrel and came out to apologize and wanted to leave, but were pushed back into the house by the boy.

Immediately afterward, the boy began beating his father again.

Seeing this, the grandfather in the next room also walked out of the room, wanting to advise the boy and settle the dispute.

But the boy turned a blind eye, and even pushed his grandfather many times and kicked him.

But the boy's anger did not dissipate, and he shifted the target of his attack to his father.

He grabbed his father by the throat, tripped him to the ground, and kicked him hard.

Still angry, he picked up the drink on the table and poured it all on his father's head.

The child's violent behavior was outrageous, but no one in the family did anything to stop it.

Even the tall and burly father has always chosen to swallow his anger and let the child beat him and humiliate him.

The surveillance on the wall recorded this deviant scene, and the dispute went on for a long, long time...

Below the video, this highly praised comment was left:

 "In a family, if a child dares to speak disrespectfully to his parents, or even act directly, the order of the family has long been out of balance." 

Blind indulgence will only raise rebels who do not know how to respect and be grateful.

Love and rules go hand in hand, which is the best education for a family

I like this sentence: "Raising a child is like flying a kite, you want it to fly high, but you also want it to keep on the line." ”

As a parent, you should give your child more love, but you should also let your child know what to do and what not to do.

I read a story on the Internet.

On the high-speed train, there was a boy of five or six years old, sitting in the seat and moving around, and always kicking the backs of the passengers in front of him.

The mother warned him many times, but after a moment of silence, the little boy began to be naughty again and yelled.

The little boy's behavior also aroused the disgust of the passengers in front of him.

The mother pulled the boy into the open space at the carriage and said sternly, "Don't be so naughty anymore, you have already affected the people around you." ”

and asked to stand here for ten minutes.

The little boy didn't want to cooperate, so he cried and saw that his mother didn't respond; started to be coquettish again, but my mother was still unmoved.

After the punishment ended, the mother gave him a hug and told him that the mother still liked the baby, but the behavior just now was wrong.

And take him to apologize to the passengers in front of him and return to his seat.

After that, the boy obediently sat in his seat and did not make any more noise.

What parents teach, what children do.

As the saying goes, "There are no rules." ”

If you don't follow the rules, you can't be an adult.

True love is love with rules, which is to let children understand the boundaries and bottom lines of behavior and take responsibility for their own behavior.

Children who abide by the rules have a shortcut on the road to growth.

In fact, love and rules are the best family style for a family.

Parent-child relationship: love but not spoil, pet but not arrogant

The People's Daily once said: "Educating one's children well is the most important cause of parents." ”

Every parent should put in the effort to learn how to get along with their children:

1. Learn: "Kind and firm"

When your child appears disrespectful to you, talks back to you, or argues with you, you can walk away and wait for him to calm down before talking to your child.

As shared in "Positive Discipline":

"Baby, I'm sorry you're so angry. I respect your feelings, but I don't accept what you just did.

In the future, when you don't respect me, I'll walk away for a while.

I love you and want to be with you, and when you feel like you can respect me, I will work with you to deal with the problems you have. ”

Parents should be firm in telling their children how to get along with themselves.

2. Learn to let go

In the cartoon "Sandpiper", there is a detail that is very moving.

As the baby sandpiper grows up, the mother wants it to forage for food on its own.

But it couldn't find it for a long time, and it was hit the beach by the merciless waves.

It coquettishly coddled with its mother, hoping that her mother would feed it, but her mother ruthlessly refused.

He had no choice but to forage for food again.

And this time, when the waves hit again, it followed the example of a hermit crab and hid in the sand to avoid being swept away by the waves.

At this time, it found that a lot of food was hidden under the sand, and it learned to forage.

I like this sentence very much: "Letting go is the deepest love parents have for their children." ”

Parents know how to give selflessly, and they should also know how to quit at the right time.

3. Learn to win children's cooperation

Psychologist Xu Tiansheng once said:

All "problems" are rooted in the fact that parents replace respect with control, inspiration with commands, and trust with suspicion, so that their children's lives cannot find a way out and cannot find love. ”

If you want to win the respect of your children, you actually need parents to respect your children.

If you want to work with your child, you can hold regular family meetings to involve your child in making rules and motivating your child's initiative, and parents can check together.

Create a friendly and equal family atmosphere for children, and children are willing to respect others and take the initiative to take responsibility.

It's too much, and the parent-child relationship pays attention to a degree: love children but can't spoil them, and spoil children but can't be rulesless.

As Zeng Shiqiang said: "The best education is not to let children become geniuses, but to let them have parents in their hearts." ”

Children know how to respect their parents, in fact, they also have the ability to take the initiative to love.

The child appreciates what his parents have done for him and will cherish what he has in the moment.

A psychologist once said, "A person's relationship with his parents is a reflection of his relationship with the world." ”

In fact, when the relationship between children and parents is handled well, children have the ability to get along with the world.

I hope that all parents in the world know how to raise their children, and children know how to be grateful and respect their parents.