Some people say that emotional stability is a bowl of "poisonous chicken soup", do not do to others what you do not want to do to yourself.
It is also said that emotional stability is the top charm of a person. There have also been many hot topics on the Internet about "how important it is to be with emotionally stable people".
It is a normal behavior to express one's emotions. But there are also some people who are obsessed with making themselves an emotionally stable person, only to find out that they are actually pseudo-emotionally stable when they break out.
True or pseudo-emotionally stable? You can use the following questions to briefly test (questions and answers are for reference only).
1. In an intimate relationship, if you feel that he is ignoring your feelings, you will subconsciously:
A. Denying one's feelings, believing that one should not have such thoughts.
B. State the fact that the other person doesn't care about you, tell him how he feels, and tell him what you want him to do.
Analysis: People with true emotional stability recognize the value of negative emotions, will not be coerced by negative emotions, and can use it to understand or motivate themselves. People with pseudo-emotional stability have a very immature attitude towards expressing emotions and believe that they should not have negative emotions.
2. What would you do if you had an unpleasant relationship with your companion?
A. Refuse to communicate, pretending that nothing happened.
B. Express unhappiness and discuss together.
Analysis: People who are truly emotionally stable will take the initiative to discover the reasons behind negative emotions and untie the knots between both parties through communication or discussion. People with pseudo-emotional stability are Xi in refusing to discuss the state of their emotions and are unwilling to find the reasons behind negative emotions, which will lay hidden dangers for intimate relationships.
3. When you had a social mess today, what do you think of before you fall asleep at night?
A. Calmly face it, who hasn't made a fool of himself! Lie down first, and you can sleep for 8 hours today.
B. Reminiscing about the scene where he made a fool of himself, feeling self-blame, and worrying that he would make a bad impression on his friends.
Analysis: People who are truly emotionally stable rarely shy away from bad emotions and will calmly face the pleasant or unpleasant events that have happened. People with pseudo-emotional stability will repeatedly think about past mistakes and mistakes, and from time to time fall into the whirlpool of negative emotions, and it is difficult to extricate themselves.
4. There is a work assessment today, and you have been preparing for a long time but have not been able to pass it. Back home, you feel like crying. What do you do?
A. Crying while hugging the quilt to release his sadness.
B. Tell yourself: Except to be strong, there is no choice for workers.
Analysis: In high-stress situations, people who are truly emotionally stable allow themselves to feel and recognize the bad emotions in their hearts, and will actively seek appropriate support and coping strategies to better face challenges. People who are pseudo-emotionally stable are more likely to be involved in a negative state of collapse and loss of coping ability.
5. What would you do if you found yourself in a "low energy state" recently?
A. It is normal to think that your mood is at a low point, you should eat, drink, and exercise properly to relax yourself.
B. feels that he has been too decadent lately, and that he is a "national first-class protected waste".
Analysis: People who are truly emotionally stable are consistent inside and outside, have stronger emotional fluidity, and are not easy to get sick due to emotional changes. A pseudo-emotionally stable person seems to be indifferent on the surface, but the inner suppressed emotions are easy to make him internally and externally dysbalanced, and his body will have emotional diseases.
6. What do you do when you are faced with the negative emotions of a good friend?
A. Feeling that the other person is emotional and too vulnerable, these are not things, and change the subject.
B. Gently ask, "What has happened lately?" Would you like to tell me more?", giving hugs and comfort.
Analysis: People who are truly emotionally stable can perceive their own emotions, and can also pay attention to the emotional changes of others and help others resolve their emotions. People with pseudo-emotional stability not only suppress and ignore their own emotions, but also suppress and deny the emotions of those around them, increasing the possibility that others will lose control of their emotions.
Emotional stability refers to an individual's ability to maintain a relatively calm and stable emotional state in the face of various emotional triggers. It does not mean that there are no mood swings at all, but that the range of mood fluctuations is relatively small and it is not easy to be affected by external events or the emotions of others, resulting in an emotional response that is overly agitated or too depressed.
Emotionally stable people are able to adopt healthy emotion management strategies to regulate their emotions through adaptive strategies of acceptance, reassessment, and problem-solving. Specifically, emotionally stable people are able to perceive and fully accept all their emotions in a timely manner, and even if negative emotions arise, they will not choose to criticize and blame internally, but choose to face negative emotions directly. However, they don't allow themselves to be trapped in the emotional vortex for too long, they will try to find out the cause of the negative emotion, and actively look for ways to solve the problem.
However, some people appear mild-mannered and do not express intense emotions, but in fact they may maintain a semblance of stability by denying, suppressing, avoiding emotions, and masking their true emotional responses, perhaps for self-preservation, social needs, or other reasons. This feigned emotional stability can be understood as pseudo-emotional stability.
In addition to the above-mentioned inhibition and avoidance and other poor adaptive strategies, people with pseudo-emotional stability will also adopt another regurgitative non-adaptive strategy to cope with emotions, which is manifested in repeatedly recalling and thinking about past mistakes and mistakes after discovering some negative events, allowing themselves to fall into negative emotions and isolating themselves from the outside world. These poor patterns of emotion regulation can lead to the accumulation of emotions to the point of loss of control and outbursts, which can have a negative impact on an individual's mental health and interpersonal relationships.
Therefore, true emotional stability is based on a healthy psychological state and the ability to regulate emotions, which requires individuals to be able to truly recognize and express their emotions, and to be able to cope with and regulate emotions appropriately.
Maintaining emotional stability is an individualized process, as each person's emotional regulation style and needs may be different. Here are some common ways to help us stay emotionally stable.
Source: Public Health magazine